nearly 2 my kid is an asshole

[booblecatcher]

Can someone please advise what's the average age from and until MOST kids go through their "ass-hole" stage.
My daughter was the perfect baby, and is a pretty good toddler, but as the saying goes, when she's nice she's very nice but when she's bad she's evil!!

Please no replies about how your kids always been amazing, doesn't really help! Or how your kid is 6 and kills puppies, I'm just looking for a general overview of an average naughty child as I only have one and have no other experience of kids. Thanks! :D

I am the proud and loving owner of one ds (serious ever-loving Jesus jumped up infuriating rage-inducing know-it-all back-chatting little four yearold) and a 14 mo dd (still to test me but I just know it's coming as she has my exact brow frown already)

If anyone has that little magic pill where you don't go nuclear after seventy thousand times of being asked the same question can you please market it because I will buy stocks and shares.

Oh wait

Doesn't exist

Join a long queue op and wait it out... Noone has the answer. I swear my four year old does my head in briefly most days. But ten minutes later, after I've asked him if the elephant is going to get into his pyjamas instead (or insert any ridiculous scenario) he is so lovely and my sweet ds again I could eat him up.

Argh, the rage/love. Who knew it was reserved for your own dc and not the knob you thought was the love of your life at 17.

I think three is more ass holey actually, and nearly seven.

Terrible twos is cute and laughable until you've hit the fucking fours and they want to argue the toss about every single dinner time. Which they then carry on doing until they are seven.

Can you tell I've had a bad evening !!

Honestly just shouted at mine for whining about having to eat ! Them had a great evening of snap and reading....so it's not all bad just seriously irritating and draining

I felt so smug that I got away lightly during the terrible twos...but the threenager is driving me insane. Yy to the constant questioning and arguing, argh! Sorry op, not what you want to hear!

And yes, I clicked on this thread because I knew calling a 2 year old an arsehole would cause a rumpus

My 2 year old is a pita at times.

You need to take a long look at your parenting style.

AussieMum, really loved your post.

OP, you're absolutely right they can be asshats.

Not sure what is really going on with this thread but I am going to use some of the tips on my 22 month old dd

Will rehearse the shipping forecast to recite to her when she is screaming about the wrong shoes or dinosaur got wet or some similar catastrophe

If it helps op my 10 yo is only really trying once a week or so. My 17yo is just starting to become human again after a visit from the exorcist My 12 yo is just starting the teen version of toddler dom so by my reckoning you should get a year or two off before the really difficult bit starts

Lol at all the people who think 2yo can't be deliberately naughty on here though, have none of you seen a 2yo chuck their cup off the highchair to get you to pick it up and all those games (actually younger than 2 probably). They are doing something to get a response, they know that the cup shouldn't be thrown on the floor - which is why it's so funny - but they do it anyway, they are engaging in unwanted behaviour, knowingly, therefore they are being "naughty". It's a perfectly normal stage to go through so why get all stressy, a spade is a spade afaics.

When a child throws a cup they are learning so much - how things fall, what things break, what people do, it's a big learning experience. They have to repeat it to learn it, like they do other things, like pressing a button or scrunching something up or pushing a car. Repeat, repeat. It's called cause and effect and is an essential part of human development. When their main caregiver believes that's naughty behaviour and stifles it, they hinder the child's development. It's not rocket science, it needs patience but once you understand what's going on in their heads you won't find it such a chore.

PMSL - oh yes, once you've let them throw that cup x many times, you'll be laughing and applauding little Tonquil and telling your friends he'll be a rocket scientist in no time!

Oh wait...

But if he's spent a whole mealtime throwing a cup, the idea is that after dinner you go and throw a ball together its about meeting a need

Yes, I have a 2yo who can be a bit of an arsehole at times.. Like the times he has had plenty of attention but then asks for a bowl of crisps and empties them all over the floor.

They constant mind changing and tantrumming is wearing too. I know he can't think logically till he's at least 3 but it's still annoying when you're trying to get on with every day life with 2 more DC to look after.

Imo, they get more rational as they get older but each stage rings challenges. Crazy, feral behaviour at 2, less feral but more argumentative at 3 (threenager), slightly better at 4 but much more intelligent and therefore able to put you in your place more often.
Even my 7 yo has silly moments and random tantrums but is on the whole easier to deal with than a 2yo..

