Sexual behaviour in a 5yr old

[Ripeberry]

Hi, posted a few weeks back about my DD1's friend who is a boy and his wanting to cuddle her all the time and show his willy.
Well, today he was over our house playing and he was playing nicely with my DD2 who will be 3 yrs old after Xmas.
Anyway, i say him lead her away upstairs and so i followed a couple of minutes later and found them in her bedroom.
He had my DD2 bent over her bed with her trousers and nappy down to her ankles and he had his trousers down trying to have sex with her doggy style!!
I mean, where is he getting these ideas from??
I did not shout and scream at him, just told him that its not a nice thing to do in someone else's house.
He then blurted out that someone at school kept doing this to him at playtime, this other boy is in his class but 6yrs old.
I don't think he's even confided in his mum about this.
I don't want to stop him coming over but i'll have to watch him like a hawk all the time.
True kids will experiment but it's all too fast these days.
AB

ring socvial service immo

ah yes - am assuming your 5 year old wasn't there at the time.

agree with hula - an 11 year old is a bit young to look after the other children.

you really must talk to mum and the school (not sure which i'd do first tbh - could you mention tot he school that the boy had done this with your child and priamrily you're worried about your LO's but naturally are concerned about the boy iycwim - might be easier for the teacher to mention to mum?

if you feel comfortabl about speaking to mum and mention your concerns and see what her reaction is, she may be unaware if something is going on but the behaviour you have mentioned would merit an immediate visit by a social worker so I advise you to contact somebody as soon as possible, don't stop the child from coming around because it will only mask the problem and you might be his safe haven. obviously I cannot force you make contact but given your history you should know that you need to do the right thing here not only for this child but the siblings and potentially any other children they come into to contact with as many children who ar abused become perpetrators

Totally agree with chocolatemummy I work in CP too and this is very concerning.

I thought he had a teenage brother?

Jeremyvile, yes the eldest is his brother, one other brother is at college and the rest are sisters.
(If anyone is interested i've updated my profile), did not even realise i hadn't before.
Chocolatemummy, i'll see what the mum says, if she just dismisses it then i will try and get in touch with you, thanks for all your replies.
AB

I'm sure you're not trolling, did i get it wrong about the teenage brother?

xpost!

read your profile, sounds like an idylic life you have wish i had the space and time for animals I have gorgeous cat though.

Hi, I'm a new poster here, joining from MagicMum where I also post under same user name.

I have dipped into this board a few times in the last few weeks, and did read your original post Ripeberry. I wasn't going to reply, as I'm a newbie, but your current post has really made my stomach lurch with dread, so I've logged back on to post.

I feel bad for your DDs, and the situation that you are in, and think that you have handled the situation really well (i.e. haven't made him feel bad/ashamed). However, your little neighbour seems like he's having very serious troubles and that you should be onto SS straight away - hopefully, the apparent abuse patterns displayed aren't happening to him from an adult, but they may well be. If not, they are happening to the 6 year old in his school who is then seemingly enacting it out on your neighbour. Poor poor kids - I do hope that your next actions can help to stop whatever is (apparently) happening.

good luck in how you choose to proceed. A very difficult situation to know how to approach in the best and most sensitive way.

'ender

Hi Ringsender, thanks for your message. Still not managed to speak to the mum but i think she will get angry with him and its not really his fault.
I'm going to see how it goes on when they go back to school and see if this 6yr old starts again, then i'll start taking action.
AB

It is not his fault, but it is not our place to decide whether or not to act either. Please please please report this to SS so that the people who work in this field can handle the situation in the way that is tried, tested and that they are trained for. You can not be sure how much of a problem you have seen, and there may be far more than you are aware of - or not hopefully. If you hear no more if it, it may just be because he is too embarrased after being caught, not because it is not happening. I know you might feel difficult for your friendship but the welfare of the children must come first. Please

please report this now or contact chocolate mummy so she can report it - it is very concerning that 2 young children could be at risk please do not put it off any longer

i would think that either the boy who did it to your dd is being abused and is saying another child did it to him to cover or the boy who does it to him is being abused or he sees adults doing it, either in real life or on the tv or something. even if the latter is the case, it is wrong for him to be exposed to it.
you deffo need to report it somewhere, and well done for keeping calm about it.