How on earth can I stop my toddler from hitting me?

[TheProvincialLady]

DS is 20 months and a lovely, affectionate little boy. But over the last few weeks he has taken to pulling the hair of other children when they take a toy from him/have a toy he wants/stand too close. Not attractive but fairly normal I think and I have been dealing with it by saying No he musn't do it quite firmly and that it isn't kind, etc. He can't say sorry or anything yet so I have apologised to the other child for him.

This week he has added whacking me to his skills. From nowhere he will just smack me in the face or chest, sometimes quite hard. Sometimes it is because he is tired or wants something and I haven't responded quickly enough, other times I have no clue why he has done it.

I have tried being firm, saying no, ignoring it, explaining that it hurts me, even wailing and crying (this afternoon he split my lip with a hard plastic cup) So far nothing makes a difference. Is this a stage he will just grow out of or should I be doing something I haven't tried yet? It is especially wearing as I am 9 weeks pregnant and feel pretty crappy most of the time. I am still playing with him/reading/taking him out as much as ever though.

All advice would be welome, and if anyone has any body armour for sale that would be useful too.

[bristols]

Monkey - The idea is that he learns that hitting gets him no attention whatsoever whereas the 'hittee' gets lots of attention. It seems to work so far although I can see why you would think it would make the jealousy worse. I can't explain that one!!

I also try to encourage 'nice' physical contact such as stroking.

[Cristina0115]

My baby is already 6 years old, but I can remember tantrum horror like it was yesterday. I had some advice from my mother; my favorite was time-outs...sparingly. Depending on the child, using a time-out occasionally, beginning at about the age of 18 months, may help her manage feelings better when she has a tantrum. A time-out can be helpful when your child's tantrum is especially intense and other techniques aren't working.
Placing your child in a quiet, or – better yet – boring spot for a brief period (about one minute per year of his age) can be a good lesson in self-soothing. Also there are videos online on how to talk with your toddler correctly. Most of them are rubbish, but few are gold. I found this one bit.ly/1RfF7ym helpful and this one is not bad too //www.healthyfamilyhouse.com good luck!

[larryharryhausen]

Can anyone tell me what was Gagarin's advice?

[DemToes]

I've just googled this issue and this thread came up. I'm also wondering what Gagarins advise was as they link doesn't work.

I'm getting desperate now so would love to know what the advise was as it's seems to have worked for a few people.

[MumUnderTheMoon]

As far as laughing when you look stern goes; children can laugh to diffuse tension it's a slightly anxious response to a situation where they don't quite know why your doing what your doing and they're a bit worried. If he is hurting other children you could pick him and carry him away set him in his pram for example for 2/3 minutes. Then tell him very firmly you will not hit, don't go into too much detail as he's too young for complex sentences ,then tell him to say sorry. What ever you choose to do just be consistent he just needs to see that hitting= not getting to play or hitting= mummy leaving

[Aaliah1234]

What is gagarins advice? The link doesn’t work. I need to nip it in the bud now as well

[DemToes]

Bumping for Gargains advice

I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with hitting, please someone put us out of our misery!

[Lotusfower]

I joined this site to find out what garagins advice was but the link don't work! Anyone have a clue? Desperate mum here.

[Colette56]

The link didn't work for me either but after searching I think I found it

Good luck to all the sore mummies - feel like I've been hit with a bus by the time I get into bed at night

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/501936-today-my-22-mo-has-bitten-me-four-times-scratched