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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Pocket Money - payment earned or made as of right?

99 replies

fridayschild · 28/08/2007 11:50

DS1 is constantly on at us to buy him one or another of the Thomas and Friends trains; he has some, but never enough! I'm not prepared to buy them just because he wants them. We said he could write to Santa to get some for Christmas but he's now worked out that is some time off, and would like them before then.

So we thought about pocket money. He is 4, so we were going to give him £4 a month. This still means it's going to be 4 months before he can buy his next train - they are £15 each.

He also earned £2 on Saturday by cleaning the car inside and out. Do your kids just get their pocket money or do they have to earn it? And if they just get it anyway, can they do jobs to top it up?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

EmsMum · 28/08/2007 16:11

I asked DD (8) if she wanted pocket money...she doesn't because she has a purse full of accumulated xmas/bday money (cheques go into savings, cash into purse). She knows its hers to spend but rarely wants to! In fact its main function is for me to borrow from it when the window cleaner calls.

She did however suggest that the dog should get pocket money so she could buy him new toys regularly. Whats the going rate for an 18mo dachshund?

Original poster

fridayschild · 28/08/2007 17:00

DS1 is a materialistic little fellow. Not too sure how that happened but I'm confident the parents are to blame! He knows exactly what his money is for and is looking forward to spending it.... How did you lot raise such saintly children?

OP posts:

MarsLady · 28/08/2007 17:05

Mine get money each week but not for jobs. It teaches them about money from an early age.

DS1 (14) gets £30 a month. He has to buy his own stuff and credit his phone. (I pay for his uniform, lunches and travel)

DD1 (12) gets £20 a month. Ditto DS1 but I pay £5 towards her phone

DD2 (9) gets 90p per week. She saves up for anything that she wants. Just bought her a Slyvanian House for her birthday so she will be saving to buy bits for it.

DTs... they don't know about money yet and they need nothing more that I deign to give them.

DS1 is now old enough to babysit for people (which he has done on occasion). If he wants extra money he has to earn it.

I don't take money away but I don't operate an overdraft system either. Once the money's gone the money's gone!!!!!!!

Everyone has their job(s) to do around the house. That's expected. It's part of family life!

handlemecarefully · 28/08/2007 17:13

Dd is 5 - I kid you not, she has performance related pocket money [control freak emoticon]

She has a set of standards to maintain each day - and she gets assessed at bed time (takes 2 minutes) and paid accordingly. She has to be given her money daily rather than weekly because the link between good behaviour and reward needs to be more immediate with a young child imo. Sometimes I ponder the merits of bribing my child to behave well...(and whether I am making her mercenary) but I'm a pragmatist on the whole so try not to analyse what works too closely .

She can earn up to 50p per day (usually averages 30p or 40p). I am aware that this is a lot of dosh weekly - £2-3 on average, but she must buy any comics, pens and crayons, any spending money at summer fetes, ice creams when on a day out etc from this as well as saving for bigger items

frogs · 28/08/2007 17:26

Mars, what's your ds1's going rate for babysitting? I think having a big cool teenage boy as a babysitter would make my ds's night...

My older two get money as follows:

Dd1 (12) gets £10 a week, which was originally based on the cost of her school lunches. The deal is that if she is sufficiently organised to make her own packed lunches and snacks, she can save almost all of this money for her own use, thus (a) encouraging her to be organised (which has always been a problem) and (b) helping her to see just how fast money adds up if you're not constantly buying little tchochkes here and there. I top up her phone £10 a month, and buy essential clothes. Anything over this has to be saved for. I do occasionally dish out the odd tenner for helpfulness beyond the call of duty.

Ds (8) gets 80p a week (10p per year of his age), which buys him a Beano or so. Mainly he saves it, as he loves to take his money out and count it!

Dd2 (3.5) gets nothing, nor will she for a few years yet.

MarsLady · 28/08/2007 17:33

It's up to you Frogs but I pay my teen sitters £4 p/hr.

He's rather good with small ones and not so small ones.... had a fair bit of practise lol!

If you seriously want him... email me and let's sort something out. (He has a huge bill to pay.... will recount that story over the email)

DD2 loves counting her money as well. The DTs get overexcited if they find a penny. Ah well............

frogs · 28/08/2007 17:43

Will email you if you remind me of your email. Or can CAT you.

I am in need of a new babysitter, as ds gets v. grumpy about the middle-aged women Sitters send us. He had a particular downer on the one they sent us the most, who did have very scary eyebrows and bleached blond hair. I suspect if she'd been 21 and gorgeous he would have quite liked us going out. But a cool big boy would be even better.

TheHerdNerd · 28/08/2007 18:07

"Yes, I can see it is part of a slippery slope. He should tidy up because it is the right thing to do, not because he gets 20p."

Surely you've got it backwards? You're not teaching them that doing chores deserves money, you're teaching them that money needs earning?

Hell, I dunno. Our eldest is due tomorrow, I'm clueless! I think I'll give them a certain amount of money regardless, unconnected from chores, but there won't be free topups. They'll get more money for doing over-and-above chores.

Like doing my chores.

Nymphadora · 28/08/2007 18:22

Mine get £1 a week (5 & 7) they buy all their crap out of it and save up for holiday spending too (to buy all the crap with !)

It sometimes gets stopped due to bad behaviour and they can earn more by doing extra jobs at home.

MarsLady · 28/08/2007 18:22

lovelymarslady at aol dot com

He's away on a Rugby tour till Friday. He'll be so impressed that I've been pimping him out!

