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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Controlled Crying - When can I start, is my DD too young?

53 replies

LulaTallulah · 05/08/2007 09:05

I did Controlled Crying with my eldest DD at three months and although it was hard it worked a treat and she is a brilliant sleeper. DD number two is 3 weeks old, is this too young? If so, how long should I wait?

Thanks.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PrettyCandles · 05/08/2007 09:14

Far far too young at 3w! She has barely got used to being on the outside. Give her a ittle longer please.

Meanwhile, why don't you try easing her into a good sleep habit by never letting her suck to sleep (dummy/bottle/boob), but just stroking her until she falls asleep.

I wish I had known 6y ago that it can take 20-25mins to settle a newborn to sleep, and that that is perfectly normal. With my fisrst child I instinctively took my time settling him, stroking him to sleep in lots of different places (sofa, playmat on floor, cot etc) and he learned to settle himself to sleep very easily. I didn't even realise I was doing it. And when no2 arrived I forgot about it and panicked when she didn't just go straight to sleep like no1 was doing. So I stuck a dummy in her mouth adn lived to regret it.

So I'd say find other settling strategies before you try CC. AT this age your baby needs to know that you will come when she needs you.

Magicmayhem · 05/08/2007 09:14

Personally I think this is too young... do you have a good night time routine?

RubySlippers · 05/08/2007 09:24

don't think CC is recommended for chidlren under 6 months, or it may be a year
try swaddling if your DD has trouble settling
at 3 weeks it is way to early to be thinking about this sort of thing

Trinityrhino · 05/08/2007 09:25

please, please dont do CC on such a tiny baby.

The man who advocates this awful thing even says that it shouldn't be done until 12 months
please dont do it

beansprout · 05/08/2007 09:29

It won't even work, her brain isn't developed to pick up the message you are trying to send by using this method.

Tracey Hogg (The Baby Whisperer) is very helpful when it comes to new borns.

Doing CC now would be nothing short of cruel (and I did use it for an older baby).

yogimum · 05/08/2007 09:31

I am planning on doing some kind of sleep training with my lo who is just over 12 months. I also look after newborns, I would never ever do CC with a baby so young. Try a good bedtime routine as a previous post mentioned.

pointydog · 05/08/2007 09:32

Of course 3 weeks is too young. Didn't you do a bit of research for your first kid?

GibbonInARibbon · 05/08/2007 09:34

amidaiwish · 05/08/2007 09:37

3 weeks?
do you really expect your baby to sleep when you want her to at 3 weeks??!

purplemonkeydishwasher · 05/08/2007 09:46

she's a baby. let her be a baby

FillydoraTonks · 05/08/2007 09:47

please don't do this at 3 weeks

nspcc does not recomend under 6 months, and then only in desperate circumstances.

She is tiny.

blueshoes · 05/08/2007 10:09

lula, other posters have said it all. Just wanted to add that the first 6 months of a baby's life are absolutely crucial to emotional development. Long periods of distress at this age could seriously damage your baby's emotional wellbeing.

Babies who have been abused (not saying CC is akin to abuse at the NSPCC level) in the first 6 months of their life have the most problems in later life, problems that are virtually unfixable. You don't want to go there.

wulfricsmummy · 05/08/2007 12:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

WanderingTrelawney · 05/08/2007 12:15

Don't do it.

It won't work.

No one will benefit.

TheQueenOfQuotes · 05/08/2007 12:30

omg 3 weeks, even 3 months is far too young. 6 months absolute minimum!

moljam · 05/08/2007 12:30

3 week old babies dont sleep.
dont do it!maybe try having a nice bedtime routine but still not expect sleep from such a young baby.i agree baby whisperer is more helpful for newborns.

mind you i cant offer any advice ,my 19 month old doesnt sleep

moljam · 05/08/2007 12:30

WanderingTrelawney that hat suits you!

EscapeFrom · 05/08/2007 12:33

not before 12 months old is the advice

I would say Definately not before 6 moths old.

3 weeks is ridiculously young - when you are not inyour childs hearing or sight, for all she knows you have died and she is alone in the world. You should never do it until they can demonstrate some knowledge of object permanence

mears · 05/08/2007 12:45

Way too young - even at 3 months

3 weeks old babies need to be fed and cuddles on demand even if it is very frequent.

Sakura · 06/08/2007 00:16

CC can alter the babies brain from the stress it causes when the mother/its carer doesnt come. The baby thinks youve been eaten by a beast or died or something and will scream and scream until any human comes to fine it. When she stops crying it means she`s given up all hope!

twentypence · 06/08/2007 01:14

There just isn't sufficient activity in the right part of the brain for her to in any way "learn" from this.

She will flood her body with cortisol (stress hormone) and that actually prevents new learning taking place.

I understand that you are probably very tired right now - but the answer is to work out how YOU can get some sleep - not her.

nappyaddict · 06/08/2007 02:43

Controlled crying shouldn't be done until about 6 months really.

You can do crying down which involves leaving your baby to cry when you put them down for a sleep. Crying down with a baby under six weeks usually lasts between five and 10 minutes, although with some babies who have become over-tired and fight sleep, it can last up to 20 minutes.

You can then enter your baby's room and reassure her with a soothing touch or quiet voice. This should be kept to between one to two minutes before leaving her. You should then wait about 5-10 minutes before returning. Try to repeat this procedure until she learns to sleep by herself.

There is also the core night method where you should wait until they are at least 6 weeks and 10lb in weight and putting on weight each week. They should have fallen into a good daytime routine and be settling well in the evening aswell before trying this. The idea is that once a baby sleeps for one longer spell in the night over several nights, she shouldn't be fed again during the hours slept in the course of the core night. Once you've seen that your baby can last a certain length of time without a feed, you can use this opportunity to help her to sleep longer. If she wakes during these hours, she should be left for a few minutes to settle herself back to sleep. If she doesn't settle, try patting her, offering her a dummy or a sip of water, giving her the minimum of attention. If your baby still won't settle, give her the smallest feed that gets her through until 7am.

popsycal · 06/08/2007 06:15

omg
3 weeks!!!
Please wait until she is around 6 months at least
(I have never been able to do it at all)

popsycal · 06/08/2007 06:18

Pick her up and cuddle her or feed her if she can't sleep. Try to find a way that lets you get more sleep. I could write the book on sleep deprivation and know only too well how desperate you can feel. But still - please do not do this.

amidaiwish · 06/08/2007 09:47

interesting nappyaddict - that's what i pretty much did with DD1 when she was about 4 months old. i thought it was "controlled crying" i.e. letting her settle herself. is it not?

DD2 was probably left to cry a bit more, simply because i had DD1 (19m old when DD2 born) and couldn't go to her every time she cried.

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