I HAVE TO DO AN ESSAY ABOUT SMACKING CHILDREN.....TELL ME YOUR OPINIONS PLEASE

[fawkeoff]

i am doing an essay about the smacking law and want to know the peoples pros and cons, if you think that the law should be changed....should it be banned or should it be slacker.i would appreciate if you could give me personal experiences as well

I think hitting children in any way teaches them that violence is a way of resolving problems and also that it's okay to vent your anger on someone else.

I would never smack or hit my daughter however much of a little sod she is sometimes.

I think it should be banned completely as it's illegal to hit adults yet we don't protect the most precious and vulnerable in our society - the children.

Watch me get flamed now. Putting on my teflon knickers and running.

just search the archives here ! there is plenty of material

An essay, ah I see..

Smacking happens out of temper, it is very rarely a well thought out piece for discipline.

I don;t think children should be smacked - I have smacked mine on the bum a handful of times and always regret it - it doesn't really solve anything or help the situation to be honest. I'm not sure about whether it should be banned to the point where you get arrested in the street but it should def be discouraged and alternatives suggested - if people feel it is a problem for them - they shoud be offered parenting courses.

i want every opinion possible.....i want to do this essay justice.does anyone else think that the "you can smack but dont leave a mark" is ridiculous???? isnt it harder to see bruises on a child with darker skin????

seriously i am doing an essay for english a college MUMFOR1.

and I agree with colditz - although telling a child they are going to get smacked if they do/don't do something is different

i think smacking is wrong, i have never smacked and only bad parents with no other form of control smack.

i also never swear

you are such an effin liar

My 7 month old has a black eye at the moment due to an unfortunate incident in his backpack - I am mortified and it does worry me that people would think I hit him - although obviously I never would. I don't think their are any grounds whatsoever for smacking babies.

anyone have personal reasons for not smacking them

the you can smack but dont leave a mark is plainly politicians playing a balancing act between the staunch right wing of the country - which is not like mumsnet - who are basically liberal hippies( ( grin) said with love..peace...man.)

so i believe and i think that this can be backed up by gutter national press like the mirror or the star or the sun - especiallythe sun - you can just see the headlines - and wonder if you could research some - or ask mumsnetters to show you an example of? "mother jailed for smacking " followed by some trash journalism that would basically say that the country is going to shit becuase we can't even be allowed to discipline our own childrena nymore.

so my point - the politicians are afraid of the press and haven't got the balls to push it through properly

its bullshit - either smacking should be banend or it shouldnt.

before i had children i though smacking was probably ok but when i had my own, my views changed completely. In my six years as a parent i have not had a reason to smack either of my children - when they wind me up I can see that my behaviour/the situation is as responsible, and that smacking wont help at all - and may make it worse.

My concern is that laws are probably made by people who mean well but dont have a great deal to do with children day to day and may be basing their ideas on their vague memory of when they were a kid

I don't smack and I feel that there are generally better ways to discipline my child. However...

I think that every child is different and that what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another and vice versa. I was smacked as a child and I am not emotionally scarred from it (we're talking a tap here not a thrashing with an implement). I remember far more vividly the times I was severely shouted a - the feelings of rejection that I felt afterwards.

In the past 20 years or so the way children behave in society has deteriorated rapidly, and we are now in this "you can't touch me" culture, and I can't help wondering whether there is a link between that and the change in attitudes towards smacking.

it's about the rights of the child versus the rights of the parents
in the UK there is a wide body of people (DM readers) who believe that it is their right to decide how they discipline their children smacking never harmed me blah blah blah the fatal flaw in their argument is that if smacking worked as a behaviour measure you would only have to do it once and then the child wouldn't engage in said behaviour again as whacking them would be such a good deterrent

then there is the sane view that teaching your child that it is acceptable for someone much larger and heavier than them to hit them when they don't agree with them is wrong
imho smacking is the product of frustration and poor parenting

children should be protected from assault in the same way that adults are BUT the biggest problem is enforcement, a law banning smacking is impossible to enforce so ipso facto is a waste of time

I was smacked as a child and i remember it well and it certainly didn't stop me engaging in behaviour again and was unpleasant
my mum had three under 4 and she freely admits that her parenting skills weren't up to much when we were small hence smacking

ihave smacked my dd before, ichoose not to do this anymore, how can i discipline her for hurting another child if i am hurting her????.

i think that in most situations there are other ways of disciplinging a child

i dont think a parent should be jailed or fined or whatever for smacking their child - the problem is that the parent wouldnot know other techniques to use.

therefore my solution would be parenting classes for all - not just poor stereotypes - not just through Sure Start government funded centres - but to all.

its wrong and it should be illegal.

parents should be given unquestioning support to help learn other strategies to deal with difficult behaviour.

i have found myself pushed to the limits of my imagination and have had to fight hard not to resort to using my physical power over them.

using violence against children can never achieve anything but the perpetuation of more violence.

i want my children to do as i ask out of respect, not fear. i want them to behave well because its right, not to avoid a smack.

keep it comin ladies i wll give you all credit for my A*

i think they key is that this is being presented as a choice.

the choice of the parent to smack or not - the choice to discipline the child this way.

i believe it is not a choice - it is ignorance

true choice would be to assess any given situation and wonder whether it warrented a smack, or time out or a diversion or a sharp word or a soft word

i truly believe that there isn't this choice to some people who do not have the bredth of parenting techniques. therefore i think it is a misnomer to present it this way. - dya get me?

"the fatal flaw in their argument is that if smacking worked as a behaviour measure you would only have to do it once and then the child
wouldn't engage in said behaviour again as whacking them would be such a good deterrent.". But couldn't you apply that to any form of discipline? time-out? confiscation of toys/privilages? whichever form of discipline you use, if the child repeats the behavior again then does that mean that form of discipline is not working? Imo that argument is flawed also because children will push the boundaries, and often it takes time to realize that unacceptable really does mean unacceptable whichever method of discipline you use.

I personally do not smack my child and I do believe that there are more effective ways of disciplining as smacking is often not thought through, but I do believe that all children respond differently to different forms of discipline, and I know parents who have used smacking as a last resort when all else has failed and that has been the only thing that has worked.

If you banned smacking would you say then that the children for whom only that form of punishment has any effect should go undisciplined?

Is it wrong to believe it is your right to decide how to discipline your child? Is it not your right? Are you not, in effect, saying "You can discipline however you think best - as long as you think just like me!"?

My argument is that if you smacked an adult you would end up in court, so how can it be OK to smack someone who is a physically smaller, more vulnerable person and who depends on you for all their physical and emotional needs. Also, quite rightly, school and nursery teachers are not allowed to smack, so how can it ever be justifiable for parents to do so?

I could have done with parenting classes for ds1, but wouldn't have gone because the only ones round here are social services referred Surestart ones. Don't fancy coming under the SS Spotlamp, thanks.

Custy is right, parenting classes for ALL.