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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Nappy changing terror

48 replies

PeaceLoveAndJaffaCakes · 21/04/2016 12:02

My DS is 16mo and has developed some kind of absolute terror around having his nappy changed or being dressed/undressed. He even refuses to go in the bath sometimes, despite being a certified water baby since birth.

Every dirty nappy means we both need a shower and a full change of clothes, the floor needs mopping, and some toys need cleaning. It gets literally everywhere, because he writhes around and tries to get up and run away. He also screams like he's being murdered. If I heard it out of context, I'd think there was something horrendous happening to him. It upsets me and he cries for a while afterwards.

What the hell is going on? How do I get past this? I try really hard to be fun and make it a game, sing to him, distract him with something he isn't usually allowed, let him be involved (passing wipes etc), but nothing works and he just completely melts down.

I have never knowingly hurt him or caused any kind of trauma that he might relate to nappy changes. I'm at a complete loss. If it is just age related, how long does it last? I'm at the end of my tether with it.

Alternatively, is there any way I can make his poo more solid? He has a balanced diet and enough water, not too much fruit etc. But his nappies are as runny as a baby's. I was always told they should have a high fat, low fibre diet, but should I increase his fibre?

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MattDillonsPants · 21/04/2016 12:39

Is he ever under anyone else's care OP?

If not, I would think that sensory difficulties are a possibility. He may be very sensitive and find the whole experience overwhelming. I would consider changing him only in one specific place for a while ...just a few days to see if things improve. Maybe somewhere he likes...use a very soft blanket instead of a mat...yes, it will have to be washed but he may just hate the feeling of a mat...try offering him something new...interesting...to distract him just before you start the change....if his nappies are runny, then look at his diet.

HIgh fat diets actually cause diarreah...so I would think less fat might be a good idea and to be honest I've never heard of them needing a high fat low fibre diet at all.

A balanced diet is best...is he having fruit juices?

That can cause loose stools too.

Original poster

PeaceLoveAndJaffaCakes · 21/04/2016 13:32

Do you really think it's a sensory issue, or is he just being a bit of a wilful nobhead? I'm willing to accept the possibility of sensory issues but I don't have any other reason to suspect them. What would I need to look out for?

He has only recently started having diluted fruit juice, but very occasionally, not even once a week. He eats a balanced diet, a bit of everything. Full-fat versions of things like milk, yoghurt, cheese etc. The weaning course told us to do high fat, low fibre but perhaps that was for when they start eating solids and my knowledge needs updating. Of course he does eat some fibre, but perhaps I need to increase it to help his gut.

OP posts:

MattDillonsPants · 21/04/2016 15:14

Well...I'm no expert so maybe he IS just a wilful nobhead bless him Have you noticed any other reactions to physical stimulus? Is he ok with hugs and bouncing up and down etc? Have all his milestones been reached?

It just sounds a tad extreme. I know many babies don't like nappy change time...but the whole screaming as though he's in pain thing sounds full on.

I've just remembered that I used to do DDs nappy standing up at this age. Some people have asked me how on earth I managed it but I actually found it easier.

She'd be standing by the coffee table, looking at something and I'd just get on with it there. Putting the nappy on like that isn't even hard.

Maybe you could try it?

BrightandEarly · 21/04/2016 15:47

That sounds tough. Is it dirty nappies only or general nappy changes and undressing?

My DS doesn't like dirty nappies, as in he does want to have it changed, but is quite upset at the same time saying "yucky poo poo" etc. I try to reassure him that it is completely normal and that everyone does poo poos (he is nearly 2 and his understanding is quite good), and we now often get through nappy changes by listing people who do poos. A bit bonkers I know, but he quite likes listing all his nursery friends as part of the process .

Excited101 · 21/04/2016 15:50

That does sound extreme, how is he in general? Any other things he gets absurdly upset by?

How long has it been going on like this? It could just be a phase and it's a case of persevering through it. Would it help to has tv or music on to distract?

misstiggiwinkle · 21/04/2016 17:01

I am in exactly the same boat with my 14 month old ds. He screams blue murder as soon as I go to lie him on the changing table and fights me the whole way through. I, like you get covered and it's becoming such a palava. Only started about 2 weeks ago and I'm praying it's a phase. Anything I try to give him to distract gets thrown across the room and he's actually almost stronger than me! Getting dressed isn't as tough but it's still a challenge as he just doesn't want to be pinned down and would rather scoot off at speed!

Op I feel your pain xx

magratsflyawayhair · 21/04/2016 18:30

My son has this phase. By pure chance I discovered the Balamory theme tune hypnotises him for a precious minute. My nappy changes are now very quick! I would have sworn no distraction worked until I chanced on that.

Lots of kids go through this but that doesn't mean that there aren't more sensory issues for your son. If you have concerns I'd speak to your HV.

Thebookswereherfriends · 21/04/2016 18:37

Do you give some warning of an upcoming nappy change? If he is playing do you say something like 'we'll have to do your nappy soon', then wait a minute or two and say 'one more minute until we change your nappy' .

Annarose2014 · 21/04/2016 18:37

I've been doing pull up nappies in front of CBeebies for months. Are you still trying to lie him down? If so, I'd knock that on the head first!

flingingmelon · 21/04/2016 18:48

We had this and I second the pp who suggested changing nappies whilst they're doing something else. In fact as DS got older we rarely lay him down for a change. Apparently the mat was too cold, or he was busy or he wanted to do it himself.

badg3r · 21/04/2016 18:58

Pampers have recently launched a pull up version of their normal ones. They were a total game changer for me. If the problem is partly the lying down then I would really recommend trying the pull ups.

