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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

First period - something to celebrate?

233 replies

DarthVader · 29/12/2007 18:35

I am making plans with my 8 year old about how we will celebrate her first period! How did other people celebrate this milestone with their daughters?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

AbbeyA · 30/12/2007 19:59

Probably the sizeable proportion of women who choose to remain childless would prefer not to have periods at all-so why celebrate?

Bluestocking · 30/12/2007 20:00

My memories of starting my periods - it was around Christmas, possibly during the holidays but if not then over a weekend, because I was at home. I was fourteen and knew all about periods, my mum was very frank about bodily functions and most of my pals had already started. Went to the loo, found blood, thought "oh, my periods have started" and went to ask my mum for a pad - didn't fancy trying out a tampon. No big deal, no drama.

cheechymunchy · 30/12/2007 20:08

Actually, I remember the moment with much fondness. Just so happened that only me, mum and her mum were in the house. I called downstairs from the toilet, they knocked politely, didn't ask to see the "evidence", and congratulated on me on becoming a woman. It was a private moment between three generations of women, all of whom now knew what lay ahead.
I know that sounds sentimental, but it was perfect for me. No cakes, ear piercings, spas, just a secret celebration between us.

fuzzywuzzy · 30/12/2007 20:13

I think it's a really good thing your discussing and normalising periods to your little girl at this age, I got mine at age just turned ten, I'm really surprised that their dont appear to be many mroe mner's who got theirs around that age, I wasnt the only girl in my class who got her period before leaving primary school, by then end most girls were using staff toilets as the girls didn't have sanitary bins in them!!!

I like the idea of jewelery....actually even once I had got my first period, it was still exciting, and I remeber being utterly fascinated by the different sanpro options, does anyone else remeber the tiny little boxes that tampax used to do to hold your tampons in they were so cute...yes yes this holiday has gone on far too long I'm clearly stark staring bonkers..........

Original poster

DarthVader · 30/12/2007 20:14

That sounds great.

My mum bought me a little something (don't remember what exactly) which I thought was a slightly odd thing to do at the time (as she had also described it as more of a curse than a blessing). I would have been delighted with a BIG PRESENT though

OP posts:

chenin · 30/12/2007 20:16

Perfect cheecymunchy... that is just the way it should be! Also Headgirls post a while back was spot on.

Every DD is different... you have to wait till they tell you and see how they are about it. I have 2 DDs... one was matter of fact about it and did NOT want a fuss except a big hug from me with tears in my eyes cos my DD2 had reached yet another stage of growing up!

DD1 was a bit more chatty about it.. and we went shopping together and I bought her shoes or a top (can't remember which!)

For those on here who are talking about a meal out with all the family to celebrate... I am hoping that is a joke. When you are 10-15 yrs old (or whatever...!) do you really want to talk periods with your brother, granny, aunt or whatever. No, No, No... please don't do that - you will scar the child for life I think!

FrannyandZooey · 30/12/2007 20:56

"Probably the sizeable proportion of women who choose to remain childless would prefer not to have periods at all-so why celebrate?"

lots of us don't hate having periods, or even dislike it

I think there is a lot of projection going on here

AbbeyA · 30/12/2007 22:55

I think that we could project here-there are lots of women who don't want children and they are not going to be represented on this thread because they are unlikely to even look at Mumsnet.

Twinklemegan · 30/12/2007 23:17

After reading this thread I'm very glad I have a son.

My memory of starting my periods is pretty vague, but I was rather late at ?15 and I just remember feeling really mortified and embarrassed. I can't remember what my mum had said to me before or what she said at the time. But the thought of the whole thing makes me cringe to this day.

I haven't had a particularly happy experience with womanhood. Yes I have finally managed to produce a son, but my body hasn't half put me through the mill to get there, which is why I'm really glad I won't have to explain all this to a daughter. Good luck to you all!

brimfull · 31/12/2007 00:49

when my dd started her periods she was very laid back and quite shy about it,but secretly she was pleased.

I'm trying to persuade her to try a mooncup now but she still reluctant.Says emptying it at school would be too awkward.

I would celebrate the day she agrees with me about how fab the mooncup is.

Twinklemegan · 31/12/2007 00:51

So, mooncups. For someone who was never able to use tampons, and amazingly still can't even after giving birth to an 8lb baby, I'm guessing a mooncup would be out of the question. Would I be right? Are they, erm, big?

brimfull · 31/12/2007 00:56

well they come in two sizes

here

If you've pushed a baby out you will beable to get a mooncup up.

