Life with a strong character child, advices pls, pls!

[shebnem]

I am a single mum with a very lovely 5 yrs old dd and I have no family around, I am on my own with her.
Some of you may remember I broke up with her father bcause of domestic violence and bfore and after that we had really difficult life with her in womens refuges etc.
She is a strong character. And at all difficult times I was the sole carer of her.
Life with her is not easy at home and outside.
At home I can only do normal house work, some of them. I cant do telephone calls etc, everytime she jumps and my blood goes cold. Every important-some of them very important has to wait till she starts to school which is making me anxious as some of them need early action. She stopped doing it for a while, but started again, anyway if she doesn?t do still cant call anyone, I feel stressed of it if she does again.
I thought of involving her at home with stuff to do but she is driving me mad at everything we do together, she is so insistent of everything she says, she wants, so I feel so much irritated. So it is hard for me to approach her.
At home I feel like a person who has stroke.
When we go out she gets exited so I feel stressed.
I feel embarrassed with the things she does when people around so I cant mix with people, which is bad too.
All of these depressing me I think. I don?t know what to do, this is a very hard life style for me and her I believe.
The schools will start and I don?t know how I will study with her.
I bought a byce for her a couple of months ago, but I couldn?t fix it dreading how I will go park with her.
I recently took her to holiday for 2 weeks only for her sake, I knew I wouldn?t relax there, and I was like a security guard, carer there. I had to watch her in the pool, she is handful, and mediate her with the children there, in my view she was starting all the arguments there by touching and little pushing, like trying to get their attention.
She is still doing things that I don?t like and have told not to do many times.
She is v picky at eating, cant touch fruit, doesn?t eat normal breakfast (tried my best).
Other than that she is smiley, happy faced, social, creative, etc.
I don?t know what to do, and I don?t know how long I can go on like this.
I want to have a normal life and work, I had a v good career bfore, but I feel v weakened now.
Advices pls, pls!!!!

Hi there

So glad that you are feeling more positive today. It's great to be able to post here on bad days. Sometimes I look back at my posts and wonder who wrote them! However, it helps to take the strain away when everything seems to be going wrong, and it must be especially useful when you don't have someone else around all the time to grumble to.

"If she sees some children around,to start a game like 'catch me' she touches them on arm to take attention and start the game. but some children dont like it, they look as 'why she touched me', or get angry to her and hit back where i have to mediate." I wish I could introduce your dd to my dss! Isn't it strange how few children recognise this as a sign of wanting to play??! I always say that it would help if my boys were dogs, as they would have big waggy tails to show what they wanted! It can be hard to make friends and start games, but it gets easier as their language develops.

thank you very much for your nice, supporting msg Notquitesotiredmum!
i liked it and read it a few times really.
from your msg i understand that you are a very good, understanding mother, and your children are very lucky for that.
yes i agree that our children are friendly, and i too wish we could introduce them to each other. i hope we will some day.
best wishes!