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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

when should day comforters ( not dummies) be stopped or not encouraged ?

85 replies

mummydear · 15/02/2007 17:52

Know a child who is 4 and carries a muslin cloth round and it is given to her at the first sign of distress. Child takes it to pre school etc , I find it unhygenic as it often gets flung around by the child.!

Any thoughts ?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Overrun · 15/02/2007 17:55

I think it can be a bit too easy to judge about this one, lots of children are very dependent on them, and whilst they have to give it up at some point. Pre school can be daunting without your prop. Besides, there is all this research to suggest, that we could all do with more dirt in our lives, so we get less allergies

Original poster

mummydear · 15/02/2007 18:01

I have no problem with dirt ( have two boys so get to see alot of it ) but I just think that the parenst are given it to the child so that they dont have to deal with the distress. Sorry if it sounds harsh.

I've never seen the child ask for it , it is automtically given.

OP posts:

Overrun · 15/02/2007 18:04

I see, well I don't really know, none of my three have had one. I just know from what I have read, that you are not supposed to take it away before the child is ready. I guess it could be self perpetuating, them giving it before the child really needs it. Maybe parents are anxious about child becoming hysterical in front of class mates, and giving the comforter is seen as the lesser evil

Original poster

mummydear · 15/02/2007 18:06

My two have never had day time comforters so perhaps that why I find it strange . i do think that the parenst cannot deal with fall out of a tantrum or upsetting situation with the child.

The child hardly has it at pre school .

OP posts:

Blu · 15/02/2007 18:07

Unless it is your child, no thoughts whatsoever!

Aloha · 15/02/2007 18:08

Why provoke a tantrum though by taking away something that is completely harmless and obviously means a lot to their child. It doesn't harm you, does it?

Aloha · 15/02/2007 18:09

Blimey, we all have things that we find comforting - food, a nice cup of tea, twiddling our hair, chewing a pen...

Original poster

mummydear · 15/02/2007 18:09

But surely if that child is due to go to school full time in Sept some effort must be made ?

OP posts:

Aloha · 15/02/2007 18:10

Don't know why it bothers you though. Child is happy, parents happy, preschool happy.

Original poster

mummydear · 15/02/2007 18:10

Look ladies I am not out to have an argument just interested in poeples comments and views.

No its doesn't harm me but I can still ask why ?

OP posts:

Overrun · 15/02/2007 18:10

Maybe they will gradually get the child used to it over Summer before the holidays. Serioulsy I wouldnt worry about it, its not your problem

Overrun · 15/02/2007 18:12

sorry I don't want you to feel ganged up on. It just seems a bit odd that you are so worried by it. I must admit I find it a odd sight myself, but whatever works for an individual child is my motto.

Original poster

mummydear · 15/02/2007 18:12

I am not worried about it , just expressing my opinon.

OP posts:

Chloe55 · 15/02/2007 18:14

My one year old has a duck he takes everywhere with him - it makes him feel secure and comforts him so I won't ever take it away from him, he'll decide when he wants to give it up. His dummy, however, is a different story....

jangly · 15/02/2007 18:14

They grow out of it sooner or later. We worry too much about germs.

WigWamBam · 15/02/2007 18:14

My initial thought is ... so what? And why is it any skin off your nose?

It's unfair to comment on anything like this, where you don't have the first idea about the family, or why the child uses a comforter.

Original poster

mummydear · 15/02/2007 18:15

I think my issue is that it is automically given to the child and she never asks for it. I think it is actually more of a parent comforter than child comforter.

OP posts:

Original poster

mummydear · 15/02/2007 18:16

WWB - for your info I know the family quite well. I have has the girl round to play and she has never needed the comforter.

OP posts:

Overrun · 15/02/2007 18:17

That makes it clearer Mummydear, so are you saying that the parents seem anxious?

jangly · 15/02/2007 18:18

The fact that she throws it around shows she's nearly finished with it. Sooner or later she'll say "I don't want that!"

Original poster

mummydear · 15/02/2007 18:18

Yes , thats what I feel Overrun.

OP posts:

Aloha · 15/02/2007 18:18

If she doesn't want it, she'll put it down. If she doesn't need it, it won't be a problem when she starts school. It doesn't really seem a problem tbh. It just sounds as if you disapprove of it.

WigWamBam · 15/02/2007 18:18

Sorry, but it's still nothing to do with you.

And my thought on the matter is still "So What".

Original poster

mummydear · 15/02/2007 18:20

Thank you for your contirbution WWB .

Aren't we allowed to post opinions anymore ?

OP posts:

Overrun · 15/02/2007 18:20

As WWB says, it still isn't your problem. Don't worry by the time the child starts school they will have got over it

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