how can i cope with my five year olds violent outbursts

[southeastastra]

i feel like i can't cope with him and want to run away.

whats he doing love?

Sorry you are having a bad time, SEA.
Is he being violent to other children at school, or to you?

Can't offer much in the way of advice, as as you know, I am having similar problems with my youngest son - but can offer lots of sympathy!

he's so far kicked me and smacked me in the face. he's so demanding and moans and moans. i just feel like walking out and leaving him alone. he's good at school

is it just after school that he is particually evil?

it's been worse this week, though he's just said sorry, but i'm in tears and feel i can't cope with his moods atm

What triggered him off, SEA?

i just told him to get changed out of his uniform. he's calmer now, but he's been throwing things around and screaming. he's pushing me to my limit and i'm so tired.

SEA

Has this been going on for a while, or is a recent development?

SEA

Has this been going on for a while, or is a recent development?

is he in reception sea?

I was having a long conversation with another mum this morning because both our previously passive, loving boys (both 5 yr olds) have turned into mad, kicking, hitting horrors in the last few months. We were both so relieved to find each other in the same position! And of course, they are both angels at school .

I was just about to ask if he is inr ecpetion. My ds is 5 and I must admit he is completely evil when I pick him up from school. takes him about an hour to calm down too

he's always been quite difficult, really touchy, the slightest thing sets him off. he needs an outlet for his agression but what? i'd feel bad putting him in a club as i know how hard he can be to handle. calming down now. but i have to really restrain myself not to hit him or shout at him.

he's in year one but is the youngest

SEA I think this is really common. Tiredness and having to behave well at school + hunger can make reception boys into little monsters IME.

I would meet him out of school with a healthy snack (sandwich) and a drink then get off to the nearest open space whether that's a prk or a school playground and let him burn off some energy for 20 minutes.

Do they never see this side of him at school, SEA?
My DS2 has demonstrated his little outbursts at nursery a few times, and I am very nervous about him starting school.

SEA, dd is in Yr1, she's almost 6, and has been fairly horrible too sometimes. I think it's a combination of tiredness and so much happening at school. Yr1 is a whole different ball game to Reception.

I think letting him burn off some energy as Puddle says, is a good idea as

I think when he's calmer you also need to have a talk about hitting and kicking and impose some sanctions for that behaviour.

Well done you for keeping calm - I know how hard it can be when they blow (see my thread about my v sensitive 7 year old!)

it's so hard sea - I do really know how you feel - it is SOUL destroying when your child is violent towards you.

I think you have to be consistent in your punishment but I suspect, if your ds is anything like mine, then no punishment is working.

I take a snack to school every day, let him run riot in the park if he's got enough energy and then let him slob in front of the TV once we get home. He's also on fish oils now which seem to be making a difference.

But tbh, I don't really know what works because we're not out the other side of it yet. We did a star chart for a bit but they've never really worked with mine. He does get football cards each week and those are dependent on his behaviour - any kick or slap and we start taking them away.

My MIL says dh was like this too- put it down to containing all the normal 5 year old aggression/energy during the day as he realised that it wasn't acceptable to be this way at school. Needed it to come out somewhere and apparently he used to be an absolute horror for the first hour or so at home as that was where he felt secure enough to let go, knowing that his mum would still love him even if he was "a bit testy"!

Or at least that's how she rationalised it back in 1979

Hope it gets better

no pc he is much better at school though he never used to be.

i just made him a fruit salad which was wrong, he didn't want orange and had a fit.

i'm taking him out now to the park. before he has another go! thanks for the support. don't feel so trapped with it now.

It's horrible when they turn like that isn't it?

Park sounds like a good idea to get rid of a bit of energy!

Hope all remains calm now, SEA.

thank you he is calmer now (sort of)!

how is your son at the moment pinkchampagne?

Glad to hear all has calmed down now...long may it continue!

My DS is still stroppy as ever, although we haven't had any more reports from nursery since the scratching incedent. (Thank goodness!)

It is his 4th birthday today, so he is very excitable right now!
Hoping 4 may be the year the strops & aggression calm right down, but I think that may be very wishful thinking!!

happy birthday to smallpinkchampagne!!

they must calm down eventually (i hope!) good job i haven't got any wine or i'd be opening it now and drink the whole lot!