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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Can't even drink a cup of coffee without dd tantrumming for some

27 replies

fizzbuzz · 09/08/2008 18:36

I am used to having to hide in corners like an alkie swigging coke or other evil drinks, because if she sees it she goes ballistic for some....

But now coffee or tea.I can't hide for ever. When oh when will this end? I have to conceal it in a room and keep nippinhg in for some. In desperation poured a tiny bit in a cup, dumped a load of milk in and ofered her some. Cue look of distaste.

30 seconds later...wantmummycoffee........

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SilkCutMama · 09/08/2008 18:38

My ds has drunk tea and coffee since he was very young. Both are de-caff
I don;t think there is a problem with this tbh

Original poster

fizzbuzz · 09/08/2008 18:39

But she won't drink it when she is given it. She just wants mine

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SilkCutMama · 09/08/2008 18:41

ah the perils of being a mum!!!
Just say no and then give her the dregs of your cup

LadyOfWaffle · 09/08/2008 18:41

Cruel but maybe just let her tantrum - DS does this whenever I have something, he gets the idea abit when I say "mummies drink" etc., but he does try and snatch whatever I have! Or let her taste it and hopefully she will hate it, then whatever you have in future say it's coffee...

posieflump · 09/08/2008 18:43

just say no, and very hot , my drink, not yours and offer her water/juice/milk or whatever it is she drinks

Original poster

fizzbuzz · 09/08/2008 18:44

I did let her taste it, and she didn't like it, but she still wants mine.

Mostly I ignore her, but she was really persistant this time. However ignoring her resluts in a lot of tantrums as well.

I just want a cup of coffee in peace........

OP posts:

CuckooClockWorkOrange · 09/08/2008 18:57

My son loves his own cup of tea. Nightmare. I'm sure my friends are all appalled. But he insists I really mean that. He's not three yet.

slng · 09/08/2008 18:59

Ds2 likes my ice coffee, my chinese tea, my thai green curry, my curry laksa, but not my apples or my oranges. How do they know!!??

HonoriaGlossop · 09/08/2008 19:08

make it very milky, then she can have a sip. Make it a little lesson about sharing DD sip, then mummy sip. The trick is to perfect an ability to take HUGE gulps in one go - she'll get two or three sips out of a mug, max

If she can always have a sip she will lose interest soon enough and you can go back to nuclear strength

elmoandella · 09/08/2008 19:21

you gotta say no.

what happens in school if she decides she wants everything her best friend wants??

could spiral from drinks, to clothes , to lanky boyfriends.

(paranoid wreck moment)

lizziemun · 09/08/2008 19:24

I call it 'the mummy diet' as once children are weaned you are never able to eat a whole meal again .

lilymolly · 09/08/2008 19:27

Just say no and ignore the tantrum- quite simple really

Bumperlicious · 09/08/2008 19:33

It's exhausting isn't it. I can't have a glass of water to myself and I too find myself hiding in the kitchen so she can't see me.

I know you should just say no, but it's wearing having to battle all the time.

HonoriaGlossop · 09/08/2008 19:35

I don't think it's worth getting drawn into huge power battles about TBH. Give her a sip, distract her as much as possible so you get through most of the drink while she plays; much more companionable and friendly and humane than locking horns and having daily tantrums over something so silly

Bumperlicious · 09/08/2008 19:37

Lilymolly you say it's quite simple but actually it's very exhausting and slowly grinds you down over the day. So not really that simple.

dittany · 09/08/2008 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

fizzbuzz · 09/08/2008 19:51

Mostly I ignore her, but all I want is to just drink a cup of cofee in peace without a wailing banshee at the side of me. It is just so wearing atm that you can't eat anything in peace, and have to hide away to eat stuff

Like the "mummy diet" idea Lizziemum. Have offered her sips but she won't wait for it to cool!

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chutneymary · 09/08/2008 19:54

I share my tea with DD (aged 3) - she only gets 1 sip to about 4 of mine, and it is easier than having the fight. She is losing interest a bbit now that I have given in. She also asked for a sip of wine, but I said no so sternly that she hasn't asked since

good luck, it won't last for ever. Agree that it's exhausting though.

mylittlemonsters · 09/08/2008 20:02

I've found a decaff tea and coffee I like and just always drink these. If d asks then I say too hot now I will drink some and then give it to you.

She always drinks it once she has requested it but doesn't always request it.

At the start she was more persistent but I was drinking caffinated so I'd say no.

babyinbelly · 10/08/2008 15:26

DS loves tea. I have never ALLOWED him to have any but if I leave it in his reach he grabs it an drains the mug before I can stop him. He has tried to snatch which earns him a slapped wrist and usually me burnt fingers. He understands that when I say mummy's tea that he can't have any, (until my backs turned) If you are consistant over a few days/weeks and say no everytime she asks and stick to your guns the tantrums will stop. kids will eventually learn when it is a losing battle.

CuckooClockWorkOrange · 10/08/2008 16:27

LilyMolly, I could ignore five tantrums each lasting 20 minutes every day of my life, but it seems a pointless battle. I just make him feel important and included and give him a bit of tea. Like ChutneyMary, I stood my ground over the wine. He's not happy about it, he still tries to grab a sip, and he is STRONG. But I'm not a doormatmother who gives in for a quiet life. Not every battle is worht fighting.

onwardandupward · 10/08/2008 17:59

Why would anyone fight this battle?

If a child wants some coffee, you pour a little bit from your mug into a tiny mug for them. They taste it. They hate it. You leave it in the mug. If they ask again in 3 minutes, you pour a tiny bit more into their mug. They taste it. Rinse and repeat.

Is this really about the coffee? Or is it really that you want your child to leave you alone for five minutes while you have a sit down and a drink? Because if it's that, then I'd be treating it like a military operation - what activities do you know your child loves and will get on with for 10 minutes without any input from you? Bring one of those out, and then slip off for your nescaff.

catweazle · 10/08/2008 19:10

How old is your DD fizzbuzz? We are going through this with our 16 mo. Whatever mummy has she wants. The tantrums if/ when I say no are so wearing. I just want to drink a cup of tea in peace.

AbbeyA · 10/08/2008 19:17

I agree with lilymolly,a few tantrums stop a lot of bother in the long run.
I would just say it is something they can have as an adult-end of story.Or if it doesn't bother you, give them one that is mainly milk.

Original poster

fizzbuzz · 10/08/2008 20:36

She's just 2. It is only about the fact I just want a coffee in peace without little voices asking her for some.

I have given her bits, but she doesn't like it, but then asks for more. It's that what bugs me, she wants more when she doesn't like it!

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