Original poster

fridayschild · 28/08/2007 18:24

I meant that he shouldn't be bribed with money to behave well.

I think this is a different lesson from the lesson that money needs to be earned. But it is at the heart of what I was trying to get to in the original post.

OP posts:

Hulababy · 28/08/2007 18:31

5yo DD gets £1 pocket money each Saturday. Started it at Easter, as she turned 5, to tie in with the money topic at school.

DD's pocket money is not linked to behaviour or chores. At present we don't feel the need to have anything like that - fortunately.

She is free to do what she wants with it - save or spend. TBH she normally saved it until she has acquired a bigger amlunt to buy herself something more substantial. It is sometimes, not often, suplemented by grandparents. It has worked really well and she is happy to wait awhile and save up to buy things she wants but I won't buy for no reason (such as birthday, etc) - like her Furreal, etc.

frogs · 28/08/2007 18:42

All this and he plays rugby too? Ds will be goggle-eyed with adoration.

Lol at you pimping him -- and on the internet too, you hussy!

law3 · 29/08/2007 12:07

im a big meany!!! i simply tell them NO, (nothing wrong with saying no, doesnt make you a bad parent!!) you have to wait for xmas or birthday. Kids today are far too focussed on material things and money and spoilt, patience is a virtue!!

I expect them to make their beds and keep their room tidy and try hard in school, without being paid, i give praise, not money!!!

handlemecarefully · 29/08/2007 21:41

Round of applause for law3 - puts the rest of us mere mortals to shame

ClaireBlair · 30/08/2007 05:30

I have a friend who's DS's demand to be paid for every little thing - stacking the firewood etc etc - they won't do it unless they're paid, which I think is sad. When I was growing up that sort of thing you just did to contribute to the family. I don't know when I'll start DS on pocket money but I like the idea of making him save a quarter of it every time to give him the savings ethic (and not to blow it all on crap!). I think it will not be job connected as I prefer to think of him doing things to be helpful rather than because there is something in it for him. That said, he will have chores to do and there will be consequences to not doing them.

eidsvold · 30/08/2007 08:06

our dds get pocket money - they have a set of jobs they do to contribute to the household - simple tasks and then on Friday we look at their chart and see how they have gone and they get their money accordingly.

They are 5 and 2 3/4.

Each night we look at their job chart and they get stamps for each job they have done - so they have a visible reminder how they have helped. They are tasks above and beyond simple tasks they do as part of the family.

We use it especially for dd1 who has sn to encourage her to work on the things we know she needs to work on. It also works as a prompt if i get too caught up to remind them to do things.

got charts from here and just used paint to adjust.

as they get older - they will have jobs that they will be expected to do just as part of the household and jobs they will be assigned to earn their pocket money.

they get money from relies and we put some in savings for them - but this is just dh's coins that he offloads onto them. They love getting their money boxes and getting their 'allowance'. dd2 - not quite 3 loves it.

Hulababy · 30/08/2007 09:19

law3 - that is why I don't link pocket money to chores. I expect those done as standard. I give pocket money to introduce the idea of money, its value, saving, etc. Worked well linking it to the money theme in numeracy that I knew DD was starting at the time we began giving pocket money.

hana · 30/08/2007 09:28

our oldest still doesn't get pocket money, I'm not in a rush. She gets treats when we're out and I might give her a pound ( or less) on a day out to spend - MIght start when she turns 6 and give her £1 a week. Wouldn't link it to doing chores though, I don't like that message and would want them done because I said so, not becuase she gets money for doing x,y, or z

law3 · 30/08/2007 10:46

sorry didnt mean to sound like a know it all!!!

Just feel there are better lessons to be learnt in life, as oppose to i want and money.

Does pocket money really teach kids the value of money, they spend it on a load of rubbish!!

If you want to teach kids the value of money, give them pocket money and then make them pay a bill!!!

I think you would be better off opening an account for them and put their pocket money in there until they are a lot older.

ghosty · 30/08/2007 10:50

DS gets pocket money for chores.
I don't get money for nothing. So nor does he.
He doesn't buy rubbish. Sometimes he sees some crappy toy when we are out and he asks for it. I say I will buy it for him but he has to pay me back from his money box when we get home - his usual reply is, "Nah, I've changed my mind, I don't want to spend $5 on THAT!" But he is quite happy for me to spend my $5 on that? lol
He's a clever boy ...

peanutbear · 30/08/2007 10:54

I dont do pocket money might try it though DS is 9 and if he wants something I buy it if hes been good

but I think pocket money is a good idea but they would have to do jobs around the house or do well in school etc

eidsvold · 30/08/2007 11:32

my dds do have a bank account into which goes money that relies give for birthdays and send from overseas.

Pocket money has not been touched yet but we have just started it.

law3 · 30/08/2007 11:39

Ghostly - what does your ds spend his pocket money on?

ejt1764 · 30/08/2007 11:44

I find the same as Ghosty - that it has stopped ds asking for crap when we're in the shops, as he knows he has to pay for it ...

ds saved up first of all to buy the dvd of "Flushed Away"... he's now saving up to buy a Mousetrap game as he's seen it at a friend's house, and would like one for home.

His pocket money is not linked to chores ... although as I'm v.v. pg and suffering with spd, he has been given a bit to put in his money box for coming and helping me deliver and collect the Avon books. However, he doesn't get it every time - and he doesn't ask for it, as if he asks for money for doing things, the rule is that he won't get it.

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