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Original poster

How to get 5 year old dressed for wedding

42 replies

newrecruit · 27/07/2014 09:45

My DS2 is very 'funny' about his clothes. Hates anything restrictive, buttons, zips etc.

Refuses jeans (not a problem in the case obviously) and tends to live in t shirts and joggers most of the time.

It used to be easier when he was smaller as their were plenty of lined, elasticated trousers about that looked smart.

We have a family wedding soon and have no idea what to dress him in. He says he will not a shirt or proper trousers.

Now he will wear school trousers so, as a last resort, he can wear those. Do you think a smart polo shirt will be acceptable (he will wear one for school but not at home)

Any tips for getting him dressed without massive meltdown?

Trial runs or go in cold?

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imustcleanthefishtank · 27/07/2014 10:57

Not ideal I know but how about a tuxedo print onesie, I've seen them for this age too but can't remember. So he looks smart but is comfy as that's all that matters. Also a bit of fun and people will think he looks cool!

Politelydeclining · 27/07/2014 11:06

I have to say I'd be a bit [shocked] about a 5yo in a onsie at a wedding.

If it's the best you can do school trousers and a polo shirt would be acceptable.

donkir · 27/07/2014 11:39

H & Mdo some lovely smart clothes. We had a summer wedding and my son wore some lovely chino shorts (they have some elasticated waist ones in at the mo) and a smart short sleeve shirt. But a nice plain polo would look just as good.

gymboywalton · 27/07/2014 11:41

when my son was five he wore a pair of cream linen shorts and a matching waistcoat to a wedding with a little whie short sleeve shirt underneath, and sandals.

TeWiSavesTheDay · 27/07/2014 11:43

Next and a few other shops do grey chinos - which are really just smarter school trousers! You could always tell him they are new for going into next year at school Wink I think a smart polo shirt would be okay with that at 5.

Original poster
newrecruit · 27/07/2014 11:50

Hmm. I think I object to onesies - I've realised that 5 is my cut off point these kind of things.

I think smart polo shirt might be the way ahead, although the wedding is late September so might be chilly.

As you can see, I'm fretting in advance!

OP posts:
Sirzy · 27/07/2014 11:50

I would say at 5 does it matter? As long as you make an effort to wear something smart then surely the more important thing is he is comfy/happy?

School pants and polo shirt sounds fine.

imustcleanthefishtank · 27/07/2014 11:52

Then I guess you've never dealt with a sensory meltdown, it's clothes! As I said it's not ideal and not what I'd want either but the last thing you want as a parent is the day ruined over some clothes. Sorry OP it's seems my suggestion was crap! But hey it's still cute!

How to get 5 year old dressed for wedding
imustcleanthefishtank · 27/07/2014 11:55

Crossed posts there. Yes trousers and polo will be fine

Original poster
newrecruit · 27/07/2014 12:13

Actually it is a great idea for the evening! I shall investigate.

He does have sensory meltdowns which I'm sensitive to.

However, he is happy to wear a school uniform so that's my 'smart' benchmark Grin

OP posts:
RitaConnors · 27/07/2014 12:15

I think school trousers and a polo shirt it totally fine.

CatWithKittens · 28/07/2014 09:22

I am afraid that at 5 I would expect a child to do what he is told for an occasion like this - I think that is quite old enough to be beginning to learn that sometimes people have to wear funny/odd clothes or clothes we would prefer not to wear because it is somebody's special occasion and we want to make them happy. That having been said I would encourage a measure of choice on a shopping trip, within limits which I/DH decide and then find some lesser occasion in advance of the wedding or just have a treat outing, limited to DH, siblings and me, on which the clothes would be worn and, I hope, become associated with pleasure. I suspect it might be more difficult with teenagers, who may want to reject all the efforts we have made over the years to socialise them, but when they are younger and I don't think 5 is too young to start, though others will no doubt flame me, I think we are not only entitled but have a duty to try to put in place the basics of behaviour, which still include dressing appropriately for an occasion. (I don't want my sons growing up behaving like certain politicians who put their own image before their good manners and respect for their host.)

UniS · 29/07/2014 08:29

School trousers are perfectly acceptable as "smart" on a young school boy. With a clean (new) smart polo shirt he will be fine.
IMHO printed on ties/ Tuxedo/ etc shirts are naff.

