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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Pocket Money - payment earned or made as of right?

99 replies

fridayschild · 28/08/2007 11:50

DS1 is constantly on at us to buy him one or another of the Thomas and Friends trains; he has some, but never enough! I'm not prepared to buy them just because he wants them. We said he could write to Santa to get some for Christmas but he's now worked out that is some time off, and would like them before then.

So we thought about pocket money. He is 4, so we were going to give him £4 a month. This still means it's going to be 4 months before he can buy his next train - they are £15 each.

He also earned £2 on Saturday by cleaning the car inside and out. Do your kids just get their pocket money or do they have to earn it? And if they just get it anyway, can they do jobs to top it up?

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Tinker · 28/08/2007 11:54

I've never really got teh hang of pocket money. Started to give her £5 per week this holiday (and from this she had to buy all sweets/mags/crappy bits she pesters me for)and losing 50p for every major transgression. Worked out she was getting about £3.50 per week. But she forgets to ask about it so the system has collapsed again.

bozza · 28/08/2007 12:03

I think a month is a long interval for a 4yo. I would (and do) give £1/week which works out almost the same. But DS (he is 6) has had a good week. He got £1.50 off his grandparents for swimming without armbands off and £1 off the tooth fairy this morning.

It is only the big engines with tenders that are £15, some of the smaller ones - Thomas, Percy etc are abotu £10, aren't they? And if you give him odd extra bits like the £2 then you might knock a month or so off the time it takes to save.

moodymoo · 28/08/2007 12:04

4 may be a bit young to get him to earn or even understand pocket money - and he would loose interest in it if it will take him months to save up. You would be setting him up to fail. Perhaps a star chart with achievable goals on it would be better - giving him a star when he has been very good or when he has been helpful, agree with him how many stars he needs to earn for his reward.
My dss is 12 and pocket money has only worked since he went to high school last year.

ejt1764 · 28/08/2007 12:08

I started doing the pocket money thing with ds this summer holiday - he's 4.11. He's allowed to keep the money from the locker at swimming on a Saturday - it's then up to him if he has chocolate out of the machine, or whether he saves it all.

To start with, he wanted to buy the DVD of Flushed away, and we made the deal with him that we would pay for half, if he saved up half ... that made it more attainable, and was a real incentive for him - he stopped buying chocolate at the pool for a start!

When we went on holiday, we gave him some pocket money as extra, and he could spend it on whatever he wanted: he soon realised that he couldn't buy everything in the shop, and the 2 or 3 things he did buy, are his favourite toys, and he tells everybody that he paid for them himself.

I also give him £1 for helping me with my Avon round ... I'm very pg at the moment, so he is really helpful bending over to pick up the books people have left outside.

He's now saving up to buy a Mousetrap game ...

bozza · 28/08/2007 12:18

I think it is a start towards them understanding money. And they love having their own piggy bank with coins in it. DS recently has been saving up for the Cars cars which only take 3 weeks to get. But now he wants a transformer, so I have explained that that will take longer, despite his bonanza week, this week.

Whenever my two have saved up for something, we have a special trip to the toy shop, and they each carry their own money in their purse/wallet and pay seperately at the till. They love that aspect of it. I do try and go when it is quiet, mind you.

Original poster

fridayschild · 28/08/2007 12:33

Hmm, I think I will shift to £1 a week, with bonus money for lots of ticks on his star charts. On the one hand I agree he is a bit little for this, but he was so pleased to have his own money like a grown up, with somewhere to keep it, and then be able to count it as well.

Size matters to DS1 he ONLY wants the big trains with tenders.

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SleeplessInTheStaceym11House · 28/08/2007 12:35

i don't think 4 is 'too young' for pocket money but a month is definatley too long to wait for it. id say once a week or even 10p a day if he has a good day tantrums will cost him 1p etc. when we've moved house im going to start this with dd who is 2.10, but she is quite forward and understand money well.

sometimes now she ends up with a pocket full because of grandparents giving money, she loves paying for her own things in shops!

meandmy · 28/08/2007 12:40

we had to earn our pocket money and when dd (15mo) is old enough so will she as dp's parent took care of his money now he is pants with money!
By the way i was getting £4 quid a months till i left school i got paper round at 13 though! we had to do jobs to get our pocket money and anything we did wrong was deducted from our pocket money accordingly i also had to buy anything i needed!

Nemo2007 · 28/08/2007 12:45

Ds is 3.10yrs and we tried the pocket money trick with him as he wanted a tv. We said he could have £1 a week thinking would take him a year to save, instead it took him jus tunder a month as he told everybody[we had just had dd2] and they either gave him cash or paid him to do jobs!! Doesnt really help you but after that I went back to buying a gift when deserved!!

