Indicators of having a Highly Sensitive Child - your dd or ds?

[Panman]

1. startles easily

2.complains about itchy fabrics on skin 3.doesn't usually enjoy big surprises. 4.learns betterfrom gentle correction than strong punishment 5.seems to read my mind 6.uses big words for his/her age 7.notices the slightest unusual odour 8.has a clever sense of humour 9.seems very intuative 10.is hard to get to sleep after a long day 11.doesn't do well with big changes 12.wants to change clothes if wet or sandy 13.asks lots of questions 14.is a perfectionist 15.notices the distress of others 16. prefers quiet play 17. asks deep thought provoking questions 18.is very sensitive to pain 19.is bothered by noisy places 20.notices subtleties in changes(appearances, environment 21.considers if it is safe before climbing high. 22. performs better when strangers aren't present 23.feels things deeply.

13 or more hits indicates the likelihood of HSC, or much fewer but very strongly.

These characteristics are equal in incidence between boys and girls, and approx. 20% of children have such consistent characteristics.

This thread may trigger parents to reflect on their child whom in some way appears a little 'different'.....

Above is from a book on the subject, and also relates to other threads on the site on HSC.

Any observations??

riab
oh I wish! I'd love to be one of those 'sensitive' sylee parents but sadly am stuck with doing my best not to damage ds2's sensitive psyche too much - he was born into the wrong kind of family really.
interesting to read other povs. my brother and sister are dyslexic and although my brother was never diagnosed, I would swear blind he is/was dyspraxic, but of course we had never even heard of that back then. In fact, I only googled it last year and you could hear the penny dropping. My sis is diagnosed bipolar and my dad almost certainly is too but undiagnosed. So we are a totally stable gene pool . That kind of backs up jimjams pov, that I would be wise to think in a wider area and rule out other stuff before deciding ds2 was just a bit on the sensitive side.
a different theory for you all: my sister is a buddhist and swears that ds2 is a very old soul, whose first few months of screaming were a protest against being sent back to do it all over again, and all his sensitivity since then is a sign of this poor soul that just keeps getting it wrong and reliving it all. I quite like that theory

PM, don't feel bullied about your post. There have been many posts on other threads that were much worse and quite a bit more personal. In comparison, yours is quite tame.

thanks jabs - but did ask for it to be removed as it didn't reflect well on me, for me, and no-one else. But thanks again anyway.

Morroco - we had similar thoughts on dd when she was much younger!

A friend of mine said she looked as if she has been here before......

many happy hours of introducing adult quandries and saying "now you'll be remembering this from last time!!"...oh how we laughed.

It WAS as if she was sitting in her high chair thinking "WTF? Not this shit again!"

pmsl paxman! we used to do the exact same thing. it was hilarious. ds2 was very unimpressed with it all and has very 'old' eyes. maybe now we're getting to the truth of it!

very possibly......

sorry for misspelling your name btw

lolEVERYONE tells me that dd is "like having an old lady around"

EVERYONE

DH's brother said "Yeah it's just like talking to our mum" (who is 70)

even people like the nursery staff which makes me think hmm is that quite professional?!?!

HMMM!

Riab, are you usually this nasty?

Actually, snide is a better word, I think.

Thanks Jimjams too. I appreciate your perspective on this.

I'm not quite sure why I've ended up being the bad guy on this thread to be honest.

At 2 months I had a child who was so tactile defensive he couldn't stand on grass with shoes on. Aged 7 he can walk barefoot on grass.
At 3 I had a child who couldn't go on a beach (he would run away screaming), at 7 its one of his favourite places to go for a walk.
At 4 I had a child who copuldn't go to an indoor swimming pool. At 7 I have a child who can tolerate being in the same building as people diving from boards (OK he can't do anything excelt stand in the pool with his hadns over his ear, but he can be there).
At 5 I had a child who would strip completely every time he got the tiniest drop of water on him- now he can tolerate all except the largest spills.

Now these are all extremes- but I live with ds2 who has a more toned down "normal" verison of those- (plus has the ones that ds1 couldn't have). I hope you see how many of those indicators are indicators of sensory hypersensitivity and how there is no need for hypersensitivities to rule a child's life or define who they are. Life is much easier if you can wear any fabric, if you can tolerate sitting next to someone who is touching your knee and if you can walk into a smelly sweaty classroom without gagging. You don't need a dx of anything to have those factors (ds2 doesn't and doesn't copmoe close to something diagnosable), but your life is a lot easier if they're dealt with.

Incidentally ds1 is autistic because he is hypersensitive (or more accurately his senses are unreliable), people who are dyspraxic are dyspraxic because they are hypersenisitve. It isn't the other way round- they're not hypersensitive because they're dyspraxic. Which is why you don't need to write off the experiences of someone with a dx as being irrelevant. If your child is ticking that list, and doesn't have or need a dx then they are simply experiencing a more toned down version of the same thing that someone with a dx is (or they are coping with it better). If someone with a "bad" version/experience of it can be helped, then so can someone with a less troubling dose of it.

I'm interested in knowing how to deal with hypersensitivities, definitely.

