Just got a letter home from the school nurse re: dd's weight

[fireflyfairy2]

She is 115cm & weighs 28kgs.

It says "XXXX weight has gone from 91st centile to above 98th centile. Please contact me to discuss referral to peadatric dietitian"

I know she is a big girl, but she is also tall for her age. She's well built but I didn't think she was overweight.

I am such a failure.

I am about 20lb overweight myself & dh had weight to lose.... I know dd eats very very healthily as I have already lost over 2 stone & she has been having what I have ben eating.

The sensible option is to change the whole families lifestyle to be more active & eat more healthily.. I know we can do that, but I just feel like such a failure at the minute.

Dh thinks it's ok as he had to attend a dietitian when he was young.. but I don't think it's ok. Dh was an obese child & I always blamed his parents when I saw photos of him from childhood... now look what I have done to my beautiful dd I've made her fat, just as I have always accused my MIL of doing to dh

firefly, her diet doesn't sound that bad tbh. perhaps more veg and less ceeral bars, and semi skimmed would make it IDEAL-but really, thats just not out there with terrible diets, it sounds like within the normal range of food. And from what you say she exercises,, which is important.

I know you must be feeling very right now and also feel like this is a reflection on your mothering.

All I'd say is that there is nothing outstandingly wrong, based on what you have posted, so I WOULD consider getting the referal, see if the dietician can trouble shoot. I don't think it has to be a scarring experience visiting a dietician. TBH, if your dd is percieved as fat by the other kids then she is likely to think of herself as fat, and being a fat kid is a real downer in terms of self esteem, IME. Its horrible. She might actually welcome the trip.

Chocolate teapot, thankyou or the lovely post.

I will take your suggestions on board, dh & dd bake at the weekends, they bake buns for granny as she has loads of visitors on a Sunday & they make bread.. I will look for a fruit muffin recipe for them! Thankyou!!

DD doesn't like porridge, but will eat weetabix.. is this as good? [Cereal is something I don't know much about as I usually have fruit for breakfast]

Throckenbolt, yes, yesterdays food was very typical of an average day here. Today she is having a bufet lunch at school as it's prize giving & when she comes home we are having chicken & pasta with green peppers, onions, mushrooms & passatta sauce.

I am going to take Sofia & CT suggestions on board also re: cutting down the potatoes, as I take 3 scoops also & I hdn't realised she had the same amount as me & I am an adult.

Sakura, yes, that's me in the second picture.[ @ the compliment] I am not very tall. I must get a pic of ds in my profile soon. He never stand still long enough

Thankyou fillyjonk.

The nurse's phone keeps ringing out but I will keep trying it again

I think I'll make a quick trip up to visit for a few days - your menu sounds a lot better than mine! Can you sell a 'family healthy eating research topic' to your gang, weight loss not being mentioned. (Hurling and camogie scare me stiff, I only watch it if Sean Og is playing for Cork but he is banned at the minute).

If it helps FF2, I seem to remember a wry comment from the school nurse about how they had got landed with the unenviable task of tackling issues of child obesity as Tony Blair wants it reduced and every other health professional would rather not touch it with a barge pole as it is such a "hot" issue. I am not suggesting your dd is obese.

If this is the thread to discuss general eating trends then I think the point that Morocco made earlier about having lost our perception of what is normal because we are surrounded by people who are carrying more weight than is healthy is very important.
Sadly, because so many people are overweight to some degree or other the old adage "everything in moderation" are simply not relevant for all people.

We are bombarded by pressure to buy highly processed calorific food when we are essentially living a sedentary lifestyle in comparison with our grandparents. We have developed a need to snack that previous generations FF2 unable to support.

The only way that as a parent you engender lifelong good eating habits is to start early and to do it as a family. We have to model the behaviour that our children need in order to live healthily. We need to help them to make informed food choices in a world full of takeaways and food used a rewards. It isn't easy but I think it is absolutely vital.

I doubt that FF2 will be the only one of us who needs to tweak their family's diet and exercise. I hope that you go to the appointment and share with us what you are told. I wish you luck with it and hope that the efforts you make are rewarded by lifelong health for your dd and family.

some other things to try

as I said earlier, give her a starter of something like carrots, cucumber, baby tomatoes, mange tout etc. If you give 20 mins before meal then this will have time to fill them up a bit.

Breakfasts - try making bircher muesli or other good cereals are grape nuts (naturally sweet, no added sugar), shredded wheat (vile imo), porridge etc. I often give dd a bowl of grape nuts then a bowl of berries for breakfast. She only ever has semi skimmed milk. Cut out on the toast or just give half a piece

I don't tend to give her much in the way of carbs in the evening as she has tea at nursery which is usually carb based + fruit.

