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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Help me discipline my 7 yr old Dd please

34 replies

ChristmasCracker · 08/12/2004 20:34

Oh god, not again , i just posted a really long thread about my dd's terrible behaviour and me inability to deal with her and it's all gone

OP posts:

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blossomgoodwill · 08/12/2004 21:09

When my ds aged 7 misbehaves, which to be honest is very rare. I sit him infront of the patio doors outlooking the garden on a chair and tell him to sit still look out at the garden for 10 minutes and think about why he is there and what he has done. If he complains or tries to get down I tell him he has to sit there fro another 5 minutes and then add 5 mins for everytime he does. He hates it so much that it always works!

yuleicorn · 08/12/2004 21:11

Sympathies to you Cc, I know how you are feeling.. my daughter has all the makings of a beligerent 7 year old (she's 5.)

Out of interest janh and all.. just HOW do you make them sit on a chair?

My kids seem to realise that I actually cannot force them to do anything (ie they have got me over a barrel)
So discipline that involves me 'telling' them to do something usually ends with a very defiant NO.. and then me wondering just what to do next!NDERING WHAT TO DO NEXT!

yuleicorn · 08/12/2004 21:12

apologies for strange typos there!!

blossomgoodwill · 08/12/2004 21:13

yuleicorn - My ds just doesn't have a choice. He knows his boundaries and know the consequences if he does. I don't even have to rasie my voice although as said in last post he is very laid back and can be reasoned with fairly easily so it depends on the child and there personality.

yuleicorn · 08/12/2004 21:16

oh I wish!

My 2 seem to have been born with an inbuilt sense of defiance (primarily against ME that is.. no probs at school)

MaryP0p1 · 08/12/2004 21:20

My dd has been going through a bit of stage of unacceptable behaviour. My method of dealing with it was to stop shouting at her/telling her off (she wasn't listening anyway). I would then say something like we will talk about this at home and when out I said on returning home she had to spend 5 minutes in her room for each time I had to discipline her. The first time she was in her room for 35 minutes (only 10 at most now). After that period I would speak to her why I was upset and what I would have perferred her to do and ask her to suggest her punishment. The first time she told me her friend behaved like this all the time and her Mummy didn't mind!!!!!! I told her I wasn't responisble for making sure she was a nice and happy grown up but I was responsible for dd. This is working for me but all children react differently.

Good luck!!!!!

keziah · 08/12/2004 21:20

The chair doesn't work so well with my ds 3yrs or my dd5yrs but usually I say they can choose to sit on it NOW for five minutes or I will start increasing the time. Have been known to hold them on it. At least the younger wriggly ones. Not sure it works for all though.
Its all (parenting)so much easier on a day when I have had a good sleep, don't have pmt, etc etc!

Festivepussy · 08/12/2004 21:47

Once upon a time I couldnt do the chair thing as my dd2 would have just got of and it would have been a physical fight to get her ass on the seat...staying on it wouldnt have happened at all, so I didnt try timeout on the stairs because I knew it would just end up with me having to hold her down when she was younger.
Dont know what or when but the thing in her that would have made her NOT sit where id asked switched off and she knows if she moves wiggles etc she will have to shit thier longer.
They dont laugh BTW Nutty, they cry bitterly that I am taking 2 mins of thier lifes from them so unfairly
And i only ever do it when they have been pulling hair/pushing/being vicious to each other.

singersgirl · 10/12/2004 19:11

Haven't worked out how to create a festive name. I guess I could be "singerlottacarolsgirl". Don't know if this will help but we've had a lot of success following a book called "1-2-3 Magic" by Thomas Phelan (I think - will repost if that's wrong). I got it from Amazon. It's a combination of counting and time out, and it's helped me be more consistent with my sometimes odious DS1 (6). Basically you start to count unacceptable behaviours that you want them to stop eg Sound of small boy teasing even smaller boy, Mum says "DS1, that's 1". If teasing continues Mum says "DS1, that's 2". If he still doesn't stop you say "That's 3" and they either have to do time out or another punishment (withdrawal of Pokemon cards, no TV etc) as appropriate. The first few days my son was in time out for what seemed like hours, but after a while he did stop at 1 or 2.
HTH somewhat

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