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Original poster

nearly 2 my kid is an asshole

137 replies

booblecatcher · 29/11/2014 23:14

Can someone please advise what's the average age from and until MOST kids go through their "ass-hole" stage.
My daughter was the perfect baby, and is a pretty good toddler, but as the saying goes, when she's nice she's very nice but when she's bad she's evil!!

Please no replies about how your kids always been amazing, doesn't really help! Or how your kid is 6 and kills puppies, I'm just looking for a general overview of an average naughty child as I only have one and have no other experience of kids. Thanks! :D

nearly 2 my kid is an asshole
OP posts:
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FuckyNell · 29/11/2014 23:43

Hey of course 2 year olds can be right liitle gits. Sometimes accidentally on purpose. Sometimes just on purpose.

Have you never watched toddlers and tiaras? Grin

WillkommenBienvenue · 29/11/2014 23:44

Your child will stop behaving ass-holey when you do. Nobody wants to get to 14 and find out that their mother called them an ass-hole with a hyphen when they were only 2 and posted a photo of their daughter crying.

You need to really take stock here and examine your position as your child's protector and nurterer. It's your job to see her through this time in a calm and reasonable manner and make her feel she can depend on you. Calling her names behind her back is a symptom of someone who really just doesn't get motherhood.

Don't dress it up as being jovial, it isn't.

HaroldLloyd · 29/11/2014 23:44

It's not laziness to wonder how long a "phase" lasts. It's something I've asked loads of friends.

Nor did she say she couldn't deal with the behaviour.

And some days it makes sod all difference working out what they want, because they can't bloody have it can they.

unclerory · 29/11/2014 23:45

All three of mine were particularly angry and frustrated just before they started speaking well enough to be understood. I guess it was just very annoying not being able to communicate what they wanted, especailly when they could understand us. Once we could understand they were asking for a drink or food or a story or whatever things got a lot easier.

Asshole is tame, I maintain all 2 years olds are psychopaths, if they weren't so damn cute they'd be in trouble.

HaroldLloyd · 29/11/2014 23:45

It's not her daughter for a start. And for gods sake how in the name of God will she ever find out. I mean really.

Original poster
booblecatcher · 29/11/2014 23:46

I think as babies they can get away with the "there just trying to communicate what they want" as that's what they're doing...but she's nearly 2 and communicates quite well exactly what she wants, ...all the chocolate, 700 teddies and a live living room performance of Mr.Tumble allll day long.

I'm well aware it's a bad age as I stated, I just wanted to know what is a normal time for this to last, yes I know it can last until there 20 or for 2 days, I wanted an overview.

Obviously she's my daughter and the love of my life I think 90% of the time she's the best person in the entire world, but there's that 10% when she just does stuff she knows will get her in to trouble completely on purpose, not even stuff she wants to do because it's fun, she's just pushing boundaries.

And as for using choice words, that's my personality, I'm quite sure most people talk like that amongst friends jokingly, I won't edit myself for mums net and if you're offended you don't have to comment.

OP posts:
DarylDixonsDarlin · 29/11/2014 23:47

Haha yes that is true Harold, it doesn't matter if I understand that she wants to eat washing liquid capsules cos they look pretty - not gonna happen Wink but if I can understand what is interesting her about them, I can help her fill the need to explore them, with another activity.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 29/11/2014 23:47

Willkommen it isn't her daughter's photo. She said already

Owllady · 29/11/2014 23:48

Looks like you've had to tolerate more than one asshole today :o

Toddlers are testing :)

HaroldLloyd · 29/11/2014 23:49

Grin Owl lady.

FuckyNell · 29/11/2014 23:49

What a load of sanctimonious shite

elfycat · 29/11/2014 23:49

It is not wrong to look at a tantruming two year old and wonder if exorcism might be the answer.

It is not wrong to lock yourself in the bathroom for two minute (take a cup of tea in with you, you might even drink it while it's hot) if the 2 year old is somewhere safe.

It is not wring to think all the evil thoughts and names you like and even to post them on a forum.

