Indicators of having a Highly Sensitive Child - your dd or ds?

[Panman]

1. startles easily

2.complains about itchy fabrics on skin 3.doesn't usually enjoy big surprises. 4.learns betterfrom gentle correction than strong punishment 5.seems to read my mind 6.uses big words for his/her age 7.notices the slightest unusual odour 8.has a clever sense of humour 9.seems very intuative 10.is hard to get to sleep after a long day 11.doesn't do well with big changes 12.wants to change clothes if wet or sandy 13.asks lots of questions 14.is a perfectionist 15.notices the distress of others 16. prefers quiet play 17. asks deep thought provoking questions 18.is very sensitive to pain 19.is bothered by noisy places 20.notices subtleties in changes(appearances, environment 21.considers if it is safe before climbing high. 22. performs better when strangers aren't present 23.feels things deeply.

13 or more hits indicates the likelihood of HSC, or much fewer but very strongly.

These characteristics are equal in incidence between boys and girls, and approx. 20% of children have such consistent characteristics.

This thread may trigger parents to reflect on their child whom in some way appears a little 'different'.....

Above is from a book on the subject, and also relates to other threads on the site on HSC.

Any observations??

" Now ds2 ticks lots on the list but doesn;t need extra help, sothem I'm back to not really seeeing the point of it,"

JJ, this does indicate to me that you are failing to read this thread other than in a "labelling, diagnostic" way, which is deliberately not the intention. I have, and other posters have, made it clear 'what the point' of talking about HSC, but it is swiftly appearing to me that you are wishing, perhaps subconsciously, to engage in some sort of 'labels' war. i.e ih a HSC is not as 'problematic as someone in my family then whats the point?
No, HSC do not need any "extra" help, and it isn't a "condition" and there isn't any "diagnosis" and it isn't a "label" and it isn't a "problem"....but I am pretty sure it will occur to you to ask therefore "what's the point? Well, read other posters in a non-competitive manner and you will see.

Jimjams, didnt i say exactly that in the first sentence of my very last post? [confused emoticon]

l-a-b-e-l repeat after me

I did say...."working with and making the best of" Not ignoring "a problem" at all.

Dysfunction is inappropriate (label?) for what we are talking about too IMO.

I object to being told I'm reading this competitively. People seem to forget I have two entirely NT children as well- one of whom ticks 15 features on the list. My concern is actuially that there are children out there being described as HSC, when in fact they have something treatable.

If that list is the descriptive list for HSC, then those children DO have a "problem", call it an issue, or a characteristic if you want, but they have something that can be helped- very simply.

Ds1 for example could never wear belts. WITHIN 6 WEEKS OF STARTING A sensory program he could. He could never wear fancy dress (nasty shiny fabrics, now he can. He could never wear a hat (so that ruled out horse riding etc). One sensory program later he can. Same with ds2 and the beach, he couldn't cope with it at all, now he can (although he's not keen), swimming we're working on- he's 100 times better than he was, and we'll see how he gets on wearing a shirt and tie on Tuesday (I predict tears, but we can work with it).

Oif there are other definitions of HSC then fine I am missing the point- but if that list is the definition then most of that stuff can be helped considerably. Which makes life that little bit easier.

My problem with this whole thing isn't that these children don't have any problems, but that if they are ticking lots of boxes on that list they do have any problem which are really really easy to help, but aren't being because they're being treated as some sort of extra precious being- who will then have to suffer the consequences of sensory over-stiumulation for the rest oif their lives.

It's incredibly common in children, BIBIC therapists will tell you they spot these children all the time in entirely normal situations and they're itching to get their hands on them to do something to help.

Generally over-sensitivities do calm down a bit with age, but easy to help at any age.

shoulod read do have problems which are really easiily blah blah blah.

Gosh this thread has shocked me a bit

My dd answers a strong YES to every single one of those points

She is not remotely "shy" - she is very confident

But she is extremely sensitive and seems to have an almost photographic recall of things in the house ("Ooh mummy, you've washed the floor!" "Mummy you've changed the words on the label on your baskets" (doh I know I am Anthea Turner)) - and a strong yes to everything, really. She often sits and 'thinks' for ages.

Like cq I also worry about her future mental health - there is a history of bi-polar disorders throughout the family (probably 1 in 4 have been diagnosed in both mine and DH's families)

bi-polar also tends to run in spectrummy families (so would quite possibly go with hypersensitivities- sensory problems are the "cause" of a lot of spectrummy conditions).

