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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Sexual behaviour in a 5yr old

39 replies

Ripeberry · 19/08/2007 18:26

Hi, posted a few weeks back about my DD1's friend who is a boy and his wanting to cuddle her all the time and show his willy.
Well, today he was over our house playing and he was playing nicely with my DD2 who will be 3 yrs old after Xmas.
Anyway, i say him lead her away upstairs and so i followed a couple of minutes later and found them in her bedroom.
He had my DD2 bent over her bed with her trousers and nappy down to her ankles and he had his trousers down trying to have sex with her doggy style!!
I mean, where is he getting these ideas from??
I did not shout and scream at him, just told him that its not a nice thing to do in someone else's house.
He then blurted out that someone at school kept doing this to him at playtime, this other boy is in his class but 6yrs old.
I don't think he's even confided in his mum about this.
I don't want to stop him coming over but i'll have to watch him like a hawk all the time.
True kids will experiment but it's all too fast these days.
AB

OP posts:

MyTwopenceworth · 19/08/2007 18:28

Tell his mother. Especially that another boy is doing this to him.

If this is true, the next question is why is the other boy doing this.

Original poster

Ripeberry · 19/08/2007 18:28

Oh yeah, and he wants to come over one night for a sleepover.....dream on son.

OP posts:

Hulababy · 19/08/2007 18:29

You must tell his parents this. It is definitely not normal 5 year old behaviour IMO. His story about playtime is worrying.

3Ddonut · 19/08/2007 18:29

That's very innappropriate in a child of this age and very worrying, it's a dangerous game to play. Poor you, I'd have been distraught! I think you need to have a word with his mother and this other little boy needs identifying, could it be he's been abused (6yr old)??? How

Hulababy · 19/08/2007 18:29

Try not to blame the 5yo. He is obviously unaware that this is wrong. But yes, he will need watching closely for a good while.

CountessDracula · 19/08/2007 18:30

do I hear the trip trapping of hooves here?

cylon · 19/08/2007 18:31

tell his mother. tell the school
do not keep quiet aboutthis
it is not normal. it is not kids learning too fast.

Hulababy · 19/08/2007 18:31

Ripeberry has over 200+ messages though.

thelittleElf · 19/08/2007 18:31

Hmm i thought the same count!

pepperpots · 19/08/2007 18:32

Countess i'm glad someone else agrees.
If the OP is for real please accept my sincerest apologies but...

Original poster

Ripeberry · 19/08/2007 18:32

Since they have broken from school he seems to be doing this more and more. Don't know if he's worried about it or not.
I'll try and have a word with his mum, but her usual response to anything he says is to say he is making it up.
I may mention it to the reception teacher so that they are aware also.
It's just so sad, as the boy who is doing it always seemed quite a nice quiet boy.
AB

OP posts:

Wilkie · 19/08/2007 18:32

No CD - not a troll, check out other threads in her name

Ripeberry - awful. Not sure what to suggest but defo speak to the mother - and quickly.

MyTwopenceworth · 19/08/2007 18:33

No CD. I remember Ripeberry's other thread about this. It really sounds like this boy's mum needs to know what's going on so she can deal with it, including going to the school to talk about this other boy.

chocolatemummy · 19/08/2007 18:33

sorry but you should contact S Services immediately
this is sexually inaappropriate behaviour and where ever it has been learned from a child at that age should not be exposed to it in any form and there is a chance this is actually what is being done to him!
d not hae a sleep over, and do not approach parents unless you know them well as it may scare them off and you might prevent a child being protected

chocolatemummy · 19/08/2007 18:33

sorry to be full on but this is my job!

Wilkie · 19/08/2007 18:34

Acutally thinking about it, where has the original boy learnt 'doggy style' behaviour from?

SS may be a good call.

Hulababy · 19/08/2007 18:35

As parents don't seem interested I would suggest a word with SS, or perhaps Childline so they can tell you what they suggest.

chocolatemummy · 19/08/2007 18:36

if you are uncomfortable about doing this you can contact me via email and i will do it

Original poster

Ripeberry · 19/08/2007 18:36

This is certainly not a Troll post and i'm not making it up. Just count your lucky stars that its not happened to your DCs.
When i was 8yrs old i was groomed by a Paedophile so i suppose i'm very sensitive on this subject.
I just don't want what happened to me to happen to my DDs, is that too much to ask?
AB

OP posts:

pepperpots · 19/08/2007 18:37

Like i said i offer my sincerest apologies but the wording is a little odd iyswim.

Wilkie · 19/08/2007 18:39

Ripeberry - contact chocolatemummy. My sister works for Child Protection in the police, defo something dodgy going on

chocolatemummy · 19/08/2007 18:41

I work for social services do not need to know your details particularly what area are you in

pipsqueeke · 19/08/2007 18:43

you def need to contact the school and SS as well this is v serious. and as the parents don't seem to be taking much of an intrest - i'm sure a 5 year old won't make something like this up (althou I don't have a 5 year old)

re the boy playing with your DC's. to be honest IF you want him at your house then try to keep them in a room where you're all playing together - or do activities - baking or something of that sort where he doesn't have any oppertunities to take your DC's anywhere.

prob also worth mentioning to your DC (not sure how you'd word it/go about it) that only they may touch their areas. iycwim.

good luck.

Original poster

Ripeberry · 19/08/2007 18:54

Pipsqueek, My 5yr old DD1 knows how to tell him No, i think that's why he went with my little 2yr old as she doesn't know any better.
I'll speak to the mum tomorrow if i can get her to stay still for 5 mins, she is always out and about that's half the reason he comes over to us.
Don't get me wrong she is a very good mother of 6 children but his brother and sisters aged between 8 and 11yrs old , don't like looking after him much when she is out.
They have their Nan at home but she is not very well (physically) so can't really keep up with them all.
I was just so shocked today when i saw them, he was a bit embarassed so he must know that it's wrong.
AB

OP posts:

Hulababy · 19/08/2007 18:56

How often is mum out? I don't think an 11 year old should be reponsible for 5 other younger children.

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