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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Are 3-year-olds a nightmare or am I just a crap mother?

75 replies

madamez · 17/12/2007 17:40

DS is now 3 and I don't think we get through a sinlge day without a meltdown of some kind. He whines, he mills rond my legs, he refuses to do what he's told, he makes simulataneous contradictory requests and then just screams...
OK there are plenty of times when he's cute and funny and cuddly but sometimes I am just so tired and grouchy that I don't know what to do.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

cherryredretrochick · 17/12/2007 17:46

you are not a crap mum, you are the best mum you can be and toddlers are sent to try us. not very helpful but full sympathy.

lailasmum · 17/12/2007 17:48

I think three year olds are harder than the so called terrible twos. We never experienced terrible twos with DD but at three she has been hard work. Quite emotional, making lots of contradicatory requests as you have mentioned and generally being super into everything so needs constant stimulation or activities. I have spoken to others about this and they have all said that they experienced this to some extent when their child was three.

I guess realistically they are growing and changing so much at the moment it must be hard on their minds and bodies. I know my daughter has grown physically masses this past year, It must be knackering.

Magrat · 17/12/2007 17:48

3 year olds is the worst

sympathies

but it is a phase

consistent responses help

handlemecarefully · 17/12/2007 17:48

Yes I think mostly they are a nightmare

Mikamakamoo · 17/12/2007 17:53

def a nightmare (see thread about 3 year old not growing up!) and def not crap mother. You have my empathy and sympathy and much solidarity!

LetsAllHaveSomePIGGYpudding · 17/12/2007 18:02

My dh tried to negotiate with our 3 year old ds1 the other day when ds1 wanted me or dh to get into his bed at 3am. Snort. I told him that he would have had more luck negotiating with terrorists.

LowFat · 17/12/2007 18:05

Terrible Twos are a myth or an urban legend. Its the terrifying threes to beware of!

You are not a crap mum

WanderingHolly · 17/12/2007 18:11

They are called threenagers.

DennytwasNewYear · 17/12/2007 18:20

My DD has been a mare since delivery with the occ good day, shes 6 in April, what dosent kill us makes us stronger.

cherryredretrochick · 17/12/2007 18:22

Denny at least you won't notice when she becomes a teenager.

MrsJohnCuSackFullOfPresents · 17/12/2007 18:22

oh shit mine has just turned 3
signs are so far that it is worse than 2

I think it may be their aim in life to make us feel like crap mothers. that's what I'm telling myself, anyway....

Mikamakamoo · 17/12/2007 18:26

I agree Mjcsfop, tho I think it is his aim in life to also make nursery think I am a crap mother!

paulaplumpbottom · 17/12/2007 18:27

He sounds normal and its normal for you to feel this way. They do grow out of this and will go back to being sweet and loveable

motherinferior · 17/12/2007 18:31

Both of mine were completely maddening between around two and a half and three and a half.

They are now four and a half and nearly seven, and really quite delightful. And I speak as someone who doesn't find parenthood all that easy.

Original poster

madamez · 17/12/2007 19:44

THaks so much for all the support I keep reminding myself of all the nice times we have and trying to remember that I love him to bits, but it's not always easy when I'm carting a roaring toddler up the road and getting looked at by people... Oh well I keep telling myself that next year will bebetter (doesn't help that we are v broke and I have a bad back which makes me ratty too...)

OP posts:

MrsJohnCuSackFullOfPresents · 17/12/2007 22:31

well I think my farkaboo toting, tiny baby owning neighbour thinks we are vile in this house, she seems to always manage to pop up when I am roaring at DD for running out of the gate, or crawling under the car , or any of the other hilarious things she comes up with to make getting us all into the car such fun
she just gives me Looks. and I think, wait until your lovely tiny baby turns into a toddler. mine was an angel all the time once too

ggirlsbells · 17/12/2007 22:44

Ds was truly vile at times,lots of times actually, when he was 3.

This will pass.I find gin helps a lot.

lovecamping · 17/12/2007 22:47

my 2.5yr has been like what you have described since she was 2yrs old.... i am a crap mum and just try to treasure, remember and praise the nice moments as much as i can.... i think its a good day, if i can do this twice a day iykwim. i'm hoping she'll calm down once she starts nursery/preschool/school/grow out of it.

KITTYmaspudding · 17/12/2007 22:49

Yes 2-3 is my most hated age. There are lots of lovely things about them and they can be so endearing BUT they drive you bonkers.
My nearly 2 year old is already well down the road of stroppiness but she is reasonably bidable atm, we'll see though!

DontCallMeSantaBaby · 17/12/2007 22:58

I like 3 better than anything that came before ... but 3 is also driving me slowly but surely absolutely no doubt about it right round the proverbial twist. Being verbal is sometimes great, but in the form of asking the same question using a made-up word OVER AND OVER AGAIN? Then screaming and kicking things when I don't know what on earth you're talking about? On the flipside, wordless crying is much more annoying in a child who actually has a huge and sophisticated vocabulary than it is in a baby or tiny toddler. SPEAK TO ME! Then again, when the speaking to me consists of telling me 'you don't give me anything' on a day when child has been taken to see Father Christmas and bought a new (pink) coat and utterly ridiculous fluffy earmuffs? Oh, there was crying and shrieking that day, and I was DRIVING when it was all going on.

I am trying desparately to remember I am only doing this once, and in barely more than eight months she will go to school and I will lose her forever ... but oh, the whinging. If it didn't grind you down they wouldn't do it.

Janni · 17/12/2007 23:01

If you're in any way tired or stressed they can be monstrous.

Pretend you're a playgroup leader. Very firm and no nonsense but with a little song up her sleeve for the sticky moments and a lovely way with scissors and string..

Today I nearly chucked my 3 year old's new scooter in the bin after she screamed like a banshee whenever her 7 year old brother stepped near it.

Bauble99 · 17/12/2007 23:03

This too shall pass.

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 17/12/2007 23:06

You know why we hate it when they're three???

Their world is much more exciting, and we can't join it, we have to keep trying to drag them back into our world, often kicking and screaming because well, things have to be done!

Ds is three just after xmas, he is exactly the same, and I just cannot be bothered to make everything a game everytime, works bloody well when I do, he is really quick when we 'race' and as soon as I get a mischievious glint in my eye (even over tidying his room, or going to bed) he will do exactly what I say, but, sometimes I just want him to listen when I talk to him normally fgs, is that so much to ask???

MrsJohnCuSackFullOfPresents · 17/12/2007 23:08

mine screams at her baby brother whenever he cries (Which, considering as he is cutting yet another bloody tooth, is a LOT). then of course he screams back, she screams, etc. etc. etc......

am also feeling better knowing that it's not just me.

TinyTimLivesinVictorianSqualor · 17/12/2007 23:12

Scream with them

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