How do you keep your patience?

[ThomCat]

I struggled this morning big time.

DD1 is 5.5 and has SN's. DD2 is 18 months.
Both have chicken pox, mildly, but it's there.
I'm pregnant and a wohm.
Mornings stressful anyway.

DP has irritated me slightly by loading dishwasher and shoving everything onto the top shelf for some reason. Cutley from dioshwasher emptied randonly into the drawer etc. Children take 100 years to get up the stairs to get dressed by us after breakfast. They just sit at bottom and don't move. DD1 has huge mad bedhead that got wet in shower so is massively tangled. I'm brushing, she's stressed, she screams in DD2's face who screams back and then DD1 screams back again, DD2 cries falls off bed gets carpet burn on her nose! DP takes over getting DD1 dressed and moans at me for how many layers she's got, (ie a tunic dress, leggings and cardi is just too much for him right now!) DD2 is crying from tumble, DD1 is moaning about being dressed. DP moans he's going to be late, I tell him to go so he does. Girls really playing me up and being irritable with each other.

The moaning, the bickering, not doing anything I need them to do, the hayfever, the bad nights sleep, the pregnancy, the slightly annoying stressed himself DP, all proves too much for me and I remove myself to cry in DD2's room.

Mornings are so hard and I just want to scream and throw a small child, my DP or myself against a wall and then run away and not come back for a month.

How do I keep pateient, not let it get on top of me, remain sane???

How the chuffing hell will I cope in the mornings when no 3 joins us if this is how I feel now?

With difficulty. I think that some mornings are just worse than othERS. I've had a pants week, feeling really under the weather with a bug and my two toddlers exactly the same way and DH away with work. This culminated in me going to pick him up from the airport and he didn't tell me he was getting a lift so I missed him and was the epitomy of harassed mother waiting for him at the arrivals gate. He never switched his mobile on until he got home and I was still at the airport - the air was blue, in front of the kids and everything. Never rains but it pours I think. Feeling in a much better mood today

Distraction. If my 2 dses are playing up then I try anything to distract them - tv on in the background, sing a song, tell them a story, can you find your red car/blue train etc.

Then I walk out of the room. Inhale deeply/scream/whatever. When I have time to myself I put on my music and try to lose myself in it.

Oh my God, that airport thing would have sent me over the edge! I feel like screaming at that one for you!

Yeah some mornings, some weeks are worse. These hormones aren't helping.

It just all seems so bloody hard sometimes.

DD1 is just a law unto herself. Whemn she's good she's good, but when she's bad, oh boy.
You ask her to come upstairs and she says yes then doesn't move.

Becasue of her behaviour problems / SN's it seems DD2 has turned into wild untamed child or perhaps it's just an 18 month old thing?

I get up at 7am and leave at 8.30 and it's just not enough time but bollocks to getting up before 7 that's ridiculous, isn't it???? No I can't be doing 6 bloody 30!

How will I have time to deal with no 3?

Oh someone shoot me or send me to a spa, one of the 2!

dont shower them in the morning unless because of wet beds etc.

mornings here are a military operation (3 dd's, 7,4 and 2yr old, ill dh and carer to let in as well) it has to be or else its manic.

I am now the world's biggest behaviour chart fan after the amazing success I've had with my dd1 (aged 3). She gets to draw a smiley red face for good things and we have to draw a green sad face for naughty things. I started off by giving her a (small) present every day she got more smileys than sads but now all I have to say is 'Do you want me to get the green pen?' and she is as good as gold! Add to that the entertainment of her increasingly bizarre drawings of faces and it's a winner all round.

first of all, get them dressed before breakfast
except for weekends

set the alarm for ten minutes early ( i know this is hard but ive done it for years and its lovely ) and go downstairs and have a cup of tea on your own befor eeveryone else rises

Mornings are a nightmare. Evenings are a nightmare too. I have no clue how women who stay at home do it. Work is the only thing that keeps me sane.

I Showers are only because at 5 and due to her SN's she is in nappies and she STINKS in the morning!!! Sometimes a wet wipe just ain't enought you know!!!

I might try the reward chart thing. Not sure it'll help with everything, like not taking it out on your 18m old sister when you are having your hairbrushed. I still think she'll moan the words 'mine, mine, mine' over an dover everytime she sees her sister with any old random toy / object. Still think she'll take 15 minutes to climb up 14 stairs but it might help with something??????

oh that horrible nappy smell, i get you now. is there anyway just a wash in that area would do?

cant help with the stairs thing, because i dont have any, sorry.

a good routine i guess is whats needed, but it needs to work for you. #

my girls have been getting up 45mins early and playing the ps2 without waking me it does mean i can send them to bed at 7pm and they fall asleep lol.

