How do you keep your patience?

[ThomCat]

I struggled this morning big time.

DD1 is 5.5 and has SN's. DD2 is 18 months.
Both have chicken pox, mildly, but it's there.
I'm pregnant and a wohm.
Mornings stressful anyway.

DP has irritated me slightly by loading dishwasher and shoving everything onto the top shelf for some reason. Cutley from dioshwasher emptied randonly into the drawer etc. Children take 100 years to get up the stairs to get dressed by us after breakfast. They just sit at bottom and don't move. DD1 has huge mad bedhead that got wet in shower so is massively tangled. I'm brushing, she's stressed, she screams in DD2's face who screams back and then DD1 screams back again, DD2 cries falls off bed gets carpet burn on her nose! DP takes over getting DD1 dressed and moans at me for how many layers she's got, (ie a tunic dress, leggings and cardi is just too much for him right now!) DD2 is crying from tumble, DD1 is moaning about being dressed. DP moans he's going to be late, I tell him to go so he does. Girls really playing me up and being irritable with each other.

The moaning, the bickering, not doing anything I need them to do, the hayfever, the bad nights sleep, the pregnancy, the slightly annoying stressed himself DP, all proves too much for me and I remove myself to cry in DD2's room.

Mornings are so hard and I just want to scream and throw a small child, my DP or myself against a wall and then run away and not come back for a month.

How do I keep pateient, not let it get on top of me, remain sane???

How the chuffing hell will I cope in the mornings when no 3 joins us if this is how I feel now?

And Sopabox - you are such a love, xxxxxxx

Can you get up just 10 mins earlier and shower yourself? I do that and it really sets me up for the day. You are then in more control for the rest of the operations.

You won't thank me for saying it, but 7am is um not exactly early for getting up in my book. I'm v well organised in the morning and they are generally plain sailing but I do get up at 6.15am.

Like MI, I think a good shout is also part of the schedule. It is an invariable part of my repertoire (I think consistency is very important for small children)

My DD likes to throw a bit of variety into the proceedings by having an unscheduled, unscripted, cheerful and very long poo - usually in the bathroom that her brother is trying to brush his teeth in...

Ah, yes, the impromptu poo. Usually DD2, but sometimes DD2.

Agree about the getting up (shudder) earlier.

I meant...but sometimes DD1.

Ds1 (2.6) said to ds2 (1.6) this morning "Uh oh, mummy's getting cross. Let's hide"

And we weren't even going out anywhere. This was just the usual get dressed malarkey.

I always found life easier after the second or third baby was born, compared to being pregnant and dealing with one or two toddlers. More to do but also more energy.

Some of the things we do (we have 3 small children and 2 jobs) include:

Bring their clothes downstairs, ideally if you've got a downstairs sink they can brush their teeth at then after breakfast they don't need to go back upstairs (with all the dallying possibilities that entails). After breakfast, clothes on, teeth and hair brushed, no TV until absolutely totally ready down to the last shoe buckle or coat toggle. Then immobilise the dressed one(s) in front of the TV (mine won't stray away from the wondrous TV) and sort the wayward slow one(s).

Also consider just getting up 15 mins earlier for a bit to see if that helps.

Oh meant to say - a second set of toothbrushes and toothpaste is kept in the downstairs loo for that last minute scrub before leaving the house

hope you had a better morning today! i have just the one ds (3) so very unqualified to give advice really. i do know what you mean about the bickering though - he used to play lovely with his 4 yr old cousin and now they're at each others throats. it really ruins the time i spend with my sister. they both want whatever the others got even if they'd never play with it in a milion years if they were on their own. 7 is a lovely time to get up, we have smiley faces all round if ds manages to sleep till 7. he will usually be up by 6-6.30 but if he is i spend the whole time between then and 7 in some sort of trance on the sofa and not doing anything useful at all. i definitely wouldn't set your alarm earlier. iam a really lazy cow and do as little as possible in the mornings and that does take the pressure off a lot, but if you feel uncomfortable sending your children out into the world looking like they sweep chimneys then you will probably always be stressed a bit. one thing i do know is NEVER say "just go" to dp when what you really mean is "don't leave me" - they just don't get it for some reason. x

I have had a bad morning. Ds was fine until man turned up to do loft insulation quote. Then he got all upset. I tried ignoring, suggesting other things. Loads of things. In the end I told him I was starting to get cross. And then he stands at the top of the stairs and shouts, out of the blue - "DON'T SMACK ME".
He has been smacked maybe 5 times in all.
I was mortified. I am sure loft man thinks I beat the living daylights out of him every day.

how do they know exactly the worst time to say things? is there some sort of kids website in a parallel universe which they all tap into in their sleep?
"my mummy didn't give me her full attention for 5 mins today - i feel terrible"
"have you tried the don't smack me technique? - it's especially effective in front of complete strangers"

sounds entirely normal to me!

I guess the only real sugestion i have is are you in a position to get a mother's help when number three arrives - just for a few weeks maybe? might be worth the money for the help and calm environment

it might be just lovely to have someone else make breaksfast, school run etc - and you can sit still for a few moments!

Deb34, I know. He has me over a barrell and he knows it. He's not stupid. I phoned dh at lunchtime. He said that I musn't let him see that this upsets me.

I can't have my ds (3.5) holding me to ransome over SMACKING

SMACKING - FREE COURSE - how to embarrass your parents - all under 5's sign UP NOW

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You'll be fine when number 3 comes along. The thing about being pregnant with your third is that you are tired and huge and spend the entire time wondering how you will cope with three!

Once DS3 was out and I was no longer a lumbering whale, everything was so much easier .

You actually wake you little cherubs up..................wow.
never done that the whole family up up at 5.00-5.30 am

mmm lovely

ARRRRRRR

hi

i feel less miserable and unusual reading this thread. oh for normal children, oh yes, taht would make life much much easier.!

my mornings are hellish - thomcat, i totally identify though i am not pregnant. that would send me over the edge..

mine bicker and assault each other every second they are together - then hug elaborately in front of other people at school gates just to undermine my credibility!

the "it's not fair" totally dominates our life... whatever the situation or issue.

tantrums, unusual behaviour, we have it all. but thanks for making me feel i am not alone in this....

This all sounds horribly familiar. The only other thing I can suggest, in relation to the behaviour thing, is an incentive for doing something STRAIGHT AWAY. So, my youngest does all the "yes mummy" stuff when I ask him to do something, and then stays exactly where he is and carries on doing what he is doing - which drives me bonkers. So I found that if I say "I am going to count to 5 and if you don't do what I have asked then I will take you there myself (or similar thing, basically make him do it in a reasonably forceful way)" and then I start slowly counting to 5 - and it normally shifts him. But I guess an alternative (and more positive approach) would be to offer a STRAIGHT AWAY sticker or something like that.

Might work, who knows. Good luck though.