Anyway here's the out of sync child which is a good cheap way of building a sesnory programme (and won't be much different to something an OT would give you).

Was recently sent as lot of stuff about bi-polar in children- I'll link in here later for you, or I'll start a new thread, not now though, we have to swim.....

We definitely have a spectrummy family! Lots of 'geniuses' and academic record-breakers who can't tie their own shoelaces.

I have often considered alternate possible diagnoses for dd1 since she was very small and the paeds thought she had touch sensitivity issues causing food problems, and recommended certain sensory exercises. But she is extremely socially confident and incredibly attentive - can sit in a restaurant joining in with adult chat for 2 or 3 hours without flinching. So I thought that ruled out most problems. I will definitely buy that book as well though JJ. It's very interesting.

Thanks for the thread.

Actually want to emphasise this as reading replies again my posts seem to be have been completely misinterpreted.

My copncern about HSC, is that children are being assigned this category by parents when in fact they have genuine, treatable problems (sensory integration dysfunction) and therefore their life will be far harder than it needs to be. This isn't because I like to look at things negatively, but because that list coould be presented as a checklist for sensory integration dysfunction (which is why many children with say dyspraxia or AS would tick all the boxes as well).

I don;t believe that can be veiwed as competitive.

cross posted mp

She sounds like ds2 as well. Food issues can be very common with these sorts of conditions. Gluten, casein and salicylates being the main suspects. Neither ds1 or ds3 can tolerate gluten (they show self injurous behaviours on it it messes up their senses so much!).

I was sent a checklist for bi-polare re ds1- does;t fit him- but remarlkably like ds3! There often is a link though!

No, MP, HSC can be shy/robust - but the ones who do seem shy may actually not so - thet are not being shy/anti-social or anything else..they are being careful to 'deeply' process the information put before them, moreso than other kids.....andthis is really NOT about labelling any child...it is about recognising behavioural characteristics of those children that "stand out" from other for it, and , for me at least so far, 1.understanding their motivations better and resonding in a better way for it, and 2. not letting others label them as shy/backward/untrusting/difficult to communicate with, etc.

To me JJ wants a label and a diagnosis and a problem to "treat" otherwise it doesn't count. And 'object' away. Just stop reading the thread competitively please.

Hey there, PanMan. I missed your post earlier. You are very welcome for the information. I am so glad it has been helpful to you and your dd. I have to reiterate that after some incredibly subtle alterations in my responses/approaches to ds, our household has become so much calmer.

Sorry the thread has gone so wobbly, but (sigh) that's the way MN is sometimes.

Am learning this about MN. Just didn't think it would go so "wobbly" (nice) after less than 24 hours!!

"they are being careful to 'deeply' process the information put before them"

Whta on earth does that mean?

Will you please stop telling people who can and can't read this thread. I spent an hour on the phone last night to an expert in visual hypersensitivites and auditory hyposensitivities who lives in New York (paid a bloody fortune for the privilege as well, but still it was useful), i have a huge interest in this area as I live with children with exactly these sorts of issues, (2 completely normal ones as well), and have seen how they have been easily helped, and I have taught a teenager who was suicidal (literally) because she wasn't getting the help she needed to cope with her dyspraxia.

Say I;m obsessed with labelling if you want - I'm the one who is actually describing ds2 and ds3 as variations of normal.

Unfortunately, I have seen this happen fairly often. It's too bad, because it winds up completely distracting what the original poster wanted to discuss. I would personally love to hear comments from others who have HSC's and are working with them as such. I know they are out there, since MN is where I first discovered this!

Erm I have a HSC (according to that list), and I'm working with him.

Having had my say I have had enough of this thread, so am off. So promise not to comment anymore on the HSC phenomenon. If you child starts having problems with school work or something then for gods sake get them assessed they may be eligible for extra help. If they don't, then enjoy them for their individuality whatever you call them.

mp- I will post the bi-polar links later, on a new thread- (prob in SN) but have to drag them out of my inbox first.

Ok, so I have thought about this thread and have read it with a [confused emoticon] face. I have wanted to post but always feel I am not really clever enough to say it right and I really don't want to offend anyone ...
BUT here goes:

I am totally with Jimjams on this .... I got lost half way through because it seems a bit intellectual but that is what I was trying to say in my first post ...

