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Original poster

Funny things your children say

83 replies

moosh · 06/12/2004 14:09

I love these threads, we can never have enough of them because our children are always saying mad ans funny things.
The other day, dh and I were discussing the Christams Holidays and I turned to ds1 (5yrs) and said, "You'll break up from school in a two weeks". And he replied in a very confused manner, "What did you say mummy, we have to break up the whole school in two weeks!". Dh and I sniggered and proceeded to try and explain the term "breaking up FROM school" rather than "breaking up THE school!!" Love him Grin.
Come on mumsnetters you must have some funny ones too.

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Awenamanger · 08/12/2004 09:21

santa - lol Grin arent they so funny. My ds is at the stage of whispering everything slightly secret in his eyes in my ear. This includes any words that he might think are rude.

SantaFio2 · 08/12/2004 09:29

oh gawd and last week in a cafe he kept saying the lady was sweating and had a sweaty head because she had greasy hair Blush really makes you want the ground to swallow you up

grumpyfrumpy · 08/12/2004 09:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

supersonic · 08/12/2004 15:34

I was talking to my DD (3.5) about what she thought on having a brother or sister (not pregnant yet)and she asked if I did have a baby in my tummy woudl I still be able to carry her, I said yes then she said she didn't want me to have it in my tummy - she wanted daddy to have it in his! If only he could!

ernest · 08/12/2004 15:53

went to restaurant for Sunday dinner & ds1 fiddling with his trousers. I asked him if he needed a wee & he replied really loudly, "no, it's just my goolies are sticking together"

ds2 said to me today,"thank you for making such a nice baby (ds3). it's good you & daddy gor married isn't it?"

StNickschik · 09/12/2004 09:43

yesterday when I collected dd from nursery, she rushed up to me shouting 'Mummy, I got a bogey up my nose!' Lovely!!!

Slink · 09/12/2004 15:34

Just picked dd from pre school and she sid quite loud i asked ....(her teacher) of she farted mama she said i was a cheekie monkey. mmmm what else could she say, a rather red me left swiftly.

Countingthegreyhairs · 08/01/2008 12:24

dd (4.5 yrs):

just now "eyeballs off the table mummy"

yesterday "the three kings came from a-farm"

SpawnChorus · 08/01/2008 12:29

DD (nearly three) rather bizarrely calls her knees her 'babies' and her feet her 'mice'. e.g. if she falls over, she'll say that she's hurt her babies. And she hides her mice in shoes. No idea where it's come from. She's been doing it for nearly a year too, so it's not a temporary aberration

nimnom · 08/01/2008 12:40

We've just been to Eurodisney and ds1 (5) wasn't too keen on the Captain Hook when we saw him in the evening (he was quite an angry Hook!). At the character breakfast in the morning he was a very friendly Hook.
When ds1 was telling his grandparents abotu this he said
"In general Hook is a morning person I think"

HonoriaGlossop · 08/01/2008 13:15

aw nimnom that is fantastic Your ds will go far - what a philosopher!!

the one that springs to mind for me is when ds was 3, he came down the stairs with me one early morning, and said "AHHH, another beautiful day to be ME".

What a way to think about life, I wish I thought that way!

JonesTheSteam · 08/01/2008 13:18

DS told my Dad that DH could lift cars.

Eventually we worked out that he'd heard DS say that he would give a work colleague a lift to work in his car.

And before Christmas he came home and proudly informed me that he'd made a radiator in school.

Eventually realised that he meant a reindeer

Blu · 08/01/2008 13:23

Just before christmas, me, chatting to DS trying to get him to calm down and go to sleep:
me: Did you know? today was the shortest day of the year!
DS (indignantly) Well, no wonder I'm not tired, then!

My neighbour's two-year-old the other night:
"we're having Dalek bread for our tea" (garlic bread)

BritTex · 08/01/2008 13:27

First day back at school yesterday, the teacher was talking about and encouraging New Years resolutions. When ds (5) was asked what his resolutions was he said he was going to help mummy.....
play his new ninja turtles video game!

BritTex · 08/01/2008 13:32

oh! got one one more..

I unwrapped a glo stick that DS had got in his stocking. it was not the best quality and did not light up very much. I muttered under my breath .. "God this is crappy".

"no it's not Mummy SANTA MADE IT"!!!

OOPS [BLUSH]

TheRedQueen · 08/01/2008 13:51

Staying at my brother's house, I was just getting dressed when my sister-in-law told my nephew (then three years old) to tell me breakfast was ready. He put his head round the door, saw me putting my bra on and shouted to his mother "She's nearly ready. She's just putting her boobs on".

Also, the other night my DD (2.5) suddenly shouted for me to come to her room. On going in, I found her in tears saying "Jamas not working! Jamas not working!". On closer examination, I found she had taken her pyjama bottoms off and then put them back on .... with both legs in one leg hole!

sb6699 · 08/01/2008 13:52

My DD1 (age 3) has gorgeous red curly hair.

She loves fairies, princesses, etc, etc and so one night when she was in the bath washing her hair I told her she was just like a princess with her long golden hair.

She said "no, I'm not, I'm like Goldilocks and the Three Bears"

shortshafe · 08/01/2008 13:58

When I was heavily pregnant my god daughter, aged 5 was examining my huuuge stretch marks - I explained that the baby was making my skin stretch and it made funny marks, but they'd go away when the baby was born (I wish). Her 6 year old sister came into the room and shouted "you're tummy's going to grow and grow until it splits open, and thats how the baby gets out? Yuck!" We had told the girls previously exactly how babies come out - so no idea what she was thinking!

Shout · 08/01/2008 14:44

My son wanted to go back to the 'Vegetable' ??? you know Mummy where we went last week.

He ment to the festival.

He also thinks milk comes from cows and sauages from pigs ( out of their bottoms) I have corrected this misunderstanding.

On holiday he was must put out that the Sheraton Suites hotel we stayed in didn't have sweets for him to eat. Not even a chocolate on the pillow.

MarkStretch · 08/01/2008 14:48

DD(5) decided her New Years Resolution was 'to accessorise'.

She also said to me this morning 'Mum you are so fat, look when I poke your bum cheek it's like my finger is on a giant trampoline.'

MarkStretch · 08/01/2008 14:48

I'm not that fat.

themildmanneredjanitor · 08/01/2008 14:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fryalot · 08/01/2008 14:51

not out of their bottoms, though MMJ (at least I hope not )

dd2 said today that she wanted to use the phone to ring the lady. I asked her which lady, she said "the lady who says 'the number you have dialed has not been recognised, please check and try again'"

methinks she has been using the phone when I am not in the room

MarkStretch · 08/01/2008 14:52

lol squonk

LittleB · 08/01/2008 15:44

dd (2.7) sings 'Jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way, on that farm....'?!
Her hat fell down over her eyes the other day and she says 'I can't see my eyes' - had us in stitches.
They also did a pre school nativity and another girl was asked what she wanted for christmas, she replied 'fishfingers', that'd make for a cheap stocking.
dd also does the 'look fat lady', and the confused 'lady?man?lady?' when she's not sure, mortifying if they can hear!
She also thinks that I go to work to be a reindeer (I'm a Ranger) i think she's now sussed out that I don't actually work for father christmas but still says it and giggles lots!
I love these threads.