ByTheNine · 21/04/2016 19:08

Mine was a sod at that age too. The best way was to get CBeebies on then lay the mat on the floor and change her from the side so I could keep one knee lightly on her chest while she tried to wriggle away. It didn't look great, wrestling her like that, but it did work and the phase didn't last too long.

eurochick · 21/04/2016 19:12

My daughter was a little shit about nappy changes at that age. She wouldn't stay on her back. We ended up using Peppa pig episodes on our phones to get her to stay still.

TimeOfGlass · 21/04/2016 19:16

The only way we could change DS1's nappies at that age was standing up in front of cbeebies.

He wouldn't stay lying down on a changing mat.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 21/04/2016 19:19

My DS is the same age and exactly the same during nappy changes... just decided one day that he hates them and wants the whole world to know how much . Screaming until he nearly choked, kicking, clawing my face and generally just trying to escape ( with an arse covered in shit ).

I usual give him something to distract him that he's not normally allowed, like my glasses or a packet of baby wipes. Sometimes it works and sometimes ( like in the toilets in debenhams today ) it really does not.

Oh and he went through the bath hating stage for a few months, getting in with him solved it and now he's fine on his own.

Original poster

PeaceLoveAndJaffaCakes · 21/04/2016 20:12

Thanks all for commenting.
I will try standing up, but as soon as the nappy and wipes come out he is saying, "no no no" and backing into a corner. He wouldn't understand if I said, "I need to change you in a minute". He tells me when he is dirty (though my nose doesn't need telling!), but is quite happy to sit in shit.
He got into the bath quite happily tonight, thank god.
I've had a bit of a brain wave and I'm going to get him a large baby doll and some newborn nappies to get him involved with the whole idea, and a nice new changing mat that he can lie on and get used to before I start changing him on it. We don't have a mat at all at the moment (I know, but it's easier to wash the floor).

OP posts:

PurpleRibbons · 21/04/2016 20:16

Could it be the wipes that he doesn't like then?
Does he go to nursery/child minder etc? If so, have they had the same problem?

PurpleRibbons · 21/04/2016 20:17

Also, randomly, DD likes to choose her own nappy out of the basket. She puts a lot of thought into selecting one from the huge selection of identical nappies!!

Miffyandme · 21/04/2016 20:20

I found a short episode of something like Peppa on the phone held by said toddler did the trick. I never mastered stand up changes though may have to do so as my 10 month old is tricky.

Original poster

PeaceLoveAndJaffaCakes · 21/04/2016 21:07

Nope, only other nappy changer is DH, his dad, and he has the same issues.

I will let him try choosing a nappy. He reacts the same way when I use cloth nappies or disposables. Bleh. I'm going to bed. Tomorrow is another day.

OP posts:

twocultures · 21/04/2016 21:52

But is quite happy to sit in shit.
Hahahahaha this brightened up my evening after battling my 11mo all day everytime he needs a nappy change!
He's not quite as bad as yours but as soon as I lay him down he's rolling onto his belly and trying to crawl away or he'll do it as I'm trying to wipe his bum .. and he finds the fact that I have to try and get him and his dirty poo covered bum back (he's a really fast crawler sometimes as I take the nappy of and put it to the side so he doesn't stick his hand in it he's already across the room/bed etc.) absolutely hilarious. Yet as soon as I actually get him and try and get his nappy back on or his clothes he gets super angry and irritated. Ah the joys

Excited101 · 22/04/2016 00:17

I don't do standing up nappy changes, don't get on with them at all! Get the poor kid a change mat though, so much more hygienic and comfortable than a hard floor- how have you been managing without?!

Annarose2014 · 22/04/2016 08:54

peace try the TV trick and when he's absorbed, take out the things behind his back/in a different room so he doesn't see. Maybe a bunch of cheerios on the coffee table as reward? At least if he's happy to wait a few mins you can get yourself set up for it.

I suspect it's the lying down that's the problem. They all start hating that. Aldi do v good cheap pull ups Btw. Though the Pampers are stretchier for wriggly kids.

He still might freak when you start to pull down his pants but tbh standing up will be the way forward in the future anyway over 2, so you may as well start now. Our lad barely notices nappy changes at this stage, though it still needs a bribe of Cheerios on occasion to keep him from walking away!

MyBreadIsEggy · 22/04/2016 09:05

I have this with my 12mo DD at the moment. And I remember my nephew being the same way from about a year old too.
She doesn't scream and cry, but she is adamant she will not lie down or lie still.....this morning, she did the biggest poo I have ever seen come out of her - it filled the entire front and back of the nappy I got her on the mat, pj trousers off, vest undone, and then she yanked her nappy down and stuck her hands straight in it! After cleaning her hands, I got the nappy off, and she then started kicking and stuck her foot straight into the pile of crap before I had chance to roll the nappy up!theb she started wriggling and writhing, smearing poo all over the changing mat. As awful as it sounds, the only way I've found that I can change her quickly and with the least fuss possible is to kind of straddle her tummy, facing her feet and I can get it done without interference or kicking.....she just lays there and giggles, smacking my bum while I give the odd "owwwwchhhh!!! Smacking mama's buumm!!!"
Strange kid.

BertieBotts · 22/04/2016 09:08

I found that changing them standing up helped. You need to do it over a cleanable floor! Huggies do a nappy which are like pull ups but also have wider velcro which can help with taking it off.

Do you have a combined shower and bath? Another trick which DS liked for a while was to stand him up in the bath, naked from the waist down, take nappy off, quickly remove as much as possible and then hose him down with warm water from the shower head and do a little wash. But then he got frightened of the shower and didn't like it any more. And it does essentially mean hosing solids down the drain, which perhaps isn't very hygienic.

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