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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Training 3 year old out of night time nappies

51 replies

ToughDaddy · 06/08/2008 07:53

Wondered what the views are on weaning DC3 out of nappies at night time: In particular, are you meant to wake DC up at intervals for a night time wee? Any useful tips?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Bluebutterfly · 06/08/2008 08:03

Not tried to night train ds 3.6.

I always take him to the toilet last thing before bed, but he still has a wet nappy in the morning.

I think that it differs from child to child (with a lot of boys taking longer to achieve night time dryness)

I don't think ds is even capable of responding to a night time signal to his brain that he needs to pee - he sleeps to heavily, so I would have to wake up to take him and then hope that I timed it right.

Sorry not much help, but I know some mothers with ds's close to 5 who still struggle with this...

Original poster

ToughDaddy · 06/08/2008 08:10

my DS is 3.5. He had a run of three dry nappies recently and HE declared that he didn't want nappies anymore; he has older sibling so is probably looking to prove that he is grown up.

OP posts:

CoteDAzur · 06/08/2008 08:12

At 3 yrs, your child is old enough for a conversation on the subject. He is now a big boy, nappies are for babies, no peeing in bed, peeing in toilet like big people, etc etc.

Put plastic cover, towel, sheet, another plastic cover, towel, sheet on his bed. (So if there is an accident in the night, you whisk one layer off and the bed is ready.)

There will be several accidents at first but hopefully he will get the message. Tell him each time that it wasn't good that he peed in bed (not in an angry way, of course). Personally, I don't agree with "Ignore the accidents, clean up but don't say a word".

Don't start with lifting him to toilet in the night. If he wets the bed for a couple of nights in a row and you feel he won't go through the night without a wee for a while, then think about such measures.

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe · 06/08/2008 08:14

I honestly don't think you can train a child to be dry at night in the full sense, that they will be able to go all night without needing a wee (the objective) or to wake when there bladder needs emptying as it is a hormonal development.

At 3, I think it is mean to say it wasn't good you wet the bed. He is 3! He can't help it.

fishie · 06/08/2008 08:14

bare bottom sorted it out for ds, he was weeing in pyjama bottoms, i suppose it felt like a nappy. now he is naked from waist down and completely dry.

seeker · 06/08/2008 08:22

You can't do this until they are ready - they don't pee in their sleep on purpose!

Wait until the nappes are dry in the morning - in my ds's case he was 4.5 before this happened. Leave him in nappies - it's really not worth the washing!

MrsBigD · 06/08/2008 08:25

second seeker... we started night training ds after a couple of weeks dry night nappies. Then we generally carried him to the loo in the middle of the night. He was dry by the age of 3 and we were so thrilled as dd wasn't dry at night until she was well over 4. so basically ages vary so don't try and force it ;)

Original poster

ToughDaddy · 06/08/2008 08:25

thnaks guys. Doubling plastic sheet is such a good idea.

Last night was first time i tried. Thought I heard him call last night. Went to the bed and he was slightly wet. Took him to the bathroom and he was holding a very big wee. He didn't call again so I assume he is lying in a pool of big wee as I type now.

OP posts:

Original poster

ToughDaddy · 06/08/2008 08:28

When he had run of three dry nappies he was punching the air and telling everyone. I thought that an attempt during the summer is less convenient but I will consider postponing if this is not the right time.

OP posts:

Original poster

ToughDaddy · 06/08/2008 08:44

i meant summer training is MORE convenient...so my thinking was to go for it given his keeness to go for it. Just checked and he is dry but still asleep. He is very tired and probably only a wee will wake him up!

OP posts:

lulumama · 06/08/2008 08:50

DD is just three and asked to be taken out of pull ups at night. like your DC she had had a run of a few dry nights.. gave lots of praise and encouragement. she asked for no more nappies, and has had dry nights ever since.

not lifted her, but make sure she has a wee just before she goes to bed. a couple of times she has woken in the night and called me to take her for a wee, and then she goes straight back to sleep

Bluebutterfly · 06/08/2008 08:55

Cote d'Azur - what if, like my ds, your dc just goes on sleeping in a pool of urine? He does not wake up, even in a wet bed - I know because we have had some serious nappy leaking incidents and he just sleeps and doesn't really even wake up while I change him and the sheets.

seeker · 06/08/2008 09:00

You can't "get the message" if you are not physiologically ready. And the age when this happens varies hugely. There's a brilliant website - ww.eric.org with lots of information, but it doesn't seem to be working at the moment.

lulumama · 06/08/2008 09:03

i think seeker is right.. until the body is ready, you can 'train; as much as you like, but probably with little succes.. had been trying DD on the toilet on and off, and realised that as she had no idea when she needed a wee, it was pointless. waited until 2 yrs 11 months and she was dry in the day within 24 hours. had 2 accidents only the first week. dry at night very quickly after.

