Apparently the phrase most commonly said by parents of young children at A&E is "I didn't know he could do that"

[PrettyCandles]

20m ds2 has just opened the cupboard, extracted the Dyson, unwound the cable, removed the 'child-proof' safety cover from the socket, plugged the machine in and switched it on.

Heaven help us.

Yuck at snail/slug juice.

Oh and DH has just reminded me of when DS was 15 months old, he came into the lounge with a serious head injury which turned out to be tomato puree rubbed into his hair. I can't spell either BTW.

Forgot this one. Ds was playing at a friends and the three of them were very quiet upstairs but we were having a cuppa and you know when you think you should go and check but you dont?

DS went to the bathroom for the 2nd time in 5 minutes and it smelled really nice (could smell it downstairs). it turned out her little girl used all her mothers Clinique make up on the 2 boys plus they emptied a large bottle of Clinique Happy and the 'soap' they used was some kind of hair mask!

My nephew at almost 3 poured 3 litres of milk down the back of my sisters big tv because he thought it was thirsty. The worst bit was that it went under the laminate flooring and stank for weeks.

My other nephew fed the video a jam sandwitch, back in them old days of videos.

OMG - this thread has had me in hysterics! have been reading them out to my DH as well.

Not dangerous, but left me shaking like a leaf... My 14 month old DD disappeared one day to my absolute horror. I was tearing around the house shouting her name and looking everywhere I could think of; even running out into the street. After a few mins I heard a naughty giggle, she had somehow managed to get in behind the bin in the kitchen which is kept beneath the counter. Sure that one story will seem tame given time!

DS2 sprayed himself with Cif Oxy-Gel. I got to him just as he was squirting it in his mouth.

He climbed on the radiator in order to lever himself onto the windowledge to look out the open window.

He walked out the front door (left open by DS1) and was found wandering down our busy road by a stranger.

He climbed 15 ft onto the half-finished treehouse platform.

All at 18 months.

Last week a friend knocked on our door to tell us that he was standing on the pavement waving at all the cars. (He had got out through the back gate which we didn't know he could open).

He's now 3.9.

His favourite activities are wrapping strings or cords round his neck, climbing on high things and plugging in electrical appliances.

Ye gods.

i'd left my hairdryer on the bedroom floor. ds (then 13mo) was messing about with the contents of a drawer while i got dressed. in the few seconds i turned my back he managed to extract the childproof plug thingy from the plug socket, plugged in the hairdryer and switched it on to full blast. and then cried with the shock - but not nearly as much as me....
he also managed to open the dishwasher after dh didnt shut the door properly. i caught him thoughtfully extracting the carving knife.

oh and he's dialled 999 too. about half their calls must be from toddlers...

My DS1 (2.4) is obsessed with the hoover also - will happily plug it in and run it over the floor, but only in one area so not much actual help.

"Helping" with cleaning today he managed to squirt Mr Sheen all over his face (not in eyes/mouth, luckily - just hair ).

He also turns off the washing machine mid-programme, I go back to after a while thinking "Oh, the washing's finished" and open the door, only for all the water to flood out because he stopped it mid-cycle. Has happened a few times now.

Likes to pull loo roll and hang the end in the bowl, and then flushes so that the roll unravels several sheets... But have got on top of that one now, just buy naff cheapo stuff that can't take the strain and tears

Mummy's little darlin' (sorry, have been watching Fireman Sam too much)

Oh yeah, forgot the loo rolls down the loo. He's been doing that for a couple of years now.

DS3 has taken to washing his hands in the loo.

Ah yes, DS has managed to escape through the sitting room window and make off down our culdesac in his pyjamas.

We were hunting around the house for about 10 minutes unable to find him before we realised he'd got out. We found him in a back garden about 10 doors down (had a side gate) playing with their garden toys. That was only because DH was running down the street shouting his name and a girl at an upstairs window had seen him and was asking if he was looking for a little boy with blonde hair

He has also learnt how to get a chair up at the front door and open the chubb lock. We've caught him wandering down the street that way.

