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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

So, tell me honestly, what stereotypes do we have about only children?

88 replies

stressteddy · 22/08/2007 10:34

Read an article recently about only children and it was saying that many people assumed they would be spoilt, quiet, socially awkward etc
I wondered what you thought of only children? (Please be honest - I know you will be MNers!)
I ask because I am STILL unsure about having any more

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MuffinMclay · 22/08/2007 10:45

I know there are many examples of lovely, well-rounded only children in real life.

What made me and dh keen to have more than one child, if we could, was the fact that both our mothers were only children and, tbh, it really shows. Both can be very selfish, are hopeless at sharing and thinking about other peoples feelings, and think the world revolves around them. They're not quiet or rserved though - far from it! You can't get a word in when my mother is talking.

Interesting, MIL knows she can be like that (although doesn't do much about it ), and had 4 children because she didn't like being an only child. My mother has no such self-awareness.

Do what feels right for you though.

LucyJones · 22/08/2007 10:46

My dh is an only child.
He is hopeless at sharing too, can be very selfish and needs his own space or he gets a bit cabin feverish.
However he never had a problem making friends, is a warm, loving person with a wicked sense of humour.

Original poster

stressteddy · 22/08/2007 10:47

Thanks Muffin. Your mum amd mil sound hilarious!! good job you can see their reasons for being so tricky!

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Original poster

stressteddy · 22/08/2007 10:47

Lucy - how old is he?

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WanderingTrolley · 22/08/2007 10:49

IME only children are confident, get along well with adults, independent and secure.

That's true of some siblings too, obv, but I think the stereotype is a myth.

LucyJones · 22/08/2007 10:50

stressteddy - my dh? 33!

clapton · 22/08/2007 10:52

My DH is also an only child, he is very outgoing and very sociable. It certainly has not done him any harm.

He is a very loyal person and respects his friendships. He is still in touch with his primary school pals despite moving away etc. I think his friends mean a lot to him because he does not have any brothers or sisters.

He can be selfish at times, but saying that he lived on his own for many years before we met.

Original poster

stressteddy · 22/08/2007 10:52

I thought it said ds - Sorry Lucy.
...stressteddy wanders off feeling a bit giggly and embarrassed....

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tigerschick · 22/08/2007 10:53

Not sure about stereo-types, tho the common ones are already here.
I know teachers who think they can pick the only children out of a line up simply by looking at them, but I'm not of that mind.
The reason we would like to have a second dc is mainly for dd ... dh and I are both 2nd of 2 and think that having a sibling was a positive thing in our childhoods - someone to play with, learning to share, being mixed with children of different ages (sibling's friends), eventually a strong friendship etc.
Ultimately, you have to do what is right for you and your family

LaBoheme · 22/08/2007 10:53

such a myth about the failure to socialise, only children tend to do this better that children with siblings as they are encouraged by parents more to go up and ask if they can join in etc...
Most only children I know are really happy, if a tad spoilt, but super friendly and well-rounded individuals

LucyJones · 22/08/2007 10:54

here is another htread on the subject

LucyJones · 22/08/2007 10:55

and this one

FioFio · 22/08/2007 10:56

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FioFio · 22/08/2007 10:56

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LucyJones · 22/08/2007 10:56

this is the one I was looing for, brill thread

puddle · 22/08/2007 10:57

I know three delightful only children. They are all very different - but none of them is quiet - they are very sociable kids, two are very bright and as able to relate to adults as their peers. All three are EXTREMELY good at sharing - better than my two in many ways.

oliveoil · 22/08/2007 10:58

I don't think you can stereotype only children, they all have different genes and upbringings

however, I think I can generalise and sweepingly state that their PARENTS will be less stressed, have more time and money then others

Original poster

stressteddy · 22/08/2007 11:00

Brill Lucy - what a lovely thread that last one is
Thanks

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Fireflyfairy2 · 22/08/2007 11:01

My sister has just one child. She is 10.

I doubt if the fact she is an only child has anything to do with her selfishness & lack of sharing though, she just has the same personality as her biological father.

She is a very closed child. She shows no-one any affection, least of all her mum. So, no, I don't think this is an only child thing.

I have no stereotype of an only child at all. Why would they be different to children who have siblings?

One of my friends at school had no siblings & spent most of the weekend at our house watching cartoons with my brothers & sisters!

FioFio · 22/08/2007 11:02

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Fireflyfairy2 · 22/08/2007 11:04

Can you tell I don't like him? He's not her daddy anyway, her daddy is lovely

FioFio · 22/08/2007 11:05

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littlelapin · 22/08/2007 11:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peanutbear · 22/08/2007 11:11

My father is an only child he can be selfish and just generally doesnt think e.g can you look after the pub on saturday me- no dad i have 3 children dad- get someone else to have them !!!!

My DS1 hasa friend who is an only child who is a nightmare but not because of being an only one his mother cant cope with him or his temper so she is always saying I coul only cope with one hence he lives up to it

I think only children are generally well rounded and happy it depends on how they are brought up not how many siblings they have IMHO

sandyballs · 22/08/2007 11:17

My DH is an only child and I do think he finds family life a bit harder because of this. He's never been used to the arguing and the bantering and ups and downs between siblings. I keep having to remind him that it is all very normal when our girls kick off .

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