Have some sympathy (obviously not a hug...this is MN after all) and a pat on the back for doing such a good job that your child is meeting emotional developmental milestones. Now deep breath, handle it to the best of your ability and you will come through this alive (though maybe slightly scarred in the presence of shrieking)

MeMyself I don't believe in excellent parenting as the source of loveliness in children. I think the fact that you smug proves that you either don't have children, had just the one, or have those rare beasties that are lovely and malleable from day 1. Don't have any more children.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 29/11/2014 23:49

You called her an asshole. .with a hyphen Shock

LOL

HumpsLumps · 29/11/2014 23:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DarylDixonsDarlin · 29/11/2014 23:53

Wonders who the sanctimonious was directed at...

Original poster
booblecatcher · 29/11/2014 23:53

Can I just say I'm a big girl and know some people have nothing better to do than try and cause conflict, I take no notice of in sighting comments by bored idiots! As most people have locked on it's light hearted and yes I do deal with her behaviour in a mothering manner.

Yes I'm ure when she's 14 she'll search mums net and see I called her an ass-hole and think her whole lifes been a lie!!...I think not, as I'll bring her up to be a balanced human being with a sese of humour unlike you.

OP posts:
imme · 29/11/2014 23:53

In our house 2 was a bad age but 3 was distinctly worse, sorry OP! We had a slight turning point at 3 and a half though but now at 4 still challenging at times. Very similar for families that we know. We have found that at 2 it was the lack of communication that made it worse whereas later it was major stubbornness and pushing boundaries. At two time out and naughty doesn't really work yet but distraction and removal from situations can help. Also try to understand if there is an issue that she just cannot express yet.

Thumbnutstwitchingonanopenfire · 29/11/2014 23:54

Mine can be too.
He's currently going through a delightful phase of biting his big brother at every opportunity while playing. He's not hurt, he's not angry, he's not frustrated - he just gets over-excited and then BAM - the teeth come out. DS1 has some really nasty bruises from it (they're pinch bites, last but one created a nasty blood blister).

Can't stop him, can't work out why he's doing it, HATE this phase. :( Angry

WillkommenBienvenue · 29/11/2014 23:54

OP they will be 'only trying to communicate' until they are well out of adolescence. Your job is to read them, understand what they want to communicate and help them make sense of the world. You can't respond by ignoring it and hoping it will go away you need to face up to what's happening and make it work for both of you.

When children want attention they usually need it, it's not something they do as an indulgence. When they constantly push boundaries it is usually a symptom of not connecting with their parent well enough and feeling that this is the only way of getting their parent's attention.

HaroldLloyd · 29/11/2014 23:54

I used to film DS and he loves watching them when he calms down.

His favourite is a time when he had toast and I had toast, and he wanted whatever toast I had and whatever toast he had became instantly second rate and disgusting.

Or the one he had when I wouldn't let him have a kitchen knife.

HumpsLumps · 29/11/2014 23:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HaroldLloyd · 29/11/2014 23:55

Wow there are a hell of a lot of toddlers out there who aren't connected with their parents then ey. Hmm

Finola1step · 29/11/2014 23:56

Well in answer to your general questions re timing and when will it stop...

I found that the "terrible twos" can start from 18 months. It settles down after about 9 months or so. Then arrives the "Threenager" who really does give you a glimpse into what life with a teenager will be like.

4 is lovely, until they start school and they are shattered.

5 is great.

6 is whiny.

HumpsLumps · 29/11/2014 23:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fruitloopsandfruitshoots · 29/11/2014 23:57

Goodess, people need to lighten up!!

I don't have an answer to your question as my DS is 23 months and well and truly in the throes of 'terrible twos.' Showing no sign of coming out the other side any time soon!

My DS is very good at communicating what he wants, but this is rarely helpful. For example, today he threw a full tantrum because I wouldn't let him play on the floor in the middle of a car park. Last week he threw a tantrum because the dog was looking at him and he didn't want him to. Yesterday he threw a tantrum because I wouldn't let him pull the cats tail. The other day he threw a tantrum because I gave him toast for breakfast, even though he had asked for toast! Sometimes they are just completely unreasonable, and it matters not a jot whether you can understand them or not, you just cannot grant their wishes- but they do not get it!