Funny things your children say

[moosh]

I love these threads, we can never have enough of them because our children are always saying mad ans funny things.
The other day, dh and I were discussing the Christams Holidays and I turned to ds1 (5yrs) and said, "You'll break up from school in a two weeks". And he replied in a very confused manner, "What did you say mummy, we have to break up the whole school in two weeks!". Dh and I sniggered and proceeded to try and explain the term "breaking up FROM school" rather than "breaking up THE school!!" Love him .
Come on mumsnetters you must have some funny ones too.

DD (2.9) and i were talking about Father 'Kismas' last night ie. if you are a good girl FC will bring you lots of presents, etc, etc (bribery and corruption!). I asked her what she would like and she said very seriously after a long pause, 'pair of trousers, pants and a new vest! - Oh and some new books!!- a girl after my own heart!! - stick that in your pipe Barbie!!! she does incidentally have quite an extensive wardrobe and not just one pair of everyhing!!!

I asked her if FC was gong to bring Mummy and Daddy presents and if so what? She said 'socks for daddy, daddy's socks got big holes in' and I will apparently be getting 'some bubbles' and some 'Kismas baugles!! (Baubles I assume) - lovely - just make sure they're diamonds!!! - some hope!

DD 2.11 hasn't quite cottoned on the the fact of xmas. Then again she usually gets almost everything she wants throughout the year... really have to stop that. What doesn't help is that her bd is 22/12! So we put the emphasis on her bd instead of xmas...

HOWEVER... she saw a gentleman in the supermarket yesterday who had a rather red nose... and yes you've probably guessed it... she loudly and proudly proclaimed 'Rudolph!!!'

and whenever she sees Santa or a picture of Santa she calles him Papa... honest DH is the father (grin)

Just stumbled across this thread i remember the funniest thing my 4 year old niece said to me when i was pregnant with ds i was violently sick in a carrier bag in the car (nice i know!) and she popped her little head round my seat and said with a great look of interest ' auntie chae did you just sick up your baby?' i laughed for ages dont you just love kids! :o

My favourite was after hearing about the Titanic, films, songs etc, DS asked "how did it sink". I replied "It hit some ice". After some thought DS asks "Did the mice squeak?"

My 5 year old DS1 told me how they were raising money at school for poor children in a particular country but couldn't remember the name of the country. A couple of hours later he came running up "Mummy I remember now, we are raising money for children in Need, the country is called Need".

Yesterday and the kids xmas party at the theatre my ds stated very loudly infront of dp's work colleuges that 'mummy was too poor for christmas presents'.. I just wanted the earth to swallow me up.. everyone had gone quiet so everyone heard him..

Oh, my friend told me that her ds had a habit of shouting out shrek everywhere.. except it didnt come out as shrek but feck... poor woman!

My dd is nearly 21 months and a few weeks ago she used the words she knew to describe a duck on the river - 'duck in bath!'

Muminlondon lol. Bless her. Atleast she managed the word duck.. could have been a bit worse!!

dont know if this belongs here mabye it should be on the most embarrasing things your kids say
or do
Anyway just spent hectic day shopping and got into the taxi with ds2 when you guessed it there was this loud fart from the back seat
there was deadly silence followed by an even louder " good arse"
Theres never a hole big enough!!!!!!!!
have no idea where he got this ...honest suspect dh may have some influence here though

hope i havent killed this thread
trust me to lower the tone !!!!!!!!

not something dd1 says but rather does... when she first came to the hospital to meet dd2 and see me - dd2 started to cry at which point dd1 put her hands over her ears. Three weeks later still does it every know and then if dd2 is giving a hearty bellow. Last week she also said no and shook her finger at the baby when she started to cry

We live on the 21st floor of a towerblock so spend a lot of our time in the lift with strangers ... hmmm, perfect place for an imaginative, chatty, 26 month old to make new friends ...

'Ooh, lady got a big fat tummy, too much cake!'

etc. etc. etc.

GS has suddenly taken to calling me Glamma (Glam-ma) - such an observant child (yeah...right!!).

dd1 (6), in the bath:

• Dad...?
• Yes?
• Do you think, if I prayed really, really hard...
• Mhm...?
• I mean, like, EVERY NIGHT...
• Er, yes...?
• Do you think that Jesus would send me a stripey toilet?
• Errr... em... no. I don't think Jesus would really do that sort of thing.
• Oh. What about God, then?
• No, I don't think God would do that, either.
• Oh. What about Santa?
• Well, it's probably more likely with Santa, but he probably wouldn't send one, either.
• Oh. (Deep sigh.) Oh, well... I'll just do it myself, then. With felt tips.

dd2 (then 2), watching me get dressed:

• Mummy...?
• Yes...?
• What are THOSE?
• Oh. Well, er... those are my... er... boobies.
• Boobies?
• Er... Yes. Boobies.
• You got boobies?
• Yes. I've got boobies.
• (Examines front with some concern.) I not got boobies?
• No. You're a little girl. Little girls don't have boobies.
• You a grown-up lady.
• That's right. I'm a grown-up lady.
• You grown-up. Grown-ups have boobies. Little girls don't have boobies. (Long pause...) I grown-up, I get boobies?
• That's right! When you grow up, you'll get boobies, too.
• (Dances around room in celebration) Hooray!!! I grow up, I get boobies! Just like Daddy!!!

rofl!!!!!!!!!

In the summer I was quite heavily pregnant with ds3. DH and I took ds1 and ds2 swimming and were all changing in the family changing rooms. DS1 (3) says to DH - 'Mummy's got a baby in her tummy. What have you got in yours?'!!

Ha ha!!

And the other day, ds1 (3) and ds2 (2) were watching dh do a wee and ds1 pipes up 'you've got a big willy haven't you daddy?'

He was well chuffed with that one!

When dd1 was 3 and dd2 was a rather noisy newborn, I overheard dd1 wearily admonishing her little sister...

"Baby K, stop crying! Or I flush you in the bin!"

DD1 (then about 4) was once sat on a bus having a good root around in her nasal passages (oh alright...picking her nose - trying to sound posh here!!) - I asked her to stop and said that she would eventually poke her brains out. She suddenly produced something on the end of her finger and proceeded to scream A BRAIN...A BRAIN for the rest of the 20 minute ride home and would not be consoled.

lol all the toilet, tummy and willy contributions!

rofl - arent kids great :) ds has also said similar lines on the boobie thing regarding dp.. as in I thouht only ladies had boobies.. bless

"mummy I have made you a suprise christmas card, but dont tell anyone as its a secret"

'well you shouldnt have told me then!"

"YES, it has a snowman on the front"

and he is practisiong for his nursery christmas carol service, i keep saying are you practising? and he says "we dont sing the ladies do it!":o