FUNNY THINGS THAT KIDS SAY.......(or is it just my kids...?)

[Nikki74]

Hi All,
I'm really new to mumsnet - I've got 3 children and have only just stumbled across it - I've obviously been missing out!!
Anyway, I just thought I would share this with you :- yesterday my 7 yr old daughter came home from school and told me that they had to draw a picture of Henry ville. 'Henry Ville??' I asked - 'I've never heard of him'. 'Well' she said, 'He's a very famous person in history'. I thought for a moment and suddenly it clicked 'Do you mean Henry VIII?'
It turned out to be Henry VIII after all, but she'd obviously read the roman numerals as 'vill' - bless her! It was so funny!

Also, a my eldest daughter (who was 3 at the time) was playing on our front lawn with next doors 3yr old son whilst I was pruning the rosebush (ok....yanking out a few weeds). There was a bit of a heated discussion going on which basically consisted of my daughter saying 'I DO' and next doors son shouting back 'NO YOU DON'T'. After a few minutes my daughter stomped over to me and said 'Mummy, Dean says that girls don't have willies, but they do cos I've got a red pair' - Needless to say - she was referring to her new, shiny WELLIES!!!!

Anyone elses children come out with any amusing little jems?

Bye for now,
Nikki
x

At a coffee morning in the village where I live, we explained to ds (3.5) that we were waiting to "talk to" our very genteel neighbour. After she had finished talking to someone, ds shouted "daddy you can torture the neighbout now" - silence descended over the hall!

In al ift with my ds aged 3 and a very manly looking woman...(at least i think it was a woman).
Obviously my son couldn't tell either as he started saying loudly "Mummy is that a lady with a daddy beard, or is it a man with boobies?"

gemmie that is soooo funny!!!

I was walking out of school this morning and was wearing my denim mini skirt and black tights and my long boots. A little boy and his Mum were walking in he said to his Mum "look at that strange lady Mummy".

I know I'm 34 but have now put the miniskirt away until next summer.

Not sure if this really counts but we get an almost never ending stream of questions from our Ds1. Some gems (answers on a postcard please!) include:
Do penguins poo on the ice?
Where do flies go when it rains?
How do ants know it is lunchtime?
Why don't fish drown?

And so on, and so on...
I am mentally exhausted and seriously considering some kind of general knowledge night class to keep up with him!

DP's Mum sent him to the shop when he was about 8 or 9 for some double cream.

He rushed into the house with two tubs to which he said "they didn't have double cream Mum so I brought you two singles".

Bless!!!!

jakeandbensmummy - is he 6 by chance?

DD said to DP the other day "Dad will there be a clown somewhere in the world taking his clown suit off at this minute?"

She's always coming out with things like that but gets very frustrated when we laugh.

Me and my ds1 who's 4 were standing in a busy queue last saturday afternoon in Boots waiting to pay for sanitary towels..(amongst other things)..when he shouts far too loudly
" Mummy why do you always wear them Bum Plasters""..the bloke behind me started laughing..yep i was mortified !

Zippety - god, he's only 3!! Is it going to get worse!!!!??
I loved your question about the clown...I love that they want to know everything but I just feel very simple-minded most of the day!

jakeandbensmummy - yes penguins do poo on the ice. My DS1 thought it was very funny, and looked like it was shooting icecream from it's bum.

thank goodness - one question answered...only 4,987,985 left and new ones added daily!!

An inquisitive child is an intelligent child....or so I am told - DD has always asked questions just like your DD though Jakeandbensmummy. We try our best to keep straight faces but she really sits there and wonders....so cute.

Hi I'm new to mums net and have to say this thread has made me laugh out loud and really cheered up my day! Just thought I'd add my own little gem - unbeknown to me DD2 (16m) was emptying my handbag in the sittingroom. DD1 (3) shouted out to me 'Mum babys got those things you stick up your bum!' On closer investigation it turned out that DD2 had being playing with a tampon.....

My mum died when dd1 was just two. Last time I went to visit her headstone in the crematorium grounds, lo was with me - I explained that this was my mum's special place for us to come and remember her - child squints at headstone and says 'mummy, was she very small?'

bump

anyone new got any new stories??

My friend was on lunch duty at our junior school the other day when a new little year 3 girl rushed up with her friend in tow, saying 'Miss, that boy over there just swore at us - he said the F word'
My friend called the boy over (he was a year 5, a mischievous rather than naughty type - will grow up to be a Del-boy)& asked him if he'd sworn - he looked totally surprised & said no, so she asked 'Well did you say anything to them?'
"I just said 'Hello, you foxy ladies!'
Friend was desperately trying to keep a straight face & suggested that wasn't really the thing to say to year 3's.

Yesterday in the middle of a busy temple (Hindu church) my DS, 2.4yrs, let out major trump and said 'daddy that was you'. Apparently they have a game where they accuse each other. Hmmm...can see a few of my rather proper friends upset when DS tries that on with their kids

oops just saw the time. was meant to be getting some ironing done...hours ago...this site and particularly this thread are addictive

just read some of these curlews kid " i predict a radish"
classic. v. funny

From ds, aged 3 - "Take it eeeeasy mummy!"
When I was starting to get tetchy.

DD aged 4: 'I know what germs look like cos I have eated my bogies hundreds of times.'

At planetarium, guide (student) wants to impress audience: 'And when Perseus kills Medusa, what comes out of her head? An animal that flies... that we see in the sky...'
DD (little voice in the darkness): 'A giraffe!'
Antoher little voice in the darkness: 'Penguins!'

SIL (to ds age2 ) would you like a drink ds?
ds - yes please aunty x
(me - glowing with pride at such a display of good manners)
SIL - okay what would you like?
ds - could i have a glass of wine please?

proud moment over - cloud of embarressment desends....

That reminds me of the time DD was at playgroup, aged 3.5 and the teachers were asking them all what their favourite drinks were & they were all saying 'milk...lemonade...coke..orange juice...'
'What about you DD?'
'Pina Colada!'
This was relayed to me at pickup time & I had to explain she meant the pineapple & coconut juice drink that Safeways called Pina Colada flavour...

dd(3yo) - mummy do dogs take catnaps?
mummy - yes, a catnap is just a little sleep
dd - how about pigs?

Overheard DD, 3yrs the other day "play acting" with a toy telephone as follows:

DD: "hello, Policeman? Policeman, my brudder is being very norty, can you come and get him. Okay. Bye."

DS, 18 mths, was looking at her very bemused whilst I was sniggering in the doorway