DS was the same., out of nappies at 3, dry day and night within 1 week.

CoteDAzur · 06/08/2008 09:15

I said "... hopefully he will get the message" with the understanding that if he doesn't, for whatever reason, then OP should look at other options - lifting, waking him up at a certain time and moving that time forward by 15 mins every night, forgetting the whole thing and trying a month later, etc.

CoteDAzur · 06/08/2008 09:18

Bluebutterfly - DD woke up in a pool of urine once or twice. We persevered and she was dry at night within a week.

If your DC wake up in a pool of pee every morning, then you probably should forget about night training for a while. Put nappies on for another month or so.

seeker · 06/08/2008 09:19

But, CoteDAzur, you did talk about having "you're a big boy now" type conversations. I really don't think it's any point doing this til the nappies are dry in the morning (check just before their normal waking time just to be sure it's not just the morning pee and they've actually been dry all night.)

Maybe I'm just lazy - but I can't see the point in making more washing and having to get up in the night to change beds if waiting 6 months will solve the problem.

CoteDAzur · 06/08/2008 09:42

What on earth is wrong with having a conversation about being dry at night with a 3 yr old?

If he manages it, great. If he doesn't, try other options.

But first, tell him it would be great if he didn't pee in the night, and see if he manages.

Original poster

ToughDaddy · 06/08/2008 09:51

well the night 1 report is that he had a dribble on his first night but cried out so that I took him to the bathroom. But I woke him him dry this morning at 9:30. He is quite please with himself. Will try for a few more weeks and see what happens. thanks

OP posts:

MsDemeanor · 06/08/2008 09:59

I think the idea of 'training' a child not to wee in his sleep is utterly ludicrous. They can't help it - they are asleep for heavens sake. Can you control what you do when you are fast asleep?
It's not a voluntary process. I think the word 'training' causes a huge amount of stress for parents. They will stop weeing at night when their bodies are ready and not before. And it happens at different ages. YOu can see how it goes without a nappy, but you can't blame them if they can't manage. One of my children was ready at two, one at six. Nothing to do with my 'training' them.

CoteDAzur · 06/08/2008 10:05

Now we are picking at words

The whole procedure is called "potty training" or "toilet training". Do you have a problem with that, too? If so, which term would you like the whole world to use instead?

Kewcumber · 06/08/2008 10:08

they need to be producing enough anti-diuretic hormone to go all night wihttout a wee. This reduces the volume of urine prodiced overnight and allows the blaader to store it. Otherwise the bladder is just not big enough to store the urine produced.

in a class of 30 5 yr olds apparently approximately 5 of them will not be dry at night, ie approximately 1/6 of 6 yr old have not yet produced sufficient ADH.

If they have enough and they are toilet trianed during the day then they should be dry pretty quickly if not then all teh training in the world won't make a difference.

There are other reasons why childrne aren't dry in the night but lack of ADH most common.

MsDemeanor · 06/08/2008 10:17

Personally I never used the word 'training'. I really don't like the idea of 'training' children. They aren't dogs. And as I said, my main problem with the the word is that it causes huge amounts of stress and misery for parents and children as it puts the onus of children being continent on parents (who feel they must 'train' or have failed at 'training' if they child still needs nappies), when actually it is a deeply personal, internal,biological mechanism which is individual to the child and, particularly at night, impervious to 'training'.

Original poster

ToughDaddy · 06/08/2008 10:18

Kew- very informative. I shall not push it.

OP posts:

gladders · 06/08/2008 10:36

'training' might nto be the right word - 'encouraging' is what we're all aiming for isn't it?

personally i think taking nappies off and 'encouraging' them not to wee in their bed by lifting when you go to sleep/putting potty in their room for them to use/taking them out of nightime nappies is fine.

but i will get shot down for that i know.

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