Twinklemegan · 31/12/2007 00:57

Are they easier than tampons then? (sorry for stupid questions)

Twinklemegan · 31/12/2007 00:58

Ooh - the picture looks pretty terrifying!

brimfull · 31/12/2007 01:10

they are fab

easier ,well they take getting used to ,then they are easy.
they look terrifying but read the website.

Definitely worth a try,I love it,makes periods so much easier.

foofi · 31/12/2007 08:43

I struggle to use my mooncup sometimes because I think I 'ought' to, environmentally etc, but I really prefer tampons. And I certainly wouldn't try to get my daughter to use one - it was difficult enough starting to use tampons as a teenager, but I could never have managed a mooncup (it's difficult enough after two births).

FrannyandZooey · 31/12/2007 10:47

I found very easy to get used to - at least as easy as a tampon

the joy of never having to feel that awful dry dragging as you remove a tampon towards the end of your period

they are so clean and simple, and have made me feel tons better about the whole menstrual cycle - it is something interesting and natural, rather than something offensive that leaves distasteful bits of rubbish to be disposed of

Tortington · 31/12/2007 10:57

in reply to the op:

no one told me about periods and i thought i was going to die, my mum sent me to the shop gave me a note for pe AND was basically a get on with it dont mention it the pads are hidden behind the boiler - we dont have them in sight - twas all hush hush and trez rubbish.

so i have vowed not to have this hush hush approach to sex and bodies like my mum becuase all it got me was fear and stupidity.

my daughter knew about periods as did my sons since they were small after i came out with some pads in a paper bag from local shop and the kids thought i had sweets and i hd to show them what i had - a discussion ensued and that was that

as my dd got older i always told her that when she starts her period - to celebrate her becoming a woman we must go out and buy her expensive new outfir

she loved this idea and even asked me when it was going to start - she was looking forward to it - yay!

so she did when she was about 12 and we went shopping - she got new outfit

i let her have day of school and use of the computer whilst i had to go to london for a meeting.

i told her to look up everything she could - i also told her that if she went on the websited of some of the manufacturers that sometimes they give free samples and they will come through the post - this was a small novelty but she enjoyed it and it entied her to use the internet to gain more knowledge

the only hiccough was - she rang me whilst i was on the train surrounded by people with suits and biefcases and said " mum i am not getting much luck searching periods is there another word?"
"menstuation" i said quietly

"mum,....how do you spell it?"

shit! christ - ah fuck it
"m....e...n...s...t.."

Original poster

DarthVader · 31/12/2007 17:47

custy I love your story!

OP posts:

SpawnChorus · 31/12/2007 19:53

custy -

Twinklemegan · 31/12/2007 23:13

I'm thinking if I can't do tampons I'm not likely to have much luck with a mooncup. All that stuff about staying relaxed etc. - it just doesn't work for me .

arionater · 01/01/2008 16:37

Twinkle - I had exactly the same problem, couldn't use tampons for years and years (I started my periods when I was 11, didn't try tampons for a bit, and my mother just kept telling me I wasn't 'relaxing' enough); eventually I saw a doctor when I was 17 and they did a really minor operation which helped a bit but not very much. I do use them now but still find it difficult, and I think I'd struggle with a mooncup too. Please ignore if it's way too private a question, but did you find sex difficult too or was that OK? I'm never really sure whether it's basically a psychological thing (but those muscles aren't really under conscious control which is why 'relaxing' doesn't make much difference) or whether I was just 'small' or a bit of both . . . Oh no I'm really really embarrassed now - but still, I wish my mother had known this could be a problem rather than dismissing my concerns when I was a teenager!

moondog · 01/01/2008 18:01

Help our sister out will you girls?

(MB, you have had me nearly wetting myself with laughter in the past at the red cord and dancing on the mountaintop story!)

motherinferior · 01/01/2008 18:11

I think a piece of jewellery is a really nice idea.

Some things are biological and - yes - elemental and all. Like sex. And childbirth.

Oh, and my daughters - certainly my older one, who's not quite seven - know about periods and about how it's the body's lining for a baby to grow, and all. I've told them sometimes you get a tummyache, but played down the less enjoyable stuff because I really, really don't want it to come across as all Curse of Eve-ish.

moondog · 01/01/2008 18:23

I my boarding schhol, it was referred to in a very matter of fact way as 'the curse'. Awful really, looking bACK.

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