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How to get 5 year old dressed for wedding

42 replies

newrecruit · 27/07/2014 09:45

My DS2 is very 'funny' about his clothes. Hates anything restrictive, buttons, zips etc.

Refuses jeans (not a problem in the case obviously) and tends to live in t shirts and joggers most of the time.

It used to be easier when he was smaller as their were plenty of lined, elasticated trousers about that looked smart.

We have a family wedding soon and have no idea what to dress him in. He says he will not a shirt or proper trousers.

Now he will wear school trousers so, as a last resort, he can wear those. Do you think a smart polo shirt will be acceptable (he will wear one for school but not at home)

Any tips for getting him dressed without massive meltdown?

Trial runs or go in cold?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
newrecruit · 29/07/2014 21:28

I'm not sure chocolate would work.

A shopping trip looks in order!

OP posts:
Davsmum · 30/07/2014 09:26

Nothing wrong in giving a child a choice of clothes at all - A choice within what you think is acceptable for the occasion.
Children tend to have a meltdown over things because their experience tells them, it works and they get their own way.
I cannot believe that a parent would resort to bribery, What does that teach a child?

newrecruit · 30/07/2014 19:09

It occurs to me that it's only considered bribery when discussing children.

There are plenty of occasions as adults when it would be described as cooperation and reciprocity. Quite often I'll drive somewhere so my husband can drink if it's something he's not that keen on & vice versa.

No difference really.

OP posts:
newrecruit · 30/07/2014 19:11

I admit though, on the clothes thing it is a fine line between 'sensory issues' and fussiness.

DS2 has always been far more sensitive to labels, fastenings & fabrics, even as a baby. You could put DS1 in a brussells bag and he wouldn't bat an eyelid.

OP posts:
Davsmum · 31/07/2014 13:37

Offering a child chocolate ( or anything else) to do what the child should be doing or be expected to do - is bribery. No way is that 'cooperation'
Totally different.

BertieBotts · 31/07/2014 16:18

A real meltdown is different to a tantrum and isn't put on.

cosmos239 · 03/08/2014 00:38

What about a kilt, kids dress ones are light synthetic and not scratchy and a jacobite shirt,
..the shirts that have lace up bits at the neck so are worn open so minimal skin contact. Or if seams are am issue cycling shorts under the smart trousers and wash everything worth fabric softener first. Fussiness over clothes which
Which my ds has in abundance! is v. Different to sensory issues with clothes which should be accommodated and gradually challenged as a physical difficulty would be.

tobysmum77 · 04/08/2014 06:37

Equally why would you dictate to a 5 year old what they wear? Clothes are really not that important and comfort is - I wouldn't wear something uncomfortable Confused .

OP I'm glad I've got girls in this instance its easier as dresses are comfy! dd refuses to wear jeans etc also.

Davsmum · 04/08/2014 13:31

You may not need to dictate what a 5 yr old wears in general - but there are occasions when a child will have to wear something they do not like.
They will have what they wear dictated to them at various times in their life by schools, or where they work.
Clothes CAN be important. FFS I have seen posts on Mumsnet where people say their child 'refuses' to wear a coat in the winter, when it is really cold.
When a 5 year old says he won't wear a shirt or proper trousers on an occasion - he is being fussy. It really isn't the sort of thing to be pandering to.

starlight1234 · 04/08/2014 13:41

Another suggestion..Do you have a friend or relative similar size who might have smart clothes. They sometimes love them if they belong to someone else.

CatWithKittens · 05/08/2014 21:53

I agree with Davsmum 100%. Clothes can still be important, depending on circumstances and jobs but, in any event, it does no favour to a child to bring them up to believe that comfort and what they want is more important than good manners and proper behaviour, perhaps especially as a guest. I really do not think that 5 is too soon to start to learn that lesson and children would be a lot happier in the long run if they were not allowed to think that the bigger fuss they make about something, the more they are likely to get their own way. That is surely not a good recipe for school, work, marriage, or personal relationships of any kind - and it is easy for them to think that if it works with little things it will also work with bigger ones.

tobysmum77 · 06/08/2014 20:13

I disagree there are loads of options for school uniform and workwear is a way way off. discipline is about picking battles and raising decent, empathic human beings. Not forcing little kids into waistcoats.

Princesselsaanna · 06/08/2014 20:49

I would say a massive no to school trousers. chino's, a polo shirt and some nice clean converse with a cotton v-neck if it gets cooler is perfect for a 5 year old at a wedding.

Sirzy · 06/08/2014 21:06

What's wrong with school trousers?

DS wore his school trousers on a formal evening on a cruise and looked perfectly smart enough!

SweepTheHalls · 06/08/2014 21:10

What about a grandad shirt like this shirt, looks comfy

Davsmum · 07/08/2014 12:21

discipline is about picking battles

No it isn't. Discipline is about love, consistency and firmness. You cannot confuse a child by allowing unreasonable behaviour on some issues but not others.
I hate this popular phrase 'Pick your battles' Something either needs dealing with or it doesn't.

You can be firm and teach a child something ( that is not unreasonable!) has to be - without 'forcing' them.

TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 07/08/2014 12:25

I think school trousers and a smart clean polo shirt is fine.

No one will notice. They only notice the real stand out stuff.

Can you remember what every child at the last (with child) wedding you went to was wearing. I can't

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