If she's at home I'll give her pasta though or very occasionally potatoes (we are not a big potato eating household!)

Sandwiches I tend to give ham or tuna with lots of salady bits on the side, if she wants cheese I just give her a little on teh side too

(sorry should qualify that dh and I are both stumpy porker naturally, we have to fight to keep the weight off, so I take extra care with dd's food)

FFF, your lovely little girl looks beautiful and perfectly well proportioned to me. I'm also the mother of a DD who was also 98th centile and above, and slightly lower for height. At the age of 12, she is now 5ft5 and weighs 8.5stone. She looks fabulous, loves her food but eats well. No-one should be eating excessive amounts of cakes, biscuits, sweet drinks, etc. but the odd one won't hurt her. Just as long as she's getting plenty of fruit and veg, drinks lots of water and gets some decent daily exercise, I'm sure she'll be absolutely fine.
I feel slightly sorry for these HVs who are supposed to tackle obesity. I think you should go along to the appointment just as a matter of interest, and I'm sure you'll find that when they see your little DD they will say she's perfectly normal and just to keep up the good with re. diet and exercise.
Oh, and very well done you for losing 2 stone!

fff - hope you are okay. You sounded so dismayed yesterday. Don't feel guilty. It's a waste of energy. I don't think you've done anything bad to your daughter and you could get something useful out of the dietician. I'd love to meet with one and pick up some free advice. Take care.

I bet the dietitian takes one look at dd and her diet and asks you what on earth the school nurse was on about. Sadly nurses are under a lot of pressure from government to identify children who may become obese and I think in those circs they tend to over-refer, which risks creating issues that may actually give children an unhealthy attitude to food.

Agree with Schneebly, her diet looks fine to me, although cereal bars are packed full of sugar and fat so I wouldn't give them. If she does look a bit chubby (I don't think she does look particularly chubby from your pics) then it may be that she's due a growth spurt.

Skimmed milk is not a good idea for young children. Skimming removes nutrients. Food Standards Agency says semi-skimmed is OK for children of your daughter's age.

See the Food Standard's Agency's website for general advice about child nutrition. [http://www.eatwell.gov.uk/agesandstages/children/yrchild] and also this on milk [http://www.eatwell.gov.uk/healthydiet/nutritionessentials/m ilkanddairy/#elem224957]

Doh! www.eatwell.gov.uk/agesandstages/children/yrchild and also this on milk www.eatwell.gov.uk/healthydiet/nutritionessentials/mi lkanddairy/#elem224957

FFF, remember it's not a big problem - this is something that is borderline by the looks of it. I agree, use the dietician for some free advice but don't give this too much headspace.

In the second picture I would say she looks a chubby girl. As you say you wanted honesty! However that is not to say she looks obese! I'm sure there are ways you can improve her diet (sounds like tweaking more than major changes from what you've said) however children's weight often seems just one of those odd things. My ds is a beanpole but eats for england. My neice at five looked very similar to yours in the second picture, quite chubby, despite eating like a sparrow and going dancing four times a week, swimming once, not to forget PE at school twice a week!

Don't agonise too much. She is only FIVE after all. My neice lost much of that chubbiness when she was six, she is much leaner now.

oh and check her weight yourself! My ds school nurse had him on the 75th centile for height when he is actually on the 98th!

The children's BMI charts linked to on this thread are interesting and easy to use.

fireflyfairy2 - your daughters diet does sound good, your dinner tonight sounds very tasty! I do agree with others that it could be portion sizes that are the problem. My daughter is 113cms and 19.4kgs, she fits clothes for her age perfectly so I assume she is not too skinny but average, and she does have some junk food in her diet but her portions are quite small and she doesn't walk she skips or runs.

Just checked and my ds (five) is quite short at 3ft 6ish and weighs 2stone 11lbs, but that puts him in the 56th centile for weight and gives him a healthy child's bmi.

Portion sizes are incredibly important both for adults and children. It is sobering sometimes to see what a health portion size for an adult should be.

I know Aloha, they're tiny!

I think they say that if you cup your palms together, that is the right portion size

my sister lost nearly 2 stone eating the same stuff but just eating less of it

I've heard protein portions should be about the size of a pack of playing cards.

But that's for adults.

NKF - a doctor once said that portion sizes can be related to the size of a person's fist.

So - a portion of carbohydrate for an adult is their fist size, and a portion of protein their fist size.

cupped hands ladies, cupped hands

don't complicate matters with fists please

No, fists better. Because hands could be cupped wide eg to catch a baseball or tightly eg to hold water. So a fist of carbs and what of protein? Another fist. Does anyone actually think like this? I've seen adverts for plates where the proportions were marked out.

god knows!