Oh, comiserations, it sounds really hard. You don't shower them in the morning do you? Um, I don't have any answers. It's a blooming nightmare some days. 18months is classic start of diva behaviour ime, but getting close to an age when you really can reason verbally with your dd. If lottie won't go upstairs, i'd bring her clothes down. I remove jam from ds's face with a spitty finger on the way to school! And I never brush hair (not an option with Lottie I know). I am a slut-mother.

LOL, it was bloody great to get into work today! I so know what you mean there.

Would be nice to have tea on my own but as girls are oftern awake and DD2 possibly already crying, half an hour before the alarm goes off anyway.....not sure I could leave them awake in their room and go downstairs. However i am going to give the getting them dressed first thing some serious thought and discuss with DP. Then at least they can stay downstairs and play / watch Cbeebies while I go bak up and shower in peace. Hmmm, that just might work and if it does I'm going to kiss you all over!

do not shower them in morning! ARE YOU MAD WOMAN?!

up, toilet, downstairs for breakfast, bit of tv

upstairs, teeth, flannel, dressed

downstairs, spray hair with plant spray thing, comb, ponytail/clips

I get up at 6.30am, when working, I wake them at 7, they leave at 7.30am (don't have to feed them though, MIL does that)

when I am off, I get up at 7am and have a cup of tea, then wake them up

I leave downstairs straight the night before so I don't get up to wine glasses etc

make all packed lunches, sort out bags

tis a pain in the arse being the organiser

My ds is in night nappies too...I don't think he stinks ...but he has been known to have a morning bath.

I tend to dress mine after breakfast as they absolutely plaster themselves with food!

I used to leave outfits out the night before but dd2 informs me now what she will be wearing

so we usually have a battle on that front

I have been known to hide things so she can't wear them

Aloha - no DP showers and puts lottie in with him to freshen her up. Poor thing needs to shower more than us after being in a nappy all night at age 5.5. That's not the stressful bit, it's everything else.

Guess the chickewn pox and my pregnancy are making it all so much worse.
Have taken to keeping amethyst crystal in my bra at the moment to help keep me calm!

shower in peace?

sorry?

what is this of which you speak?

If my ds is difficult in the morning I bring his clothes downstairs and dress him in the lounge while he watches TV.. Don't know whether it's the best parenting advice but hey, life's too short!

I do that on my work days willmouse

gets them to keep their heads still so I can do a straight parting

LOOK AT THOMAS AND KEEP STILL [rant]

OO - I'm top organised woman. Suger & t0bags in cups, all things laid u=out, breakfast, c=lothes, lunches made etc etc etc.

It';s just bickering, moaning, not doing a sodding thing i tell them kids that is so hard.

Honest the shower is when the nappy thing is so bad that a wet wipe just isn't enough and onlyt for DD1. It's so not part of the stress.

It's them, the way the are with each other cos they can't do what they hell they like on a weekday morning.

yes, the bickering is hard

my fight over fresh air

not good at 7am I must say

xx

get a nightshift job - then when you get home from work everyoen ahs gone to work/school/nursery - the house is EMPTY and QUIET - you get to watch phil and fern in your jammies for a bit with a peaceful cup of tea - then an undisturbed sleep for a whole day

Bickering presses all my buttons too. Luckily (?) mine tend to do that in the afternoon after school, not in the morning as much.

This is my morning:

Alarm 7am - up, wee, open DD's doors.
Down - DP makes us tea and I do their toast.
All sit and eat/drink
Upstairs.
All onto outr bed and Cbeebies goes on.
I dress 1 DD and DP showers.
He gets out and dresses other DD and I get in shower.
I get out of shower do DD1's hair.
I get dressed.
DP leaves.
We come down, get shoes on, get bags etc.
I do 1 tip to car with stuff, come back for DD2 belt her in come back for DD2 belt her in.
Drive to various drop off points. (8.40ish)

Sounds ok but when girls play up and are horrible to each other and thigns like carpet burns to nose / hissy fits over hair brished etc happen and I'm hayfevery / tired / irritated with DP then I just want to lose the plot with everyone.

I lowe3red my wondow and screamed at a woman for not thanking me for stopping for her at a zebra crossing this morning!
Not normal behaviour.

I need to have more patience to get through the next 18 years!

mine do it in the evening as well

last night was dreadful

shall we all run away?