Children with genuine issues that can tick all those boxes - could later be dxd with something and therefore need help ...
But there are children who don't have any real 'problems' or SNs who could equally tick many of those boxes (I could for DS when he was 4 but now he seems to be 'getting over' some of them IYSWIM) but whose parents seem to think it is a good idea to Label them as HSC - and so what purpose does it serve?

That is why I am reading this with a [confused emoticon] face because I don't understand why people would WANT their children labelled if it is simply a case of being highly sensitive and common sense in parenting would help them enormously ....
Labelling 'normal' but highly sensitive kids would merely pigeon hole them and rather than help them overcome their sensitivities (using common sense parenting) their parents would make excuses all the time with saying, "Oh, he's highly sensitive you know" ...
Where will it end?
I was a teacher for 10 years and as I think about this I can think of at least half a dozen parents whose kids I have worked with who would have loved to have labelled their highly sensitive child as a Highly Sensitive Child and then felt better about it ... I really don't understand what purpose it serves other. Parents should recognise their children's sensitivities and deal with them, work with them, help them learn the way of the world (the way you are all clearly doing) and any teacher worth their salt should understand that all children are different and have different needs and not every child in the classroom needs a label.

There I have said it ... for some reason this is riling me ... and that is unusual ... perhaps it is me that is Highly Sensitive???

PM, I think this is the original thread that I read. Very interesting, and for some reason totally different responses than on this thread. Of course, it is a full moon on Thursday...

ghosty - I can see too the sccenario ,where fluffy parent proudly anounces to anyonewho can hear "Oooh, he's highly sensitive, don't you know!! HSC is neither good or bad, but can see some parents wishing a 'diagnosis' as a badge of honour.
And I TOTALLY agree with the not-labelling thing......as just about every post I have placed here would testify.

So, would we say that we are all agreeing on here then?

just read the former thread...wistfully....thanks.

No prob, have just sent a CAT to you as well.

I've read more of the book since last night. I've also read more about dyspraxia and also the Out Of Synch child link JJ posted.

Dyspraxic and/or "out of synch" doesn't describe DS1 and it doesn't describe me as a child (or adult) either.

I recognise myself so acutely in the HSC book that it upsets me deeply. And when people post "wtf, this is worthless shite" it does get to me.

I've had lots of flashbacks to school and I'm feeling really pretty fragile about this.

I am not going to mention the phrase "highly sensitive" in RL to anyone I'm not 100% sure will understand it. And being HS myself, I'll know who they are, right?

JJ, you say that a sensory integration program would help a lot of the behaviours on that list. And Custy, you aren't sure that a child has a sense of smell so acute?

Well, as I've said before, my sense of smell is so acute I can sometimes taste what other people are eating. It's not something I see as a problem. It was something I thought everyone could do, until I mentioned it...!

Perhaps I do need help. Perhaps I am in denial that I'm dyspraxic (I'm not though ).

Or perhaps those who don't get this could just be a bit more accepting that not everyone in the world is as bullish as them?

It's great that some children grow out of these behaviours. I did. Well, I didn't. I learnt coping strategies. I still get paralysed by fear at meeting new people, but I put myself well out of my comfort zone so that I can achieve the "high" that succeeding at something brings. What I also did, I believe, is squashed something in myself in order to behave socially appropriately. And, wouldn't you know it, I have the depression to show for it.

There's loads more, but I don't want to bare myself on this thread.

I don't understand what the issue is here. If most behaviours come in a spectrum, which they appear to do, then it looks to me very like the highly sensitive child "label" is simply a description of part of the (very wide) autistic spectrum. I think that Jimjam's point is that if you are ticking many of these boxes then it is worth exploring at least whether your child falls in the mild or the serious end, and whether there is anything that could be done to lessen some of the issues that come with some of these behaviours. I could tick many (but definitely not all) of these boxes for my ds, and indeed for myself (some are just indicators of introspection, after all and I know that I am quite kinesthetic) but isn't it about whether they cause a problem?

I don't think that there is a problem with "labelling" things, so long as the label is right, and helpful. For example, I found Myers-Briggs personally useful, and I have just (on a much lighter note) had a colour analysis. Useful things that help me know myself better (and maybe dress better too!).

I think the problem comes from people thinking that labels are always negative, as opposed to descriptive, and a feeling that you can't then do anything about characteristics. Personally I would love to be less noise sensitive (I can't stand being near people who are eating, for example) and if there is anything I could do to help ds concentrate in a classroom, then I would do it - especially this year when his class size goes from 25 to 36.