How does everyone else with kids manage to work and NOT feel permanently knackered, or am I just feeble?

[DaisyM]

Just started new job, 3 days a week. Previously worked 4 days a week and found it to much, was permanently knackered and had no time for daughter when got in from work. Thought working 3 days a week would be better, would have more energy, feel less tired and generally be a new woman! But no... still feel knackered, infact almost fell asleep at work yesterday. Dont understand how others cope with more than one children and expecially those that work fulltime. Feel really feeble, I have no reason to complain because I'm lucky that I only have to work 3 days (had to cut back on lots of luxuries but made the decision it would be worth it)but interested to know if its just me struggling with this permanent exhaustion or if everyone else is superwoman! I spend a total of 2.5hrs each day commuting to work and have a long walk from the station to office but surely this isnt making me so tired, its not like I spend all day on my feet at work either, I get to sit in a nice comfy office.

As others say - it's the commute.

Another vote for the commute here. The one good thing about finishing my current lovely three-day a week contract will be dropping the commute.

I have a 2 hr commute to work. I work 2.5 days a week and find the days I work exhausting (I have to drive too). What works for me is eating well, drinking lots of water and having a proper rest at lunchtime. I also work from home when I can.

I am currently pregnant and planning to get a new job on my return from leave as I can't do this commute long term it's too much.

Agree the commute is a killer. But probably manageable if its the job you really want/ enjoy and you cut back on other things (like cleaning and worrying about eating healthily )
I walk to work (3 days a week), have a 2 year old and am pregnant, so am completely knackered anyway. But making "me" time is really important.
Good luck

I think combining work and children is tiring basically!

I work 4 days, spend a similar amount of time commuting, 25 minutes of which is walking dd to childminder's house in the morning. I don't mind that walk, I need the exercise, and actually enjoy my train ride, get to read a book/listen to music and then the same again on the bus afterwards.

I think what makes me tired is partly the whole rush and intensity of getting me and dd out of the house on time and then the evening routine with dd when me, dh and dd are tired and trying to bath her, get her to bed etc. Then running around getting stuff done and cooking dinner before we can finally sit down and relax. Weekdays can feel like a total grind, even though being at work is actually fine.

Am so glad I don't work 5 days, having Fridays off is blissful!

Yes catissleepy. That is it. Work is the calm in the midst of the storm.

Agree that work and childcare is exhausting (I work 3 days until school pick up and have 3 kids)

but if I was regurarly so tired I was falling asleep at my desk I would be concerned

I felt like thta last week but was ill.

your commute sounds long

I leave ht eh house at 8.10, drop kids at school and nursery and am in office by 9

dont drink in week
excercise
eat properly

Oh yes I agree that the work bit is less stressful than the rest. I drop dd off and pick her up every day and trying to make sure we are everywhere on time is hugely exhausting at times, esp if she's being unco-operative. Then I try to get at least a bit of housework done in the evening so as to avoid having to do it at the w/e. Ironing at 10pm anyone? . A trick is to lower your standards. I try to aim for a house that would not be completely embarrassing if someone were to pop round unexpectedly - ie clean toilet, no sticking to the kitchen floor. One can generally write in the dust on some shelves though. Every now and then we do a more thorough job, generally if we know someone is coming to stay.

I am dropping my hours in August from 5 days FT to 3 days. Utter, utter bliss - dd starts school in Sept and I'll be able to MN more clean more thoroughly and do the ironing at more reasonable times - hurrah

god what do your dhs do?

mine does loads of housework and childcare in evenings so its not all down to me

also he drops off at nursery if he doesnt have a meeting first thing

Oh yes, no drinking in the week. Definitely. It's surprising what a difference it makes.

Every Friday on my way home I stop at the co-op and buy a bottle of wine from the fridge. Ooh look, 'tis Friday! It'll soon be wine o'clock

God yes, housework in the evenings would kill me. We do pay a cleaner, which I realise is something not everyone can do.

Good point Enid - dh and I share everything 50/50 - childcare/house stuff etc. Also helps to outsource cleaning/ironing

I tidy in the evenings

briefly

and someimtes fold some clothes

but I send my ironing out and have a cleaner AND have a dh with mild OCD so lucky me

I find that like with most things once you eventually find a workable routine things seem on the whole calmer and less stressful which to me means less tiredness.

Enid my dh does help when he's around, however he has a longer working day and also he's away a lot. I would say his average working week if he isn't travelling is about 55 hours whereas mine is 35 atm and will cut to 21 soon.

I think you do get used to it too. I work full time with 3 children but I do have a pleasant cycle commute or I work from home. I would struggle with 5 long days out of the house and a commute. As it is I am only knackered about half the time - when we have a stressful phase.

For me I would rather be knackered from trying to do a bit too much, than be bored from doing too little.

my dh generally picks dd up when he's not working late, we both do the evening routine with dd, and we take turns to cook
we're both tired

Ok I dont think I am as tired as you lot

I go through phases of being utterly wiped, but then I always have.

yy me too

am on the go and thinking thinking doing doing then I will have a week when utterly pooped

no booze and early early nights knocks it on the head

Enid you are very sensible

[Props up eye bags with industrial sized matchsticks]

I am lucky - I have one dc and she is well behaved most of the time (for a 4yo ).

Really not sure how I'd cope with more than 1, esp if there was an unruly one in the mix.

I do know that when I had 3 under 5 I was less tired after a day at work than after a day at home. Being at home with my 3 when they were that age was utterly knackering.

Even now it's about 50:50 which is worse. day at home with 3 dds or day at work, in terms of tiredness. I am often shattered by Sunday evening and desperate for Monday morning and a nice quiet cup of coffee at my computer.