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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

any toddlers not talking?

39 replies

mummy2ashton · 11/12/2006 15:53

my ds is 23 months old and not talking. i am considering setting up a website with a forum for toddlers and children slow to speak. would anyone be interested in something like this? there doesn't seem to be one currently.
we could have articles on speech, sign language, games to help speech, etc etc. what do you think?

OP posts:

nogoeswithbellson · 11/12/2006 16:13

My ds is talking so it is not something that I require but I do think it is a fab idea

fizzbuzz · 11/12/2006 16:26

I think it's a good idea as well. Ds didn't start talking until he was 2 1/2........now age 12, never ever stops.....

winterWOMBAland · 11/12/2006 16:37

I think it's a great idea. My ds is having speech therapy and although he has really come on in the past year, it would be nice to have somewhere to chat about things with parents who are going through the same experiences etc...

bringmeashrubbery · 11/12/2006 16:49

good idea. My 27m ds is slowly starting to talk but not in torrents as you would expect. Be nice to share experiences with others...

Stockingsofdinosaurs · 12/12/2006 11:11

Yes please! Have just posted about my 22m old, would be good to see some advice on the chain of referrals to specialists (ie where to start etc), what different specialists do, links to articles on all sorts of SALT problems but generally lots of anecdotes about it all working out fine in the end too .
Oooh what would you call it?
www.nottalkingyet.org
strongsilenttypes.com

ellanatal · 12/12/2006 11:23

i'd love something like that! my ds (2.2) has so little to say its worrying and when he does speak he says things like "j-j-j-juice" and "c-c-c-car" - it doesnt seem like a stammer but he just thinks thats the right thing to say! sould we correct him or will he learn the right thing in time? a forum would really help with such things!
But he's my 2nd dc and i just keep thinking y dd speaks really well so hopefully he will in the end too!

mumfor1standfinaltime · 12/12/2006 14:27

I would be interested. Am browsing mumsnet in the hope of finding other toddlers which don't say much, just to feel better!

Ds is 22 months but he is extremely tall for his age and people talk to him as if he can hold a full blown conversation 'hello there, what's your name' etc. He just smiles back or points at them and says 'what's that!'

Although he understands every command that we give him, such as sit down, let's put your shoes on, come on let's get in the car etc he says very little.
He says mumma, dadda, bus, star, ta, what's that, there, nanna and I think that's about it! He mainly points at things and grunts. At first I would get things for him, now I ignore the grunts and try to ask him what he wants. He has never said any words for food. If he wants milk he says 'ta da'.
I am expecting a visit from health visitor when he turms 2 and I am terrified!

mamalocco · 12/12/2006 14:48

Yep, put my name down. My dd2 is 21 months and can say 'bye' and that's it. Have been beating myself up recently thinking that as she's the third child, have I been ignoring her and how much do I actually talk that much to her without any distractions (ie dd1 and ds!). Don't think there is any real problem and I know she'll catch up in the end, but some ideas on what to do now to help things along (and ease my guilt) would be great.

DINOsaurmummykissingsantaclaus · 12/12/2006 14:56

My DS3 (aged 2.4) isn't talking and has a number of other behavioural oddities (he doesn't point either). He has been referred for assessment at the Complex Communications clinic run by local child development centre.

I would be interested in sharing experiences with others but I wouldn't want to worry anyone else too much. I think my lad has other issues as well as just delayed speech.

PeterJones · 12/12/2006 15:57

I have DS 18 months old who is really not saying anything. He babbles away to himself and us in his own incomprehensible language but he doesn't really say any words at all. When do I start worrying and who do I talk to? GP? Health Visitor?

belgo · 12/12/2006 16:01

My dd is nearly three and has a very limited vocabulary, partly due to the fact that she is being brought up bilingual. I would be very interested in the site, could also have information on how being biligual effects speech development.

Stockingsofdinosaurs · 12/12/2006 18:00

I knew a bilingual girl who spoke astonishingly complex English before the age of 2. She spoke English at nursery and German at home with her mum. HTH eliminate a factor .

mumofhelen · 12/12/2006 20:03

My dd is 2 on Friday and she barely says a word. Several mothers at the toddler groups I attended/attend so kindly made the remark that she's not talking as much as she should and that they would be worried if she were their child. This in turn made me worried, so went last week to health visitor, whereby dd had her first conversation. Although she doesn't speak clearly, when health visitor asked, "what's that?" pointing to different animals, dd named them all (12 animals in total) - cow, sheep, dog etc and would make the noises too - mooow, baaaa, whoof. I got a very odd look from the health visitor who said I was expecting too much and that dd is on track speech wise. Back home, though, she doesn't speak/talk - and neither does she speak or talk at toddler clubs or groups. She can talk when she wants to - with the health visitor, they were playing peekaboo together, and it was dd who asked the health visitor "where's it gone? where's teddy gone?" Yet back home - or more like outside health visitor/doctors appointments - she refuses to talk or speak. I too, am at a loss as to how to encourage dd to talk more.

ellanatal · 12/12/2006 20:59

Dont think being bilingual itself affects their speech - my dh is german and he speaks only german at home but my dd spoke really good english at 2 - her german was a bit slower to come -she's now 5 and fluent in both. But as i wrote in my previous post my ds1 is rubbish at talking - think it depends on the child rather than the bilinguilism.

