Funny things your children say

[moosh]

I love these threads, we can never have enough of them because our children are always saying mad ans funny things.
The other day, dh and I were discussing the Christams Holidays and I turned to ds1 (5yrs) and said, "You'll break up from school in a two weeks". And he replied in a very confused manner, "What did you say mummy, we have to break up the whole school in two weeks!". Dh and I sniggered and proceeded to try and explain the term "breaking up FROM school" rather than "breaking up THE school!!" Love him .
Come on mumsnetters you must have some funny ones too.

I let my DD(2.5) take her dolls pram with her this morning when we dropped her brothers at school, she stopped just outside the school gates and leant on the handle and then stayed there. Here's our conversation;

Me: Come on poppet lets go now its a bit cold outside, we should go home where its cosy and warm.

DD: (slowly raising fingers to lips and sighing) I'm having a sighaget(sic).

A moment or two later...
Me: (glancing about and feeling relieved that no one is in earshot). Are you ready now?

DD: Er no, I haven't finished my sigahet yet.

(slowly walks around to front of push chair and tucks in doll at the top of her teetering pile of 'children' whilst kissing its cheek and dropping (imaginairy) ash on its blanket).

There you go love you're all cosy and warm now.

Me: O dear you musn't let your children breathe your smoke. It will amke them cough and they'll be poorly.

DD: (rolling eyes theatrically) I'm just pretending mummy.... can we do face painting now? (starts to push pile of children towards home)

My DS1 has got his phrases all mixed up and tells me frequently that e is "Up to mystery...." with a furtive look on his face and a seretive smile.

I love "up to mystery"- think I might start using that myself!

DS who's just turned three, recently said "Mummy I wish you were a little girl at my nursery"

Now I know that's not funny in a "tee hee" sort of way but it did make my heart break a little bit at the comedy of ds wanting me to be his age just so we could spend more time together- and

DD1 (age 3) is always itching to get her hands on my "flaptop" to "do some work like Mammy". Work? Hmm. Bless her in her ignorance.

I was once on holiday with my sister and her kids,my niece was sat looking at the see and said
'who puts the water in the manager'
and later eating water melon
'do they put the seeds in for fancy'
bless her

oops sea

My mum took DD to the beach for the first time when she was about 3.

DD Look, Granny! They have got the waves on!!

She had only seen waves at the swimming baths until then, they switch them on every half hour.

dd is fascinated by my "nibbles"...named by function...

ah bless, you never forget these comments.

We saw a woodpecker out of the bathroom window, on the tree opposite.

DS told his dad about it this morning...

HE said:

"We saw a coconut in the tree in the bathroom"

woodpecker / coconut

dd: "why do octapus's need 8 testicles"

good question, though!

My 5 yr old dd said last night, as she got out of the bath, "hurry up daddy, I'm freezing my nuts off here".

We didn't know what to say, just laughed hysterically later. Where did that come from?

ds was finishing his yogurt with his pink spoon so I stood up to put the plates on the side in the kitchen

ds: mummy, can I have the green spoon please?
me: OK, but what's wrong with the pink spoon?
ds: pink one's not working, look

He'd caught the spoon under the edge of the yogurt pot and it'd flicked a whole spoon of yogurt all up the side of his face and in his hair...

I finally found out last night who "Little Mac Manners" that DS2 comes home from school talking about is. It's his reception supply teacher, Mrs McMannus.

DS sitting at table when DH and I are upstairs...

" I'm abandonned I'm abandonned" he's 3.

and yesterday,

"mummy I can't eat the peas, they're my sweethearts,a dn they don't have mummy's so I'm loking after them"

haha i love these threads always make me laugh.
eating dinner today was having chicken and salad. i'd bought a ready bag mixed salad thing, as i was eating, dd22months pipes up nice flowers mummy?
bless some of the leaves do look a bit like flower leaves lol

DS said to DH the other day, whe DH was having a wee.... "daddy shall I wipe your willy?"

Bloody hell, child abuse!!

Our frog died recently and when ds1(2.9) asked where he was,I said he had magically disappeared.He then looked at me with a very straight face and said 'Are you sure mummy.I think you are pulling my leg'.
Made me laugh.

sorry but rotfl pmsl at this By Bubbaloo on Fri 07-Mar-08 22:57:16
Our frog died recently and when ds1(2.9) asked where he was,I said he had magically disappeared.He then looked at me with a very straight face and said 'Are you sure mummy.I think you are pulling my leg'.
Made me laugh.

Can i nominate this for quote of the week

"our frog died recently" > You know, as they do!

Just don't ask me HOW it died.

DP had gone to the toilet, DD started to follow, i said, where are you going, she replied "to see daddy's bum"!!!!

now you HAVE to tell me!!!

Ok.

'Kermit'lived in with our goldfish which dh cleans out.He recently went to clean them out but he jumped out of the net and down the plughole in the kitchen sink.Dh checked the drains and unscrewed the u bend but it was nowhere to be seen.
I am now having nightmares and convincing myself that he's going to pop up somewhere,that all the plugs are permantly wedged in their plug holes.

When I told dh he should've been more careful,he told me he didn't think it was going to jump.