Advice needed on 4 year old boys behaviour at school and the way the teacher handled it..........

[northerner]

Ds is 4.5 and my only child, so I am new to dealing with schools and teachers and the like...

Anyway ds is a cute loveable child who likes to entertain and make his friends laugh. I think he is doing this by being cheeky/naughty at school. His teacher has already spoken to me on one occassion about how he sometimes goes too far and does not know where to draw the line. They have a thinking chai at school and I know he sits on it most days.

Today I picked him up as normal, I was half way accross the playground with ds when his teacher came running after me saying 'I need a word about ds's behaviour today'. I asked if she wanted me to go inside school. She said no, here is fine. So she proceeded to tell me about how naughty he has been today in the middle of the playground.

It turns out he has not listened all day, refused to tidy up, and has been pushing other children. I was quite taken aback as she caught me unawares. I just said I would talk to ds about it at home. Which I have.

His teacher seemed very angry and adjitated and made it clear to me and ds she is not at all happy.

Of course I love ds, I also see his kind, loviing side and I am worried she is not seeing this ans he is being labelled as the naughty child.

Has anyone else got any experience of this? Will he settle down or is it down hill from here. Also should she have spoken to me in the playground, is this the norm?

Are they taking it too seriously, after all he is only 4?

Any advice greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Funnily enough he had glue ear as a very young child and had grommets inserted at 2.5.

I am led to beleive it is now sorted though.

he sound like my ds 3.75 in pre school at the moment. he is very boisterous. he has problems with his ears, suffers from glue ear and has done since birth it is periodic, worse if he has or has just had a cold. one side worse than the other. there is is always a marked deterioration in his behaviour when he has it. perhaps you should get him checked out.

the also told me ds was sorted at 2.5 but there are definite periods where he does not respond he appears to be worse on one side than the other.

DS has always struggled to behave in school and we find that a sticker / reward chart really helps.

Had not even thought about glue ear tbh. Will definatley take him to GP to check that out.

its a nightmare - the consultant told me that dr cant diagnose glue ear. but drs have def told me at times that there is evidence of fluid on ear.

I teach year 1 and these sorts of things are what I talk to parents about. I do like to catch them in the playground, because, as someone said, it is less formal. It is not too serious but i would like to nip it in the bud and so am talking to you the parent about it. I have however, had 1 parent complain that it was inappropraite to talk to her about things in the playground so from now on I ask in her into my classroom but most other people are happy for me to speak to them in the playground.

As a teacher I would expect you to go home with your ds and tell him these things are not acceptable and that you will be finding about things that go on at school. Could you work with the teacher and have a star chart - for example helping the teacher to tidy up on 5 occassions could result in you and him having a treat - a trip to the library or a comic etc.

You are clearly het up about this - I would go and talk to the teacher about him. We are human, we make mistakes (me more than most) and welcome other people's viewpoints - he is your baby and you know him best. Talk abotu what triggers him off - any other children etc.