Stockingsofdinosaurs · 12/12/2006 21:05

LOL MumofHelen, my ds (22m) shocked me last night with a never-before-seen charm offensive (eye contact, smiles and simpery sounds) in order to try and steal my dinner. Just shows a lot of it is simply personality, he doesn't think people are worth bothering unless there's something in it for him.

futurity · 12/12/2006 21:11

mumfor1standfinaltime...i could of written your post! DS2 is also 22 months and doesn't say much at all. "Daddy", "oh dear" "big hug"(guess what he watches!)"there" and thats about it. His big brother is almost 5 and talks for England so i am sure that doesn't help although DS2 does speak more when DS1 not around. I suppose I just figured that he would start talking in his own time and not worry about it but then I hear children only a few months older talking really well and I wonder whether he will ever get that clear with his speech.
Anyway...waffling on (unlike him..although he does jabber gibberish!)..I think a webiste is a good idea!

LadyOfThePoinsettias · 12/12/2006 21:17

ds1, 17months says the following:
'urghh, dirty'
'daddy'
'mummy'
'goddy' (his nick name for ds2)
'wee wee'
'goggy' (dog)
'nin nin' (nanny-my mum)
he once said 'it's raining' but has never said it again.
he mostly babbles on as if he knows what he is talking about and is explaining it to you and is quite animated.
i guess he is on track? i thought he should be saying more?

Lizzylou · 12/12/2006 21:25

I do think that a forum would ease the worries of panicking Moms, I would have loved it!
Just to put a few minds at ease....my DS (2yrs 9mths) only really started talking properly at 2yrs 4mths, when we potty trained him. Before that we knew he could say words but he was too lazy and/or too shy to speak much at all. Other people made us more worried but potty training seemed to give him the confidence to express himself. Now, I sometimes wish I could go back to the more silent days.......he never stops talking and I have been told that he has advanced speech for his age.
Try not to worry.

Peridot30 · 12/12/2006 22:32

ive posted on this topic before. My dd was 3 in October and really only started talking singular words in April. However now7months later she constantly chats away. Just wish i had a remote control to turn her volume down sometimes.

Dont worry about it they all develop at different ages. My ds was a very early talker and this did get me a bit worried about dd.

lackofgravitas · 12/12/2006 23:02

If you could find some decent factual information, it'd be good (for the website) ... I've picked up all sorts of snippets that have helped me not to worry TOO much, but not sure of the reliability of all of them. It can be difficult when you only have a small set of children to compare/contrast your own with - my daughter is blessed with some verbally talented peers, so when she had a vocabulary of about twenty words at 21 months I was fairly concerned. A year on, her pronunciation is still idiosyncratic, but she talks away like nobody's business. She's had real leaps in development at various points over that year.

Didn't get much sympathy from my parents with all my fretting - my brother was nearly five before he really talked, and has turned out okay!

FairytaleOfNewNORKSBRIDE · 12/12/2006 23:37

My DH didn't speak until he was 3. And neither did Einstein!

Lots of good advice here already!

singsalot · 13/12/2006 00:06

my ds (2 and 7 months) has managed to concern the hv enough to have him referred, he now has 2 x 1 hr sessions at a centre for children with "additional needs"

in Feb we are supposed to be gettig observed playing together to see how we interact, think it is called "parent/child interaction" or some such thing, I do feel very much like I have failed him, my dd (5) is a non stop chatterbox, and you wonder how anyone gets a word in

I am constantly worried about him, I waver between thinking the hv's have got it wrong and deciding he has some severe disability that I can't see....., it would be good to have somewhere to chat about this, I am quite isolated because I am just getting to know the area we are living in, I don't really feel supported or informed, just as if I am jumping through hoops for health professionals

, I think it is very hard not to compare our dc

"In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep." Einstein said this when he was 4 I think

Stockingsofdinosaurs · 13/12/2006 09:18

I believe the 'norm' is to have approx 50 words at 24m. My dd did, I wrote it all down although only I could understand her I knew she was contextually consistent. My DS (22m) has used some words once or twice in context (shoe, Thomas, there y'are) and that's it, he occasionally repeats the syllables as gng, eg I sing 'toothbrush time' and he sings 'gng gng gng.' BUT I know he understands everything which is why I only really worry when other people (eg HVs) comment. I really think it's about personality in his case, he rarely shares things even with me - he's not interested in people's opinions and generally too busy to talk.

perfumelady · 13/12/2006 11:24

i think it's very true you shouldn't worry to much children's speech really does develop at differant stages for differant children, both my girls were early speakers around 2 they had a wide range of vocab where as my son was 3 before he said anything that we could understand.

i have two friends who both have 4 year old daughters both these girls never spoke a word never gave eye contact both mums were really worried as all there friends children were speaking loads both these girls started playgroup with no speech and then after about a month of playgroup they both started speaking and now they don't ever shut up, you wouldn't beleive that they are the same quiet toddlers that they were.

i have a nephew who is 3 he has a vocab range of 5 words he has had a hearing test which was fine he is very inteligent. he is not a very good eater which i swear has something to do with the problem he has, he dribbles a lot and just grunts, autisium has been mentioned to my sister in law which is a shock and a concern and she has been told it would be advisable to teach him sign language. i think a website designed to help with just minor concerns and more serious issues with links to research on such things as signing, autism and deafness etc would be invaluble to parents with children with these problems. my sister in law is beside her self with worry at the moment as she has no idea what the problem is and i think she needs to be able to speak to other mums who have been where she is now.

mumfor1standfinaltime · 13/12/2006 12:36

It is nice to hear that other parents worry about speech!
Futurity - glad I am not alone on this one! I guess as ds is my first and I don't have anymore children, I just don't know how to 'compare' ds. He is very bright and full of chatter which doesn't make any sense, but won't speak many words. He won't wave bye bye or say bye bye. I have noticed the last few weeks he has said a few more things, I sat and wrote a list! I think sometimes I forget what he can say.
One thing he is good at is pointing at letters. He has a vtech Alfie bear and he knows most of the letters and points to them.

I am now thinking of the times when I thought he would never crawl...never walk...lol.

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