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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Am I a bad mother for not wanting to arrange a birthday party for ds, aged 2?

41 replies

bettyanne · 12/09/2008 19:45

I know some people will possibly laugh at this 'dilemma' but I don't have anything to compare our little family to!

We live in a tiny house which is not toddler friendly (lots of steps, a dog, etc etc) and I could not squeeze more than about 5 people into our lounge let alone a party!

Hve looked into hiring a hall, or going to a local farm, both options work out at about £150. At the moment the money would be better spent taking the three of us away for a night or two for a bit of a break.

Also, I secretly worry that i will be a crap 'mummy host' and if i arranged something it would be crap and everyone will laugh at me

But am i just a bad mother for avoiding the whole isue of birthday parties, what age will I have to start doing them?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

StarlightMcKenzie · 12/09/2008 20:37

This reply has been deleted

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CatIsSleepy · 12/09/2008 20:40

ooh no
dd had a little birthday tea with a friend, and the family came over for a meal at the weekend...
am hoping to get away with similar next year!

Stinkyfeet · 12/09/2008 20:59

Neither of mine had a 2nd birthday party. Ds1 had his first this year (5). Ds2 might have one next year when he's 3, but that's only because he's starting pre-school in a couple of weeks so possibly may have made a friend or 2 by Feb, and he's vaguely "friendly" with some of the younger siblings of ds1's friends!!

But at 2 - I wouldn't bother tbh. Just family, if anything.

jabuti · 12/09/2008 22:52

oh, ours was lovely! i cant wait until next year to plan her second birthday.

i can undertand being tired, busy, but to say its bad, horrific, its a bit too much. i have been to someone's else first birthday party too, and it was really nice.

SqueakyPop · 12/09/2008 22:55

You don't have to do parties - we generally don't. I have five children ranging from 16 to 6, and have had one party in a hall, two at home and three tea parties.

SqueakyPop · 12/09/2008 22:55

You don't have to do parties - we generally don't. I have five children ranging from 16 to 6, and have had one party in a hall, two at home and three tea parties.

paddingtonbear1 · 12/09/2008 22:58

not read whole thread - but to OP, no not unreasonable. dd is now 5, and up until now we've done just family/close friends parties. Since we get together with them often anyway, it was just like as usual but with different food and a cake!
This year we went to a theme park with just a few close friends. I haven't gone in for bug parties so far.

paddingtonbear1 · 12/09/2008 22:59

big parties I mean...

stephla · 12/09/2008 23:06

We didn't have a party for my son at 2 - just his grandparents round for tea, a fancy balloon and a caterpillar cake. He loved it.

Botbot · 15/09/2008 11:31

I reckon if there's any year not to have a party, 2 is it. We just had family this year. Last year we had a big barbecue, which was for the parents really and sort of instead of a christening (not religious), and next year I'm assuming she'll be insisting on a party and telling me who to invite!

Sycamoretree · 15/09/2008 11:38

Nah, he's only two. A nice day out will be treat enough. FYI, when he gets older, there are lots of cheap ways to do a party - post on here for ideas! I totally understand the space issue - not to mention the don't tread sarnies into my carpet issue.

Interestingly, I really shopped around for DD's 3rd birthday and found a local church hall that was £15p/h. And this is London - most were charging £40 plus.

As the kids get older, they are entertained by party games and music anyway - it's the hire of soft play or something along those lines for younger kids that bumps price up.

You are wise to hold off!

herbgarden · 15/09/2008 12:36

No, no - organise one when he finally has an opinion (not too far off) - I didn't organise one and had a couple of his little mates who would be there anyway, over for tea (to save their mums from cooking!!). we didn't even buy him a present !!.....he'll never know. He had lots of other lovely stuff and I'm sure he won't be scarred for life.

Gemzooks · 15/09/2008 13:44

reading this with interest, DS is nearly 2, kind of feel I should do something. Of course he doesn't give a monkeys..

ZipadiSuzy · 15/09/2008 14:03

Well done for not 'conforming' to the norm! we have put it off and my twins 1st ever birthday party is next month, they will be 5yo although I think 4yo is a more fair time to have party. As long as you have a lovely day as a family. Good luck and enjoy it.

BlueberryPancake · 15/09/2008 22:18

you could either do something really special with him, or have just one or two friends over for a nice cake with candles. I did that with DS1, at 2nd birthday, just made a really nice chocolate cake with lots of icing and invited his two best friends over. He had a great time.

purpleflower · 15/09/2008 22:33

DS is 2 in a couple of weeks. He's not getting a party as I am due 5 days before. My DN will be 2 a couple of days before and my SIL is due at the same time again. We went to the soft play last week for him but it wasn't really a party and he really didn't have a clue.

DS may have a party next year which will probably end up as a joint one with his little brother or sister.

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