Apparently the phrase most commonly said by parents of young children at A&E is "I didn't know he could do that"

[PrettyCandles]

20m ds2 has just opened the cupboard, extracted the Dyson, unwound the cable, removed the 'child-proof' safety cover from the socket, plugged the machine in and switched it on.

Heaven help us.

Jacksmybaby did your Mum do that?

I have been howling with laughter at most of these. My dds are quite tame I think (famous last words!!) plus I can't compete with these well written and hysterically funny posts.

crayons in tumble dryer

think hot colored wax in clothes

oh my god this thread has made my night! crunchy snails, vaccuming up the loo. too too good.

At 19 months I found DS1 on the high windowsill in his bedroom. I'd put him in his room for a sleep, closed his gate and had gone to lie down on my bed as I was in the early stages of pregnancy and shattered. Then I heard a clinking sound and thought 'that's DS1's money box' and then realised where it was. He'd taken his socks and slippers off (I assume to give more grip), climbed from his bed to the changing unit and onto the windowsill and when I found him was walking along the sill to the other side. How I didn't shout and make him fall off I don't know and thank goodness the window wasn't open.

I know there will be more!

Dc4 aged about 2.5 drank most of a bottle of Chanel no 19 and stank of it for a couple of days. I was unimpressed but dh thought it was very funny.

DD aged 20mths 'cleaned' bottom quarter of plasma screen tv with fridge magnets.we watched the grey non see thru band gradually increase its width up the screen day by day until only Chris and Poi's heads were visible then chucked it and went back to old tv which is yellow and DD says bang bang tv mummy, hit it hard in the right place and it can be normal for a good hour.amazing what we'll put up with when we're tired.

when my cousin was small HE SHOVED THE FAMILY GERBIL UP HIS TUBA (they were in the local papers for that ).

my aunty (his mom) also did the pea thing when she was little...

DS1, aged 2 and a bit, dialled 999 from our flat. Unfortunately, when the police rang back, the phone was still off the hook so they had to come round to investigate. Even more unfortunately, the people who had built the block we lived in had not properly informed BT about which line went to which flat, so the police turned up and broke into our neighbours' flat downstairs (breaking a window and one of the policemen's shoulders en route ). Then, since they had set off the alarm in the other flat, another lot of police from a different station turned up as the alarm was linked to their call out system. When they eventually worked it out, I was so so so but they were amazingly nice about it. I had to explain the whole thing to the building management people to get the neighbour's window fixed, though, and they were slightly less nice about it.

Well this has really opened my eyes, the Alibaguettes are obviously quite tame! Only had cleaning the bath with toothbrushes, drawing on the windowsill with wax crayons.

Tink, no I meant DS had decided to hide his grandma's glasses in the dishwasher so they got a good clean!

Just thought of another one (a friend's DD did this) - hiding the bath plug (not one attached to the bath on a chain) so no-one could wash properly (they have no shower) until it was found 3 days later!

Sorry, couldn't resist!

when DD was about 2, I was in the bath and she was playing in her bedroom.

When I got out of the bath I went into her bedroom to check on her to find that she had managed to sneak 2 packets of sanitary towels from the bath room, she had undone the packets, removed the backing from every single towel and stuck them all over her bedroom walls, she was very pleased with her work!!!!

Just thought of another!

Instead of just throwing away old toothbrushes I use them to clean round taps etc. One night i was brushing my teeth and thought the toothbrush tasted a bit funny, looked at it and realised that is was the one i had earlier used with bleach to clean the sink and bath taps, I had put it in the bin but DD (now 9!!) saw it in the bin and put it back in the tooth brush holder thinking I had thrown it away by accident

Ds is now undoing the buckle on his carseat.

[ashen]

Still, at least I get a good at others' misadventures! Isn't it utterly amazing what our little darlings can get up to? How do any of them survive long enough to know better?

Oh I geddit, was being a bit slow Tink (although to be fair putting her own glasses in the dishwasher is actually the kind of thing my mum would do!).
Am loving the fascination with sanitary products - hilarious!

lol it was just the way you said that you found your mothers glasses in the dishwasher, with no mention of who did it

My DD1 once ate three karvol capsules. She cried for ages and so did I as I was worried they would poison her!

Once I was looking for my mobile phone and she looked a bit shifty (aged about 14 months) - I said "where's Mummy's phone?" and she replied "garden". It was too. I wouldn't have minded but we lived on the fourth floor and she had lobbed it out of the window! The phone survived. Alas, only to perish a few weeks later when she drowned it in a glass of water.

I also once rushed her to the docs as I thought she had swallowed a battery from the TV remote control. They did an ultrasound on her - she hadn't, and we later found it under the sofa!

Pickie - how did your 8 month old bolt your door

Very tame at this end, but ds (19 months) accompanied me to the loo this afternoon and posted half a loo roll down the toilet while I was in situ. Unfortunately, bladder control being what it is these days , I had to fish and squeeze it out, wee and all, before binning it.

All to the accompaniment of ds' frantic and self-congratulatory clapping.

Switched on the car engine.
Had a wee on the hall carpet because he didn't want to go to bed.
Emptying the bath cup by cup, while i was brushing my teeth next to him.

DS is 2.2 not too bad yet really.

Friends of ours DS 3.2 washed the inside of his dad's beloved car with a hose pipe.

DS2 also managed to climb out of his car seat while I was driving down the motorway. I checked my rearview mirror and he was happily sat on the parcel shelf.
I have warned them at Nursery about him for when he starts in September. If there is the remotest possibility of escape, he will find it!

hmm this morning DS (20 months) came into the bedroom and proceeded to pull a 'poo face'. while we were discussing whos turn it was to change him (doing rock, paper, scissors) I was aware of a v.strong poo smell- looked over side of bed and DS was merrily trampling poo into our bedroom carpet-unbeknownst to us he had cleverly took off his nappy in the night and was free range in just his PJs!
What a lovely way to start a saturday morning- DH hosing a sticky poo child off in the bath and me scrubbing trampled poo off the carpet...and all before 8am

Dynamicnanny- he bolted our kitchen door which has 2 locks that you slide to close...

He also used to go through our bin to look for food and one day DH caught him eating a salmon skin, he was just under 2 I think!

Blckrock, LOL at washing the inside of beloved car!

When my dad was a toddler (this was long long time ago) he tipped a full ashtray into the toilet, mixed the butts up in the water with the toilet brush and then painted the bathroom wall. Not sure what my grandmother was doing, looking for her fags presumably..