He's escaped from our clutches more times than I can remember. No reins keep him in.

Yes loo rolls good old favorite here as well! We found DS stuck with his head stuck in the toilet seat squilling to get out! Still regret it till this day I didnt take a photos first before pulling he lid up.

The other day he managed to get my mooncup and just as the MIL is leaving asking her what is this gran ma! He has also used it as a cup to drink from!

I'm not letting DS read this thread, he might get ideas.
Not quite sure what we have done, we have a child who fills the washing machine with dirty clothes ( they were in box waiting to go in) and drags a chair to sink to wash up. hes 2.

Does get water all over the kitchen when he washes up, does that count.

Not really dangerous but disgusting - when DS started potty training and was having lots of accidents, I put some pooed-in pants into the mop bucket to soak in hot water (it's the only bucket I've got and was going to wash it afterwards!). Went upstairs to the loo and on my return found DS had 'washed' the kitchen floor with the mop-buckets contents. Poor thing was very proud of himself and couldn't understand why I was so upset.

My friends 2 yr old DS unscrewed a lightbulb from a lamp in lounge & proudly ran into the kitchen clutching it to show his Mum!

Sudo seems to be quite popular!

I've got another one she does quite often. She likes to help me with the washing (I get her to put things in, take things out because bending is difficult for me) and she likes to help by "setting" the tumble dryer to cool, which I obviously don't notice for two hours when I can't understand why the washing is still wet.

pickie, he wasn't so clever, I'm afraid. Mobiles will only dial 9 when they're locked (or you can dial 112) so hit it often enough and it will call the emergency number.

Flameboy does most of these things!!!

It is good to see I'm not alone in hell

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has a LO who is a complete escape artist. Had left DS2 asleeep at 7pm only to get a knock on the door at 9pm from a neighbour who had found him walking down the street. We now make sure the keys are too high to reach even with the help of a chair. sheesh.
He has also "coloured in" the carpet with black marker pen which DH left out.

We have also had the sudocrem, all over face and scalp, hair, everything....It's so greasy and hard to get our of carpets!

My DS1 helpfully posted all my credit cards through our floor boards.

Hmm, Tom (2.3) likes throwing things. Quite often find shoes in the kitchen sink or loads of toys down the stairs to our flat. He launched his buggy down them on tuesday, breaking the hood.

He also likes to empty cupboards and stacks cans of food up. Hes locked me out once as well. Neighbour phoned the flat people and someone came and let me in, Tom was sat playing with my peg bucket.

He emptied my sewing kit out the other day. Didn't know he can undo zips. He went outside with it and sat playing with the buttons with next doors little girl (2.8).

My DS at aged about 22 months, threw his dad's brand new phone into a cup of coffee. Two months later while on holiday he threw my mobile into his pool. Then he laughs rather wickedly after. Tiny horror that is my son.

Phew, thank god its not just me!
My DS has done loads of these

Last thing he did was get a bottle of screen wash open and drank it! That resulted in a 24 hour hospital stay, but luckily no harm done!

I had given dd a basket of tampax to play with while I was in the shower. I had my eyes closed to rinse the shampoo out my hair. Opened them to find she had unwrapped said tampax and had plopped them into the shower tray and was watching them expand!

Don't have DC myself yet (I now consider myself warned!) but my brother, when he was 2.5 decided he wanted to play with the 'computer' game (those tennis ones in the 70's).

He worked had out it needed to be plugged in, but there was something else plugged into the socket. He tried pulling the plug out but wasn't strong enough, so he found a knife from somewhere, and proceeded to lever the plug out. My mum, who was in the next room, heard this almighty bang and came rushing in to find my brother in tears, clutching a knife with a big chunk burnt out of it!! She doesn't know how he managed not to electrocute himself but years later, when the horror had finally worn off, she was proud of how clever he was to think of levering the plug out.