Of course with age the hilarious stuff gets more frequent too

Oh my giddy aunt.

Giddy who now?

Hi I haven't read all the posts but I hv a toddler who has meltdowns. I remember seeing a paedatrician on TV with an amazing way with little chn. I found his name is Harvey Karp and he wrote a book called The Happiest Toddler on the Block. I intend to get it - via my Christmas request list! Anyway his youtube vids are worth a look.

Willk, yup they learn that stuff and they learn how to manipulate, how to control, how to many other things, all stuff they need to learn. At a certain point though they have learnt all that stuff - but they don't stop, there's no switch in the toddler brain that says "yup I understand that now" they keep on. Then the parent (a good one anyway) starts saying no and they start learning other things like boundaries, consequences etc, again all important stuff. Saying no is not the same as stifling and being naughty isn't the same as being bad. Toddlers are perfectly capable of being naughty.

Yes I'm ure when she's 14 she'll search mums net and see I called her an ass-hole and think her whole lifes been a lie!!...I think not, as I'll bring her up to be a balanced human being with a sese of humour unlike you.
I'll jokingly call my teenage daughter a bitch to her face. Her general response is to inform me that I can't tell her how to live her life. It doesn't seem to have effected her self esteem or our relationship (both of which are good) at all. Also, she's not a bitch any more than any of the rest of us and was never a nightmare teen.

Somebody (my mum) gave me the wonderful advice that you should approach dealing with toddlers by thinking of it as wild animal training. They can't be verbally reasoned with, and physical restraint only works up to a point. I'd say that this phase lasts until they're about 4-ish. Sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less, depending on the individual child. In my experience, with my own and other children, 1.5 to 2, and 2.5 to 3.5 are worse than the bits around them.

imo, what they're learning to manipulate when they throw cups is not the cup it's their parents. If they want to throw things then they can do it at other times. I would never play the throw-it-pick-it-up game with my daughter,because I'm mean, and she has a far better grasp of physics than I do most people I know.

To answer your actual question, the assholiness seems to generally last from 2-4, with days of occasional beauty and wonder that help you remember their good side on the shitty days.
My DN's quite literally did this, both boys turned into tantrumming gits on their 2nd birthdays, and snapped out of it around their 4th birthdays.
DS1 is 3.5 and still firmly ensconced in assholery, but he started at 1yo so perhaps isn't the best example.

I actually just laughed out loud at ass-hole with a hyphen

Reminds me of the thread where someone said that calling your toddler a twat (on an anonymous forum, which said child can't read) was the same as punching it in the face.

My DS was an asshole (note, no hyphen) between 18 months and 3. There were many times I would have loved to defenestrate him. He's nearly 5 now and can still be assholey but he's a person and people are sometimes assholes. Little children are very unreasonable at times and it's bloody frustrating, but that's what forums like this are here for - to express your frustration in a safe and adult way and hope that someone understands and not try and imply your parenting skills are lacking.

Sympathies, OP. I probably was slightly smug when my eldest was younger. My DD1 was lovely at 2. Barely a tantrum, friendly, loquacious and amenable. Adorable at 3 as well. Now she's 4, at school, and the mardiest, stroppiest child ever. She HATES me (seriously, she screamed that in my face yesterday) and has started hitting me and her baby sister. Hard. I'm trying very hard to keep calm in the face of extreme provocation, succeeding at the moment thank goodness.

I think it's stress over starting school tbh, but knowing what's causing it doesn't help when they're in the midst of the screaming abdabs, and you can't hear yourself think. I'm going to try filming her next time, thanks Harold.

I don't know if it does pass, for some kids. Eldest is mostly lovely but a very sensitive child, always has been. Takes things very personally, for example asking her to pick up her coat off the floor elicits "You think I'm baaaaaaaad" and devastated sobs . Youngest (nearly 2) has proper toddler tantrums but they pass and she's back to her sunny, bumptious self straight after.

It doesn't help that my DH is really inconsistent with discipline so I'm nearly always the bad guy, apart from the instances where he gets shouty and then I have to calm everyone down.

Reminds me of the thread where someone said that calling your toddler a twat (on an anonymous forum, which said child can't read) was the same as punching it in the face.

but hahahahaha!

I'll jokingly call my teenage daughter a bitch to her face.

Hilarious.

Hilarious.
She usually does laugh when I say it, you're right.

Im really enjoying this thread!!