Please tell me that all 5 year old girls are the devil incarnate

[fannybanjo]

Because mine is. Life is becoming one long battle. Please reassure me she will grow out of it as I also have an 8 month DD and I am not looking forward to reliving this stage again.

She has become "mean". She barely acknowledges her baby sister, is cocky to me and her dad and I have heard her being quite mean to her friend (who gives as good as she gets). She just doesn't seem to realise how her behaviour is wrong. I have taken privileges away but what else can I do?

Has she recently started school? I think it can be a bit difficult when you start school, to work out how to behave at school and at home.

But no, they're not all like this. Sounds as if various things like the baby and school have thrown her, actually.

find out wy she is being like this
is she havng a hard time at school?
she may be worried about not having friends, not understanding some of the work, or a simple thing like she doesnt know what ot do if she needs the toilet or at lunchtime
is she losing out on sleep with the baby cryng at night? making her grumpy?
is she doing too many activities after school which are making her tired?
is she feeling unwell?

or there may be a problem she just cant express to you

take he away from the house and go on a long bus trip or something - where you can chat with her and there is nothing to distrct her

good luck

Thanks for your replies, I think it could be tiredness (she does Gymbobs on a Monday, Swimming Lessons on Tuesday and Gymnastics on a Thursday). I might drop the Monday Gymbobs. Fortunately baby is an angel, doesn't murmur at all at night!

She is a very active girl, and I mean ACTIVE but I think she is probably getting worn out. She had a school trip yesterday and was tired, probably why she hit her friend, more out of frustration than anything.

Tomorrow I am leaving the baby with my mum and going to take her out to fair on our own. She probably needs a bit of one on one with me.

i think 3 after school activities a week is too much.

let her rest more. and give her one to one

Both my daughters are appalling if they are hungry and/or tired. They're absolutely lovely if they're fed and rested! And they're seven and nearly five.

I think that taking her out for one on one is excellent idea.

I think what dd misses most since starting school is having adult attention. She has gone from being one of the top dogs in a small preschool, with days out with my mother, and time with just me, to having to share adult attention at all times, so there's always ds around when I'm around, she's in a class of 30 with 2 staff, she doesn't get to see my mother as much.

Also, dd only does swimming after school once a week, as I've made a conscious effort to keep after school low key. It must be exhausting for them at first.

Hi there
When she is good she is magical.....but right now my 5 year old daughter seems to have become a teenager already. She has just shouted at me 'I wont, and you cant make me'. Hmmmmm. I dont believe in smacking and I have already withdrawn all treats and TV. Time out doesnt work. What do other people do in this instance to show her that actually she WILL have to do as she is told, without getting fuming angry. Sadly my 5 year old still throws major tantrums and is a terrible whinger. From what I have seen of her school mates and her little friends she plays with out of school, it seems pretty normal for them to be majorly defiant (probably learning it from some of the older children?) - my dilemma is how to deal with it (my daughter is a very feisty and strong willed Arian). There are those lovely docile children you see trotting down the road attached to mummy's heels and for a moment I wish mine was like that but actually I love her bright minded creative spiritidness but boy can it be hard work at times...........

Mine is the little girl who had a little curl right in teh middle fo her forehead

really

She is sweet and loving and giving and adorable one moment

And the devil incarnate the next

I came down this am and she said "Good morning servant"

(she had a pompous nose in the air look on her too)

My 7 year old son recently called me his skivvy.

What you are all saying makes sense, problem is she really really wants to do all these activities. I cut back to one a week and she was bored (even though I take her to park/local play centre or would just make cakes/play with her on her trampoline etc). Its like she needs to be stimulated all the time.

Zophiella, I feel for you, this is what I have to deal with too, not so much tantrums but whinging. I agree regarding them having spirit. I was the same as a child and am no pushover as an adult. I would rather her be able to stand up for herself!

Countess/Not a Banana -

I love it when they are cheeky like that, shows intelligence!

My children are not docile, actually, Zophiella, and they're pretty spirited. They can strop and tantrum like god knows what. But they are fundamentally lovely kids. I personally think.

sorry but my 5 year old is a delight most of the time.

she is probably tired? all mine got more freaked out and grumpy when the babies get to about 8 months as the baby becomes a real person then (smiling sitting up etc) so therefore more competition?

my 8 year old can be a surly clever-dick however

lol at servant

does she watch too much tv?

kids that seem to need constantly 'stimulating' nearly always do I find

My dds are not docile or unspirited but if they called me their servant or skivvy it would unleash the less docile side of me to a scary extent.

They can be feisty without being rude.

I agree that the OP's child sounds as though she's tired and maybe got too many evening activitie while still getting used to school.

My 6 year old can be a bitch from hell most days- does that make you feel better?

yes agree lots of activities

dd2 does swimming on a saturday and ballet on a friday

my dd is 6 tomorrow and she is just the same!!

Her attitude to me & dh is appalling (how can such a youngster have such scathing sarcasm???) and she has diva-strops at the most ridiculous things.

We too are hoping it is a phase...

sorry but being a difficult child does not make you 'spirited'

even quiet docile children can be spirited in their own way - it doesnt mean rude you know!

I do rather resent the implication that my daughters are thick and sheep-like.

Enid, she watches probably 45/60 mins a day. 20 mins in the morning and probably half an hour to 45 mins in the evening (to wind down before bed) would you say that is too much?
She will watch it quite a bit on a Saturday morning whilst I tidy around but we always do activities together. I admit I do a lot less with her now I have DD2 to see to but she seems to have adjusted okay.

Countess/Not a Banana
Yep, mine also had that wierd idea in her head that I was her servant. One day she boomed out 'I am the boss of this house'.
Ahemmmmmm no you are NOT young lady. She was quite indignant when she discovered she wasnt!
Fannybanjo - I know what you mean re the after school activities, mine wants stimulating all the time, she did right from a baby, we havent got her signed up for much at the moment because everyone says dont when they are in their first year of school. The thing is, she thrives on being with others and keeping her mind active, so actually she is getting bored (thus the whining I guess) so I need to start finding her things to attend. As long as your DD isnt tired I would keep the activities going if she enjoys them.

I would say thats fine

I would drop an activity

they are all really knackered at this time of year even school-loving, docile dd2!

What makes you "spirited"? I would say most children are in their own way, they have their likes and dislikes like we do! They just don't like the word NO!