DS1 wouldn't go on the grass last year (albeit with shoes off). I wouldn't when I was his age. He can manage it now though (as can I - but I actually get a rash if I lie on grass - soles of my feet are OK, anywhere else flares up).

I am trying to phrase this extremely carefully and my greatest fear would be to insult ...

but I do wonder whether there may be an issue with finding a 'label' which 'explains' behaviours and standardises them compared to a a 'diagnosis' which potentially has associated treatments

I do believe any self-diagnosis of ourselves or our children is dangerous in the extreme particularly when they pertain to the psychological and behavioural .. one needs objectivity that comes from being an outsider (and an expert .. paed / psychologist / diagnostician)

I do understand the relief in having a 'name' for behaviours that concern us (both personally and as parents) .. I am sure that would be particularly comforting if the 'name' had positive connotations such as HSC

I think the negative postings towards someone like Jimjams who's educational credentials and personal experience do give her comments more credence than most of the rest of us proles (In this thread anyway ) only reinforces my very great concerns over this

Hunkery .. whilst not negating any of your other concerns I do have to say that it is extremely common for young toddlers to have a fear of grass .. its a fairly usual story to be able to pop them on a blanket in a garden or field safe in the knowledge that they won't stray off

(both of mine were like this as well as many of my friends' children)

unfortunately in most cases it doesn't last long

jimjams, my ds also has toned down, 'normal' versions of the things that you describe. he also used to sniff people and things, now it is just part of saying good night, he has to have a hug and a sniff and a kiss.
his sensitivites are also valming down with age, but we still have to cut off clothing labels, he hates loud places (while being quite loud himself, paradoxically)

He's still leaf phobic, Twig

I see what you're saying, I really do.

I certainly am not criticising JJ's credentials. I just think that they are slightly misplaced here, simply because not everything is completely comparable to the issues JJ knows most about, only in JJs immediate circle of having extreme mixed behaviours/problems close at hand.

Of course she knows much more than I do, and much more than I'd even care to know about behaviour, and all subjects pertaining to autistic spectrum, dyspraxia etc etc etc. I am very interested in the links and book recommendations already suggested.

But this thread isnt about JJ and her family/experience/knowledge as such and is certainly not an attack on her. Sorry if you feel that it is JJ. No offence was intended at all.

All in all, its definitely worth a discussion. Discussion of it has been most helpful. I just dont think its as black and white an issue as much as it has been suggested. Hence discussion good. Dismissal - not good.

Poking fun? Piss poor and utterly rude. Hope you are proud of yourself Riab. Give yourself a pat on the back for that one. Very considered post.

Pan, don't apologise for reacting - it was a childish provocation in the first place, so its hardly surprising you reacted similarly. People here don't have a clue about you or your circumstances. They only know your perceptions of your dd and are making assumptions about you on that basis. Ignore it

Thanks Jimjam, I will CAT you (once I figure out how!). Having persuaded the school that ds is not autistic, I'm now increasingly concerned that he may be dyspraxic and/or dyslexic! Probably mildly, but at the very least I'd like him to have some OT type help with his handwriting, and going down the paeds route didn't help much last time, so I would be very interested in what other options are out there. Although I should add that it's me who needs the auditory help, not ds! (although he may well do to, I guess)

How many times do I have to say I have TWO NT children. The one who fits this list is NOT ds1 (he is way past this) it is DS2. Who incidentally sounds very like Twiglett's ds2. Why are her experiences valid and mine not?

I am sick of being seen as someone who has no right to have a view on NT children- when I have not one, but two.

Panman posted a list of that IS a checklist for sensory integration dysfunction -whether you like it or not- it IS a checklist for SID (which can be found in perfectly NT children) and asked for observations.

I have observed.

Or perhaps someone could explain to me why that isn't a checklist for a hypersensiitive form of SID, because its ticking all the boxes.

hunker I can give lots of examples of ways in which you can help with hypersensitivity (mainly involving rubbing with different textures, massaging, using electric massagers and electric toothbrushes, spraying water, using hot and cold compresses, and hot and cold exposures) but to be honest if the hypersensiityivity is enough to be causing problems it is very likely that other senses willt be hypo. A complete sensory [program would be a better bet. DS2 joined in with ds1's and although it wasn;t designed for him it certainly helped for example.

dyslexia would tick lots of the boxes as well nooka- I'll keep an eye out for your email (I'm good at missing them- so do shout if I don't reply!)

JJ - sorry - thats what I meant when i said "JJs immediate circle of having extreme mixed behaviours/problems close at hand. "

I am well aware you have 2 NT children. You have said it many times. Thats what I meant about extreme mixed - Mix of NT and Autistic. I just didnt say it very clearly. .

Jimjams, I'm new to CATing, but tried "Jimjams2" and it bounced - should I use a different nickname?

I agree with jimjams and I am not meaning to belittle the fact that alot of children are highly sensitive, but isnt it more a personality trait rather than a special need as such? i know my NT ds is highly sensitive and so was I as a child (but my sister was chronically/terminally ill)

But maybe it is just easier to get perspective on things when you life is so different anyuway

ROFL i htought it wa s a BANK
there sa TLA for a shy kid?