What do you do with a 4 year old who is incredubky stubborn?

[NAB3littlemonkeys]

Aaaarggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Mmmmm.... I honestly can't tell whether or not you're joking.

Eh? I am not joking. The kids had been really obnoxious so their Dad cancelled Christmas. They are being given marbles for good behaviour and if they fill up thir jars they can have Christmas.

Well if you're prepared to carry it out, then fair enough. Can't help thinking you'll be fixing the results though.

Didn't even cross my mind to fix it. What would be the point? The kids would know if they were near the top or not. Not enough marbles equals no Christmas.

Well I hope things improve for you and for their sakes too. I don't think any child could ever be bad enough to have Christmas taken away from them. It kind of goes against the whole spirit of Christmas, IMO, but good luck to you.

I can't see how saying that Christmas will only happen if you fill up your marble jar is any different to saying Santa won't bring you any toys unless you're good. Same thing.
NAB did you ask your dd what was wrong and what it was that she wanted? Most times young children just assume that mum or dad will just know what the problem is and have a magic remedy. (hmmm not always just the younger ones). Also, she might not know sometimes what she wants. My 4yo sometimes gets herself het up about things and we have to calm her down, sometimes we just have to ride it out. It's not as if they are doing these things out of malice and a lot of it they grow out of anyway. With mine a lot of the time giving attention has resolved the situation. If there's not really any time for that then the child just has to do as it's told until the episode either passes or an opportunity to have time to deal with it arises. Really frustrating at times.

Juuule. I think the difference is that most people say the thing about Santa, but it's all pretty vague, and there's no definitive proof of the standard of behaviour. Therefore, those parents have no intention of letting Santa NOT bring those pressies.

NAB on the other hand, is very seriously considering cancelling presents, food, family, festivities - the LOT, if a jar is not filled. That is much more likely to happen. I happen to think it's a mean threat to make.

Well, they are our kids so it is our decision. Don't criticise unless you have done my week for me.

I thnk that may have come out harsher than I meant! I do appreciate all the input but don't like being told I am mean. If you knew how my kids had been lately then you would understand why Dh said something drastic.

There are other mums on here who cancelled Christmas.

I can't see any difference in the threat, to be honest. When you tell young children that Santa won't be coming, some do believe it even though the adult knows different.
However, I find it hard to believe that NAB would seriously cancel Christmas . I'm a bit and surprised if it was a serious threat.

It was DH's threat, btw!

Ooooh boo hiss naughty daddy.

BYW I forgot to say I did ask her what was wrong. Several times.

I'm just smarting cos I took the "don't use food as a reward" comment personally. I do believe what I said, but I also agree that it is each to their own - so I'd like to make it clear that I was opinion-stating rather than criticizing.

As I said before, I have threatened things which I have later regretted. My DH is also a s*d for doing this.

BTW, you're speaking to the woman who put her DS in Holiday Club for 2 mornings a week during the summer hols.... didn't work, just NEEDED a break from him!

Just been a checked the relevant post. Do please stop smarting. It wasn't a comment about your parenting. I was never fed as a child so I have real weird food issues which is why I try not to use it as a bargaining tool.

Nothing wrong with that! That is what holiday clubs are for!

about your food problems.

As I said, DS is better since starting school, but only in the sense that his "dos" are less frequent. They sound like yours.

Eg:- DS happily playing with train set. Next moment, howling, screaming, tears rolling, Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmyyyyy.

It's clear that he's not hurt, and it's also obvious that something trivial has gone wrong - like he can't find a buffer.

At 6yo, I expect him to come and ask nicely FIRST, then get upset if I ignore him! For some reason, occasionally, he misses out the asking part, and just launches into a paddy.

I have ALWAYS ignored these, and made the point "You need to calm down, then I will speak to you and help you if you ask nicely".

Sometimes the "do" can go on for an hour.

Grrrrrr.

My 6 year old has just spoken to his sister in quite a bossy manner, blaming her for something she hadn't done and then was quite demanding in getting me to sort it out. I did suggest he ask me nicely..

We had a special on holiday too (though he was suffering from an ear infection so he's forgiven )

We asked him if he'd like an ice cream. He said "No..... wah wah wah".

We said, "DS2 is having one. Are you sure?"

"wah wah wah wail wail wail" (top of voice, people were starting to stare).

Got DS2 an ice cream then DS1 wailed about NOT having one. Needless to say he didn't get one.

EH?

We had a special on holiday too (though he was suffering from an ear infection so he's forgiven )

We asked him if he'd like an ice cream. He said "No..... wah wah wah".

We said, "DS2 is having one. Are you sure?"

"wah wah wah wail wail wail" (top of voice, people were starting to stare).

Got DS2 an ice cream then DS1 wailed about NOT having one. Needless to say he didn't get one.

EH?

Let's hope he doesn't follow mine's example!

Only one thing to say to that...............

KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Re the train set example,

Should point out I don't ignore him! I meant to say, that that is the only time I would excuse that behaviour - if it were the case!

Won't life be dull when they've flown the nest?!

Better go and relieve DH from tea duty..... and dole out their "good behaviour" sweeties