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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

8 year old starting puberty refusing jammies

33 replies

bonnieweelass · 27/11/2016 22:02

my almost 9 year old DD is developing breasts, had a bleed in july but nothing since.

She refuses to wear anything but pants in bed and wanders around the house, eg if she wants a drink before going to sleep.

I tell her repeatedly she needs to wear jammies because she is getting boobs and she needs to be private but she either refuses or throws her clothes off because she's 'too hot' in bed.

I got her new jammies that were lighter and a bit more grown up looking. she wore them happily for like 2 weeks and now she's gone back to just pants.

She flat out refuses to do what I say. In fact she argues back about everything.

What more can I do to get her to see sense? She has a sleepover on thursday night and I am worried about this. I'm seriously considering refusing to let her go.

OP posts:

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NoMudNoLotus · 27/11/2016 22:04

Why does she need to wear PJs in her own bed?

braceybracegirl · 27/11/2016 22:06

What about a little vest? My DD is the same age and gets very hot in bed too. I don't care what she does at home so I don't see the issue but regardless of age or puberty she needs pj's to sleep at friends house. Get her some little short and shirt sleeved t shirt pj's

Thatwaslulu · 27/11/2016 22:07

Would she compromise with a long t shirt? Or a nightie?

braceybracegirl · 27/11/2016 22:07

Exactly what nomud said. I don't see why it matters when she's in her own home.

mrstrunchball · 27/11/2016 22:12

I can't see the issue tbh, I'm 44 and hit puberty quite some time ago, I still sleep completely starkers and find anything else uncomfortable.
Why not just get a nice dressing gown and hang it at the back of her door so that she can put it on to walk around the house. Otherwise, leave her how she's comfortable.

lovelyleftrubbishright · 27/11/2016 22:13

Why does she have to cover up in her own bed? Incase she sees her own tits? I'm sure she'll wear pj's at a sleepover as all the other girls will be wearing them!

DropZoneOne · 27/11/2016 22:13

She's a child whose mind and body is changing. Her emotions will be running high - I have a daughter a similar age so the backchat and tantrums over the smallest thing are very familiar.

Don't force her to wear something she doesn't want to. How about sitting down and gently explaining her body is changing and it's best to wear a top around other people.

Ask her what she would prefer, take her shopping or show her things online? A tshirt and shortie pants is acceptable IMO, doesnt need to be fill on pj's. Let her go naked in her own bed, if that's what she prefers.

coolaschmoola · 27/11/2016 22:15

Dressing gown for wandering around the house, I would let her sleep in just knickers at home if she prefers it. Shortie pyjamas for sleepovers.

Boogers · 27/11/2016 22:17

There has to be a compromise at a sleepover if she's sharing a room or will be wandering about, e.g. to the bathroom, during the night, but in her own house and her own bed why force her to be uncomfortable?

sooperdooper · 27/11/2016 22:18

Don't give her a complex about her body why can't she wear just knickers in bed??

dementedpixie · 27/11/2016 22:18

My Dd is 13 and mainly sleeps naked. She has a dressing gown for wandering about the house so maybe use that as a compromise. In fact we all sleep naked in our house - 2 adults, 2 children

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 27/11/2016 23:03

I'm 26 and have developed breasts and sleep naked on my own. If I get up for a drink I go naked, too. If someone else is here (outside of my partner), I'd wear PJs or put a dressing gown on to leave my room.

I imagine she'll be exactly the same. There's nothing wrong with it. It doesn't matter how adult PJs are if you don't want to wear them!

QuinionsRainbow · 28/11/2016 10:16

One of the excellent pieces of advice offered up by MN posters from time to time is "pick your battles carefully", and the onset of puberty in one's DC is the archetypical situation where sensitivity and tolerance will win hands down over confrontation. There is no law that says that people, children included, have to wear PJs, or anything else for that matter, in bed. Sleepovers are obviously another matter, but sleeping in her own bed, in her own room, in her own home, provides sufficient privacy for a developing youngster, while a dressing gown worn outside the bedroom maintains that privacy among her family. What matters most is comfort while sleeping, and if your DD is comfortable sleeping in just a pair of pants, or even completely nude, then there is no reason to force her to do otherwise. And be reassured that your DD is not unusual in preferring to minimise her night attire. I was about the same age when I stopped wearing anything at all in bed!

Floralnomad · 28/11/2016 10:20

Nothing at all wrong with pants at home as long as she knows when you go to other people's houses you cover up .

Soubriquet · 28/11/2016 10:25

I wear just pants to sleep. If there are guests in the house I wear a nightie when I go to the toilet or get a drink but in bed itself. Just knickers

PurpleDaisies · 28/11/2016 10:28

I'd be amazed if she's intending to sleep naked at a sleepover. I don't wear anything in bed but obviously wear a nightly or pjs if I'm with friends.

Gileswithachainsaw · 28/11/2016 10:31

Why can't she just wear pants.

Perhaps it's the baggy pyjama tops that are running her chest and are uncomfortable.

Dd sleeps in pants sometimes pants and a crop top.

Dressing gown " a la McPoyle" around house

No big deal leave her be

Inthenick · 28/11/2016 10:32

Just let her wander around in her pants. Completely pretend it's normal. One day she will suddenly feel embarrassed by something and will likely stop but don't let it be you, her parents, make her feel embarrassed. I personally would let her off and consider the house to be a nudist camp for a while. Maybe have a wander nude and see how it feels, lol.

user1477282676 · 28/11/2016 12:45

Just like to say....watch what you say on this thread.

PurpleDaisies · 28/11/2016 12:47

For what reason user?

Soubriquet · 28/11/2016 12:58

Apparently paedos lurk on mn now getting their rocks off on these threads

Yoarchie · 28/11/2016 13:02

Op you should tell her it's rude to walk around in someone else's house in only pants. I'd get her a vest and shorts for the sleepover.

As for walking around in own house only in pants, well, depends who else in house and if anyone finds it embarrassing. Need to come to respectful solution for all.

user1477282676 · 28/11/2016 14:06

Soubbriquet Not that this is my main concern but people regularly post OPs where they are fishing for people to add their own experiences with quite personal and sensitive issues. Not all relating to children.

It's not a "Apparently paedos lurk on MN now" issue at all. I've been here for 8 years and it's always been an issue.

Original poster

bonnieweelass · 28/11/2016 14:57

Well...thanks I guess!

She wears nothing but pants around the house. Refuses any kind of dressing gown or vest/shorts combo.

It's more outside her room than in her bed but people are taking me literally

OP posts:

titchy · 28/11/2016 15:04

Still failing to see the issue in wearing just pants around the house, but I guess some families just don't do nudity at all, even in front of each other.

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