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Original poster

Please tell me that all 5 year old girls are the devil incarnate

90 replies

fannybanjo · 16/05/2008 11:40

Because mine is. Life is becoming one long battle. Please reassure me she will grow out of it as I also have an 8 month DD and I am not looking forward to reliving this stage again.

She has become "mean". She barely acknowledges her baby sister, is cocky to me and her dad and I have heard her being quite mean to her friend (who gives as good as she gets). She just doesn't seem to realise how her behaviour is wrong. I have taken privileges away but what else can I do?

OP posts:
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Enid · 16/05/2008 12:15

dont these 'bored' kids play with stuff?

HonoriaGlossop · 16/05/2008 12:15

the servant comment has genuinely made me laugh out loud

cheeky so and so

I agree that alot of the cockiness can be picked up from school and that's why at this stage I think it's so important to be really careful about the way you speak TO the child yourself...if home is always a place where people are polite and courteous to each other then that does sink in and this becomes just a phase (ok I'm not saying people never get cross with eachother, but most of the time at least...)

Picking up and praising ANY good behaviour at all (even if it's not actively being GOOD, could be just sitting quietly in front of the telly!) gives you a chance to say how lovely she is and how proud you are of her etc, and allows you to build up her view of herself as a good, polite child

Don't engage with cockiness or rudeness, just say you don't talk to people who talk to you that way

Don't get into 5 yr old style to and fro arguments with her - hard though it can be to resist, we have to, we are NOT 5!

Agree with binning much of the out of school activities; that's alot in a week for such a young child and she WILL be tired; if she seems bored, a visit to the park or chasing bubbles round the house will suffice IMO

motherinferior · 16/05/2008 12:16

Nobody likes the word no.

Enid · 16/05/2008 12:17

dh and I are very courteous to each other

I think mine have picked it up as they are very polite generally

Enid · 16/05/2008 12:17

god that sounded smug

motherinferior · 16/05/2008 12:18

Oh dear, we huff and shout a lot. All of us. Especially if we're tired and hungry .

I still stand by the belief that my daughters are quite lovely.

HonoriaGlossop · 16/05/2008 12:19

not smug, just TRUE

Kids don't need coaching, they pick up how things are done around them and generally if you are polite to them, they will be polite to you

Enid · 16/05/2008 12:21

I am more shouty and horrid when I have pmt and my kids are more difficult then too

even dh has noticed (thanks for pointing that out )

Enid · 16/05/2008 12:22

your daughters always sound lovely mi

even though they cant spell

motherinferior · 16/05/2008 12:24

I bloody love my kids. With a quite embarrassing passion.

Original poster
fannybanjo · 16/05/2008 12:24

Enid, I agree though re your relationship with your DH. DH and I have had a lot of financial issues recently hence more arguments/stress. We probably need to look at our relationship and see if being more harmonious to each other benefits her (well of course it will). We did have a chat last night and have sorted a few problems we had out. We have had quite a stressful 12 months and it is probably taking its toll on DD.

OP posts:
sykes · 16/05/2008 12:25

Sometimes I think I must be a bit of an ogre or maybe have a couple of drips for daughters. I can't understand why some children are so rude to their parents each other. I can't imagine putting up with it - I expect politeness and being kind. It's not a huge amount to ask. And how/why do children get so bored? They should be able to occupy themselves, surely, without having an activity virtually every day. I LOVE it when we can come home and the girls go in the garden and play for a few hours. so do they.

zophiella · 16/05/2008 12:27

Mother Inferior, maybe docile was the wrong word as it seems to have offended so much! Where did the thick and sheeplike come from?
Maybe we should insert amiable, willing & easy going instead to better capture my meaning!
My daughter's behaviour and manners are appalling sometimes I quite agree and other times they are wonderful - whenever she plays at anyone else's house they always tell me how well mannered and what an angel she has been.
However that is separate from her spiritidness. I agree rudeness is something else entirely. Being feisty doesnt mean being rude. My definition of being spirited is being outspoken, lively, curious, able to express all of your emotions rather than hide them (even if others dont like it), quick mind that questions everthing, etc

No, mine doesnt watch a great deal of telly either.

CountessDracula · 16/05/2008 12:28

To be fair she had been playing being the Queen with my mum! It was role play rather than total cheekiness

motherinferior · 16/05/2008 12:31

'I love it when they are cheeky like that, shows intelligence!'

So not speaking like that shows the opposite?

and 'docile' is distinctly sheep-like.

zophiella · 16/05/2008 12:33

Sykes, sounds wonderful the image you have painted. How do I get that to happen then?
Is it because my daughter doesnt have siblings that playing for a few hours in the garden isnt appealing to her? I do as much as I can with her but then DH comes home and wonders why the house is a tip, so finding the balance to do eveything is tricky!

Enid · 16/05/2008 12:33

dd1 is docile

she is chilled to the bone most of the time

it is lovely

sykes · 16/05/2008 12:34

Have no idea why being cheeky would make you think a child was intelligent. I'd just think they were cheeky.

CountessDracula · 16/05/2008 12:35

My dd is rather over-enthusiatic sometimes

We went to teh doctor (for me) the other day and as we were leaving she jumped on the Dr and gave her lots of big kisses

Enid · 16/05/2008 12:37

dd2 is intelligent

and not cheeky with me (although she is with her sisters which is quite funny)

she is too busy doing sums and practising spelling to be cheeky

zophiella · 16/05/2008 12:38

Enid, sounds like bliss.
I love my daughter to pieces but she isnt the easiest of creatures as many of my friends have quietly observed! My mum says it is because she is too intelligent for her age. I think my Mums observation is ridiculous, what does she expect me to do, tell her she isnt allowed to think for a few years so her body can catch up with her mind! I think she gets frustrated!

nailpolish · 16/05/2008 12:40

of course your mother would say that. dd is her grandchild

all grans say that sort of thing

being a cheeky child does not mean intelligence

Enid · 16/05/2008 12:41

Well if you think she is clever then perhaps some educational stuff on the pc?

Jump Ahead, Cluefinders etc

Enid · 16/05/2008 12:41

how is her reading?

nailpolish · 16/05/2008 12:42

all 5 yr olds get tired easy and frustrated cos they cant yet express how they feel as precisely as they wouldlike. they dont recognise they are tired. they get bonmbarded with info

if my dd is being dificult and i know she is tired and/or frustrated i put herin her room - not as punishment - andi tell her to lieon her bed and look at some books or play with dollies. and i tell her to deep breathe - dont laugh - i tell her to lie on the floor like astar and close her eyes and relax

it works