Good old fashioned smacking

[heepie]

I don't believe it did me any harm and I do wonder why the previous generation, ie mine, was so much better behavied than the current, ie my kids. I find the softly softly, ignore bad reward good behaviour does not work with a strong willed child and find myself more and more thinking what was wrong with a good old smack? Peeing on the floor right in front of you with a big smile on the face surely warrants more than the removal of a star on the reward chart? And whacking little brother over the head with a heavy object? Not eating something very nice and edible that I have slaved over in the kitchen? Why must we never tell our children to eat what is in front of them when I wasn't allowed to leave the table until I was finished? I don't have an eating disorder. I think it's time I through all the modern how to bring up children books out of the window and remember how it was done when I was a child? Anyone else feel this way?

Violence begets violence...DVers see it in the home and are almost 100 per cent also the victims of violence themselves in the home.

It's dumb, not clever.

Greensleeves is right. Intelligent smacking - that's the most utter nonsense I've ever heard. If you apply intelligence, you find another strategy.

But didn't India Knight admit to "taps on the back of the legs" or some such euphemism for inflicting pain?

and me and me.... aren't i right too then?

I have smacked, some years ago now, and only once or twice, but I sincerely wish that I hadn't. I still shout (not all the time) and wish that I didn't too but that one's beyond me.

I will discipline my child the way I see fit. Until smacking becomes illegal I will continue to do so if I think that what they are up to is dangerous. If I think that sending them to their room is acceptable I will do that too.

We will see what happens when they become teens to be honest. I might be very very wrong, you might be very very wrong.

Lets hope that all of our children grow up to be law abiding nice kids without the need for therapy because of their childhoods

If anyone is interested I have just made strawberry and dark choc muffins and they are looking very nice.

I'll have one of those muffins please UCM!

Greeny they are farking fab, I might post a pic for you.

Do

I am lol at intelligent smacking
is that like
thoughtful punching
or
considered kneecapping

ROFL.

er, that ROFL was to Harpsi, rather than the violent lyrics

UCMs Muffins

I must say though, my ambitions for my kids are a little more than that they be "law abiding"

I would rather, for example, they thought about things, including whether any given law was actually fair.

Of course, Filly, that too

No one really has answered this - how do you do it within current English law lawfully? So you hit but it leaves no mark? How do you actually manage that? Is it because you're darker skinned. If I slap my arm it goes red.

If it hurts it marks. If it doesn't hurt then it's no different from holding their arm gently to put on a school jumper. Therefore most people are acting illegally even under current law. By all mean emigrate to countries which allow the beating of children and indeed wives but don't break the law here.

I'm the last generation and I'm very well behaved and I WASN'T SMACKED. Instead my parents taught us morals and consequences of behaviour by 'doing as you would be done by' and making sure they acknowledged when they were in the wrong.

Kids are bloody irritating sometimes, quite frankly some of the kids I see in the mums and tots group are infuriating. The combination of energy and a lack of understanding of consequences can be a molotov cocktail. I've seen tots cycle headlong towards the baby mat at full pelt. But do they need a smack? No, they need better leadership from their parents, and mostly they get it.

Yes they do go from the 'I'm two years old and am going away while I'm replaced by a satanic doppelganger for a while' experience. That's how they learn to be social creatures. You don't learn rules by being hit, you learn fear.

For me, there was nothing in the world worse than parental disapproval. I knew my parents loved me and I respected them and was mortified if I thought they were cross with me and caved immediately. Was I a big softie? Was I hell! We were all fiercely stubborn, but a joy in being part of a big loving family was much more important than the short term rewards of being allowed to smash things or be a little bugger for a while.

Nice tablecloth UCM!

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whomoved, I so agree that parental disapproval is a very powerful tool but it will only really work where the parent works hard, all day every day really, to give quality attention to the child, showing warmth and approval. When that warmth and approval is removed that can be enough of a sanction to the child, in itself.

how long before this discussion appears in the Times?

To me smacking is a form of abuse and like all abuse it creates its own abusers. Most of us were hit as children and so we all are more likely to resort to it when we lose control. "It never did me any harm" is so wrong. It did you harm becausse it means you now think it is okay to hit your children.

The question for all of us is how to we break this cycle.