Frontier · 29/07/2014 08:43

IMO, for little ones an pair of long linen shorts, school trousers or chinos and a polo shirt is fine, if not better than dressing them up in a ridiculous adult costume.

Definitely no "printed" shirt and tie business.

Original poster
newrecruit · 29/07/2014 09:00

Catwithkittens I completely agree with you, and we have already started having those conversations.

They adore the bride and her partner so will be keen to make them happy. We are seeing them this weekend so I am going to ask them to talk to both boys and say how happy looking smart would make them.

Son1 is 8 and has had a stern lecture about how actually I would rather live in pyjamas but it's not always an option Wink

I fear it will be too cold for shorts, which is a shame.

OP posts:
Bedsheets4knickers · 29/07/2014 12:35

My son was page boy last wkend, I worried myself mad about getting him ready as he hates a lot of clothes. I ended up buying him a remote control car that he could have after he'd got dressed. Worked a treat x

DeWee · 29/07/2014 13:06

With ds, what I have done is taken him to M&S and piled the trolley with all things smart. Then he tries them on and chooses what is most comfortable for him to wear.
To my surprise he chose an outfit with a shirt and bow tie and rather liked a velvet blazer too!!
He then wore what he'd chosen without complaint. Shock

Normally he looks at you in disbelief if you ask him to put more than shorts and t-shirt on. I keep for that a plain white t-shirt with collar, a smart pair of shorts and a v-necked sleeveless jumper which looks smart enough for almost anything, and he doesn't realsie he's dressed up.

ElephantsNeverForgive · 29/07/2014 13:13

School trousers and a polo shirt, nice colourful smart shirt would be totally fine.

Since when did 5y boys own posh trousers and jackets.

Ties look smart and waistcoats cute, but only on boys who are happy to wear them.

Small DCs at weddings are much better being happy, comfortable and wearing things your not worried about.

I can't imagine anything worse than DD1 in a beautiful hired dress, at 5 she'd have been up a tree in the church yard.

Notso · 29/07/2014 13:35

At the annoyance of MIL who likes to see little boys in morning suit and top hat Hmm my boys have always worn shorts or chinos with a polo top or short sleeved shirt and a thin v necked cotton sweater if it is cooler for weddings.

Just a thought but could you choose something and get the bride and groom to give it to DS to wear for the wedding?

BertieBotts · 29/07/2014 13:38

Soft chinos or cords, and a soft shirt - perhaps with a vest or t shirt underneath if he doesn't like the buttons? It could be open collar.

I don't think it's really important what he wears as long as he isn't dressed as spiderman or something.

Does he like Doctor Who? DS was five when we got married and DH was desperate to dress him up in a mini Doctor suit, which he would have loved. We didn't have time (I'm quite glad Blush)

Davsmum · 29/07/2014 15:31

I think the 'issue' here is more why you allow a 5 year old to dictate what he will or will not wear.
There are occasions when a child has to 'fit in' and at 5 he is not too young to learn this.

Original poster
newrecruit · 29/07/2014 18:40

Davamum, of course I let a 5 year old make choices about his clothes.

Yes he has to fit in, which is why I'm bothering to post on here, not letting him attend in his football kit.

However there is a big difference between a happy, proud 5 year old and a screaming one refusing to get dressed.

That's why I'm asking for advice.

OP posts:
HerRoyalNotness · 29/07/2014 18:49

I'd take him shopping and show him the options of 'smart' clothes and let him pick from those. He has input, but he has guidelines on the type of thing he can wear. And then get him to wear them for a couple of hours at home every now and then before the day.

My 2 are the same, they live in comfy pants and tshirts. The youngest tries to refuse shorts with buttons, even if said buttons are only on the pockets and the waist is elasticated. It is draining tbh. But we don't go anywhere smart anymore, so it's not a big deal.

Last wedding we went to, they both wore suits. I found a nice, comfy one at Zara for DS2. They wore them with black converse, looked quite hipster!

BertieBotts · 29/07/2014 19:30

Don't worry new, some people just like to be judgy about everything. I mean in the scheme of things, clothes are not that big of a deal and it only takes a little bit of creative thinking to get around a solution. Sure you could make it into a big battle, but why?

Jaffakake · 29/07/2014 20:59

At a recent wedding we bribed ds with chocolate to get him in the new shirt we bought. Not my finest parenting moment, but given the circumstances around the wedding (my dad remarrying -long story) I didn't give a hoot!