Stairs - when do you let them go up/down on their own?

[northstar]

I am trying but find it very difficult to let ds go up and down the stairs by himself. He is 2yrs 7mths. He can, and wants to but I have to go with him because he just doesnt pay attention - but is that because he knows I am there to catch him (or because he's a male? I just wondered am I being over-protective or is he too young?

oh, second time this w/end MN has made me realise I'm a lax mum! DS has always been up & down the stairs on his own - we took down the stairgates when he was 18 months, partly cos we were bored with always having to be there for him. I wish he would go up & down on his own more often - generally he insists on being on the same floor as us (and he won't run errands up the stairs to daddy!)

besides which, in your condition you wouldn't want to be catching him!

my stairgate is always down now. dd can climb up and down fine (although im still a bit watchful when she comes down on her own) but ive put it down because she only goes up if i go. she'll always stay down stairs. she gets very upset when i go up without her, so i like her to feel she has the choice of whether to follow me, or to stay put. she usually stays put (dont blame her! its quite tiring climbing up and down )

Not a lax mum, just encouraging independance IMHO.
Its just getting that push, gritting your teeth and letting them do it isnt it. You naturally want to protect them from harm and the stairs are the place where a great deal of harm can be done if they fall. But then how will they gain thier independance and confidence if you are always over their shoulder....its a tough one.

OMG! I AM an overprotective mother
It is because of my pg that i am asking as last night i was behind ds walking up the stairs and he suddenly just launched himself backwards and i wasnt really prepared to catch him. It really hurt my back. So if i let him up and down by himself i wont be arrested?

You daft thing! IMO there is no such thing as an over protective mother, you are doing what you feel is right and safe and in NO way is that wrong. Dont be so hard on yourself.

SO sorry, i just read my other post over and it reads in no way how i meant it when i wrote it IYKWIM.
What i meant was i am struggling with similar issues regarding safety. I was thinking out loud and asking those things as questions rather than making them as statements. SORRY XXXXXX

thanx donbean, I am going to stand at the bottom and let him go up himself. I'll have to keep the stairgates up for a while though (for ME to get used to it, not him) I really hate the overprotective mummys - yesterday i took ds to the mini farm and a mother was shouting hysterically SHHHH! SHHHH! NO SUDDEN MOVEMENTS! to a bunch of 3,4 and 5yr olds that were looking at a deer fgs.

You do what you feel happy with, northstar. That way you are bound to be a good Mum! But maybe your scare last night was telling you that you need to be looking after yourself as well as ds. Remember that your centre of balance will shift as your bump grows, and you don't want to be sent flying!

ps db absolutely no apology necessary i liked your post it was what i wanted to hear

If you are any thing like me you will let him go up those stairs and will stand at the bottom with your teeth SO gritted you will have face ache by the time he reaches the top!! Good luck.

fisil sometimes i worry that i'll be like the mum in the Ready Brek advert that has her school-going ds in REINS

HEheheheheheh

I don't have any bannisters so I couldn't imagine taking the gate down at 18 months. But I may have to when selling the house cos I want to move furniture and the gate is attached to a shelf unit which is attached to the wall. Maybe I'll just spend all day out of the house!

I find that the journey upstairs is far less dangerous than the downward trip. My ds is the same age as yours, and goes up and down alone, but when he comes down, he comes down on his bottom, one step at a time. This is working well.

we never had stairgates as we have extremely narrow georgian stairs. therefore ds has always been very proficient going up & down stairs 'cos he had to be! he's almost 3 now, & has definitely been running up & down stairs for at least a year by himself. he loves doing errands, it's fabulous!

We moved from a one-level house to a house with stairs when my baby was 15 months old and never bothered with a stairgate. At first she would just crawl up and down, now she walks no problem (she's 2y8m). Just make sure you teach him to go downstairs backwards and feet first.

my ds is now 20 months and goes up and down the stairs confidently (although he has had a one fall which scared the life out of me) but i tend to go down the stars without him and wants to come down so he crawled backwards at first but now he walks down holding onto the banister rails i don't know if there is a specific age that they are ready but i'm sure that if you give him the confidence he will try and you just have to be there incase he loses his balance ds's been going up and down stairs since about 14 months he's been trying to tackle those stairs and it can't be heart wrenching as they get higher up the stairs but it's also rewarding not to mention a big relief when they make it.

oh dear. well I don't believe in stairgates (because I always fall over them - can't walk up/down stairs and open gates at the same time!) so my children always learn to use stairs early. My 14mth old is now completely reliable on the stairs - he learnt to approach them backwards from about 11 months and now either crawls up or walks up holdig the bannister, and scoots down them backwards half crawling half sliding. We have both big, shallow main stairs with good bannisters and steeper narrower back stairs with just a handrail. I do keep half an eye on him going down stairs but he mostly clambers around the house on his own after his siblings without much problem

certainly all mine negotiated stairs completely unsupervised by 2.

There is no right or wrong age IMO - its just when they are ready and you will know when this is. Can't you drill your son to always hold the bannisters when he comes down?

I would of thought he would be quite capable at that age. You have to loose the reins at some point!

Question : how do you teach a child to go down backward ? No problem for ds for go up the stairs even if we are still behind him ... just in case but I haven't manage to teach him to go down. Each time that I turm him round, he is going up !
Any idea ?

Not trying to hijack this thread, however, I'm so impressed by all these little ones using the stairs. I seem to remember all mine doing it by themselves from around 18 months or so. However, grandson is just over 23 months and the idea of him and the stairs terrifies me. Our stairs to the first floor are very steep and each individual step is higher than on an average staircase. The stairs to the second floor are more 'normal'. His co-ordination is not yet as good as my other 3's were. He regularly slips when he's crawling upstairs, because he gets giddy and excited when he's pleased with himself. He likes to run up the landing from his room to ours and our doorway is slap-bang next to the top of the stairs.
I daren't take away the safety gates - now I'm wondering if I'm overprotective.

Afraid I am Very Bad Mummy who never got round to stairgates - in fact the only stairgate we have is on our kitchen door. DD2 whizzes up and down.

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