HonoriaGlossop · 28/08/2007 13:25

We've given ds pocket money since he was four, he's now five.

It's not 'earned', he gets it without having to do jobs etc. We don't top it up either, for doing jobs or helping; that's part of family life, to me, not something to be paying him for. Not that he'd earn much, anyway .

Original poster

fridayschild · 28/08/2007 13:32

Yes, I can see it is part of a slippery slope. He should tidy up because it is the right thing to do, not because he gets 20p.

This is the dilemma: how to I encourage him to save for something he wants and make sure the results come quickly enough for someone who is only 4?

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HonoriaGlossop · 28/08/2007 13:44

Maybe I am a generous fool but I think give perhaps a little more than £1 a week if you can. It's just age-inappropriate, I think, to expect a four year old to wait months for a toy. Saving up is very hard to do, yes it's worthwhile but it is hard and you don't want to set him up to fail. 4 months to wait is just expecting too much I think.

Something we've done with ds is encourage him to save say,two pocket moneys, then we'll say that we'll help him get it this week but that means no pocket money next week. He accepts that fine and has never kicked up a fuss when reminded. You can at least hold the toy in front of them and say "This is the reason no pocket money this week".

Works for us, anyway.

HonoriaGlossop · 28/08/2007 13:46

Also once or twice when ds has wanted a toy but not had enough money DH has surprised him by giving a couple of extra quid and saying "You can have my pocket money this week". I think it's a lovely way of showing what nice things families do for each other. It's good to role model generosity. It does come back to you, ds has offered us a pound or two once or twice, so I think far from turning him into a spoilt child it's done the opposite.

oliveoil · 28/08/2007 13:46

pocket money at 4?

are you all insane

or am I just mean?

HonoriaGlossop · 28/08/2007 13:50

olive I expect it depends on the child. For some I suppose it might cause more problems than it's worth but as I say for us it's been fine.

Dottydot · 28/08/2007 13:51

ds1 started getting 50p a week pocket money from his grandma when he started primary school last year - so he was 4.9.

He usually saves between £3 - £4 before he feels the need to blow it all on a star wars toy/magazine, but he can also choose to spend it immediately.

Recently we've started adding extra bits of money for jobs he does - so wiping around and clearing the table each dinner time gets him 50p, cleaning the car gets him 50p, etc. He's 5.9 now and I think it's been really good for him to understand how much things cost and how hard we all have to work to have stuff!

bozza · 28/08/2007 13:52

Olive's a big meanie...

Well I actually give my 3yo pocket money too. But obviously I couldn't get away with giving it to her brother and not to her.

MrsWeasley · 28/08/2007 13:53

my dc are 6,8,10 &12 and dont get pocket money.
Last year we did a little reward chart the idea was if we were pleased with the children's attitude (and the ability to actually get their washing in the basket and not behind the furniture) then they got Pocket money, 3 out of the 4 gave it back to us and said they didnt need it

oliveoil · 28/08/2007 14:11

It didn't even cross my mind tbh

Original poster

fridayschild · 28/08/2007 14:11

I have held off mentioning that DS2 got pocket money as well. He is nearly 3. Honest.

OP posts:

ejt1764 · 28/08/2007 14:52

olive, by giving pocket money to ds, it has made him stop asking for all the crap in the shop! He is quite funny, as he weighs up the cost of all the different items before making his choice ...

bozza · 28/08/2007 15:42

fridayschild DD got 50p until she turned 3. But I can't every few weeks take DS to the toyshop with his wallet and coins and just expect DD to tag along quietly can I? TBH I fiddle hers so that she has enough to buy something when DS gets something.

roisin · 28/08/2007 15:52

DSs (8 and 10) do get pocket money - 10p per yr of their age: so ds1 gets £1 and ds2 gets 80p per week. They are expected to do chores every day anyway, not linked to pocket money. But occasionally there are opportunities to earn extra cash.

We don't transact with cash though, instead we just write it all in a book.

DS1 rarely buys anything and just saves and saves it up. He hasn't spent any of his birthday money either, and has over £100 in the book.

roisin · 28/08/2007 15:53

Oh I meant to say ds2 always spends his money quickly, and then is disappointed when he has none left.

I think it's down to temperament and character rather than training/exposure to pocket money and so on.

FlameBatfink · 28/08/2007 16:03

DD knows she doesn't get things that she whinges for in shops cos mummy rarely has enough pennies.

She can start having it when she is a lot older and is wanting to go out buying xyz with mates.

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