How do you keep your patience?

[ThomCat]

I struggled this morning big time.

DD1 is 5.5 and has SN's. DD2 is 18 months.
Both have chicken pox, mildly, but it's there.
I'm pregnant and a wohm.
Mornings stressful anyway.

DP has irritated me slightly by loading dishwasher and shoving everything onto the top shelf for some reason. Cutley from dioshwasher emptied randonly into the drawer etc. Children take 100 years to get up the stairs to get dressed by us after breakfast. They just sit at bottom and don't move. DD1 has huge mad bedhead that got wet in shower so is massively tangled. I'm brushing, she's stressed, she screams in DD2's face who screams back and then DD1 screams back again, DD2 cries falls off bed gets carpet burn on her nose! DP takes over getting DD1 dressed and moans at me for how many layers she's got, (ie a tunic dress, leggings and cardi is just too much for him right now!) DD2 is crying from tumble, DD1 is moaning about being dressed. DP moans he's going to be late, I tell him to go so he does. Girls really playing me up and being irritable with each other.

The moaning, the bickering, not doing anything I need them to do, the hayfever, the bad nights sleep, the pregnancy, the slightly annoying stressed himself DP, all proves too much for me and I remove myself to cry in DD2's room.

Mornings are so hard and I just want to scream and throw a small child, my DP or myself against a wall and then run away and not come back for a month.

How do I keep pateient, not let it get on top of me, remain sane???

How the chuffing hell will I cope in the mornings when no 3 joins us if this is how I feel now?

I sympathise greatly, I find the getting-ready-to-go-out process hugely stressful too. Although am sahm so usually less time-critical, unless dh is there (metaphorically tapping his foot by the front door, sighing ostentatiously when I say that dcs have to have suncream on).

Would it be easier for you to get yours dressed before breakfast, so that you didn't have to get them upstairs again?Sorry, I"m sure you have thought of this and it does depend on the messiness of your children/breakfasts but if we are pushed for time in the mornings I find it easier to make breakfast as close as possible to the last thing we do.

Could you get any help in the mornings for the first couple of months after your baby is born? Or could your dh arrange to start work half and hour later for a while?

It will get better once chicken pox is over!

I am jealous of all this "waking them up at 7am". My DS (2) wakes up at 5.45-6 WITHOUT FAIL

you are pregnant sweetie

I told someone in Tesco's the other day that 'excuse me would be nice' when they dared to brush past me near the tomatoes

I have no excuse, I am just plain rude (although I did have 2 squabbling children at the time, in my defence)

I was crossing the road on the ZEBRA CROSSING this morning after a horrible morning getting my bickering kids to school, when this crazy pregnant woman actually rolled down her window and started shouting at me
I was really
Am I being unreasonable?

(Thomcat, you are pregnant. It's yer hormones. Oh, and the bickering)

Oh, in our house dh gets showered and dressed while I take kids down and start breakfast, then he comes down to supervise and i have shower etc. We might have a cup of tea together at some point.

TC i dont see how you can improve on that

the bickering happens here too, it must be an age thing and difference in years between the girls etc, like mine

soemtimes i do the "ok first person to the top of the stiars is the winner" but it doesnt work everytime

could dh get dd1 dressed before breakfast? immediately after shower? in bathroom? then go downstairs?

shall I make you all green?

when I work, dh goes out at 7.30am.....with our children

and leaves me ALONE IN THE HOUSE

I have to be out of the house, dressed and hair dry by 7.55am mind, so tis not a leisurely shower

but it is ALONE

olive

are you pg now too?

i agree its easier to stay downstaris once there, either get dressed then have breakfast, or get dressed downstairs after breakfast

if htis is in front of cbeebies, then so waht

NO!

whatever gave you that idea?

don't you dare tempt fate madam

On our chart we have a list of behaviours I wanted to change
Not playing roughly with the baby or keeping quiet while the baby is asleep for example and although my dd1 can't read yet it kept us focused. It also means you can say 'Oh aren't you playing nicely let's have a smiley face' if it looks as if things are about to turn nasty and it really distracts them! On bad days we have smileys for the littlest things and it keeps us on track and enthusiastic.

because you bit someones head off at the tomatoes

no, I was just fed up (and rude)

LOL! Feel better, should have done this ages ago.

My tits are killing me too. And I am a miserable cow when I have hayfever.

Yes, OK. it'll be better when chicken pox has cleared and no 3 will just slot in somehow in the morning s and it'll all just work put ok.

I just wish that I wasn't such an impatient hormonal mad witch sometimes.

Wouldn't it be lovley to have loads of patience and not get stressed by difficult kids in the morning, or to be all that AND not have difficult kids! Ohhh can you imagine??????????????

yes but you would then be a robot and your children figments of your imagination

And you wouldn't have us as friends because we would be muttering nastily about how you weren't THAT perfect surely behind your back.

I feel that it is an important Ritual to bellow at my children every morning HURRY UP HURRY UP WE HAVE TO GO NOW NO PUT YOUR SHOES ON NOW I SAID SHOES NO I DON'T CARE IF YOU'VE LOST IT WE ARE GOING NOOOOOOOOOOOOOw. It's something they'll remember me fondly for in later years

I fucking love you lot!
Seriously I really do.

My boobs are also going to explode today, OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Another idle yet effective tip - leave pyjama top on whilst breakfast is being consumed and change as soon as all chance of milk/juice spillage has passed!

I do also think it's no bad thing for kids to see that their parents are human and can be pushed, and that they react to being pushed, and that all in all it is a good idea not to push them because everyone including the parents gets unhappy.

I still have those muslin cloth things from eons ago festering somewhere for this very purpose

dress, tie cloth round neck, spill/smear away see if I care

remove festering cloth, clothes are fine

I say "shall we see if we can have a nice morning without mummy shouting?"

and then IF (ha!) we do, they get lots of praise "aren't you helpful?" etc

Oh yes, I say, "this is getting to the point when I might get shouty and we don't want that do we?"

After I had my scream / cty alone in DD2's room Lotbags walked in and stood next to me and stroked my arm and siad 'smatter mummy?" and then kissed my arm! Bless! But 5 minutes earlier she'd elbowed DD2 in the side for no apparent reason whatsoever!

TC - I think just a little change to your routine would work well for you

Alarm 7am - up, wee, open DD's doors.
TC and DD2 Down - makes tea and do their toast.
DP and DD1 shower, DP dresses then down.
All except tC sit and eat/drink
TC Upstairs while children eat, showers and dresses then comes down with clothes for both DDs.
DP dresses one DD and TC dresses other downstairs while watching Ceebeebies

TC does DD1's hair.

DP leaves.

Get shoes on, get bags etc.
I do 1 tip to car with stuff, come back for DD2 belt her in come back for DD2 belt her in.
Drive to various drop off points. (8.40ish)

is it an option to not watch tv until everyone is ready?

I have 3 to get ready
get up at 645
girls dressed by about 715, down to have bfast , finished by about 745 (make lunch too and feed and change baby)

• they play downstairs while I get ready at 8 I brush teeth and do their hair and only if they're all ready and no fighting can they watch tv - works out to about 15/20 min before we have to leave for school

have to say most morning we don't get around to tv b/c of the bickering between the two of them and general lagging of both to put shoes on, cardis etc etc

Thank you, am going to try a new morning routine and see how it goes.
Can't repeat today's crying or rant at any more woman on zebra crossings!