Indicators of having a Highly Sensitive Child - your dd or ds?

[Panman]

1. startles easily

2.complains about itchy fabrics on skin 3.doesn't usually enjoy big surprises. 4.learns betterfrom gentle correction than strong punishment 5.seems to read my mind 6.uses big words for his/her age 7.notices the slightest unusual odour 8.has a clever sense of humour 9.seems very intuative 10.is hard to get to sleep after a long day 11.doesn't do well with big changes 12.wants to change clothes if wet or sandy 13.asks lots of questions 14.is a perfectionist 15.notices the distress of others 16. prefers quiet play 17. asks deep thought provoking questions 18.is very sensitive to pain 19.is bothered by noisy places 20.notices subtleties in changes(appearances, environment 21.considers if it is safe before climbing high. 22. performs better when strangers aren't present 23.feels things deeply.

13 or more hits indicates the likelihood of HSC, or much fewer but very strongly.

These characteristics are equal in incidence between boys and girls, and approx. 20% of children have such consistent characteristics.

This thread may trigger parents to reflect on their child whom in some way appears a little 'different'.....

Above is from a book on the subject, and also relates to other threads on the site on HSC.

Any observations??

Oh please ghosty!!

I did get a bit impatient with all of the diagnosing/labelling thing.

My 6 y.o. is def. a HSC, and it means I understand her better now, and ensure that when I am out with her, no-one under mines her with some sort of misfit label.

Do you mean synaesthetic, Nooka?

Like I say, because I know HS applies to me, I know it's not autism in any form or dyspraxia, or any of the other "missing the point" labels.

Hunker, I so get what you're talking about. I also now understand why my mother looks at me wistfully sometimes and says, "seeing you with (ds) makes me see so many things I should have done differently with you." It's a bit sad for both of us wondering how differently things might have turned out. Not that I turned out badly , but I've always had a feeling something was missing, IYKWIM. My main concern now is preventing that, as much as I can, with ds.

Hi Hunker, no I didn't mean synaesthetic, but my spelling might not be right! I was thinking of the NLP thing, which is about how you primarily approach the world (audio, visual or kinesthetic) it's all about how you mind works - I'm visual (like most people), but I have a tendency towards touch/feeling, which means that I don't visualise well (makes things like meditation difficult, because this is often taught through visualisation). Here is a link that might explain this better than me which I found this when testing out my spelling. Btw I'm not suggesting that being sensitive is the same as being autistic, just that sensory issues are a big part of the autistic spectrum, and from what Jimjam has said of dyspraxia too. I think all these things are very related, but it all goes to show how unknown the mind really is, I think.

Jabberwocky - my mum has commented the same way with me and DD.

I cant help think that people are utterly missing the point here. By reading HSC book, and adapting ourselves to its approaches, its not giving anyone a label or taking one away. If HSC is not appropriate for a child (because they do have something to "diagnose") - surely that will become apparent pretty quickly anyway?

So whats the issue then?

I really think people ought to read the book a bit before deciding what they think this is.

JimJims, I think its a given that you have a far and wide spreading knowledge on behavioural/SN issues. You dont need to qualify yourself to have an opinion here, nor should you. Indeed, if i ever had any questions on autism and related issues I would single you out for information/fact finding. That said, it doesnt disqualify other peoples opinions either, nor should it mean that because you dont go along with HSC, that HSC is simply a phenomenon, or flash in the pan, gimmick/pseudo psychology etc etc etc. But, each to their own n all that.

I dont think Panman has told you to go away as such, but, for reasons beyond my understanding, you appear to want to squash a thread that was started for the benefit of others, who can, take it or leave it if they dont think it applies to them/theirs.

Only had a chance to skim read the rest of this since I last posted but thought I'd stick my head back in quickly to agree with Jimjams about if you have a child who fits a lot of the profile of an HSC, then it is definitely worth reading up on dyspraxia and considering their motor skills/planning to be sure that dyspraxia is ruled out. The difference to my DD now that she has been having OT, physio & extra help at school for her dyspraxia is absolutely immense and I hate thinking of children going undiagnosed.

nooka- auditory integration therapy might really help. A lot of places are very pricey, but I know of someone locally who would hire you all the equipment to do yourself. CAT me for more info. Search AIT on google as well.

incidentally ds1 smells seats when people stand up, he smells his hands if someone has held his hand and he will wipe kisses off to smell them and can smell things hidden in food, so yes hypersensitivities exist and cab be very difficult to deal with (having just spent a swimming session with a child who couldn't stay in the pool except to stand with his hands in his ears because people were using diving boards). However living with that sort of hypersesitivity is very difficult - if it kicks in early enough it can CAUSE developmental difficulties is is however very treatable, and thanks ghosty, nooka and kittypickle. Exactly what I was trying to say (badly).

hunkermumker- I'm not trying to be bullish. I could put you in contact with people who have helped with exactly the sorts of problems you describe. The person I spoke to last night has worked with over 250 medical students for example with these sorts of issues (in this case an oversensitive visual system).

Anyway the offer is there. If you want a list of potential helpful contacts CAT me.

Thought most of the things on the list are what most children go through at one time or another, DS is a lot at the moment but I wouldn't say he is different from any other child.

We could all write a list of our child's quirks but it wouldn't make them different from other kids really in the sense of the word - from a mothers point of view I would hate to label my child anything to be honest unless there was some sort of problem that really affected every day behaviour or meant he had to have some sort of support from a professional.

To be honest reading it again I really can't understand where it is coming from - most of the points apply to me and I can tell you I am not highly sensitive.

I'm off now so not going to argue with anyone - already done that with DH so thats it for today!!

Oh and JJ I am right behind you - people can't tell you to stop reading threads just because they happen to disagree with what you say!!

Bit bemused that this can cause such a wobble. As far as I can see, JimJams simply seems to be saying "Please be aware that this may be indicative of something else that requires a different approach" and if she was saying that on a medical thread we would all agree.

Ghosty I don't think there is an urge to 'label' - but speaking personally, reading this was quite SHOCKING because actually it might be something that explains how my dd sees the world.

That is helpful because in understanding how she sees the world (that may be different from me) I can help to understand her behaviour. And not make mistakes in my parenting that might upset her/fuck her up.

FOR EXAMPLE, the fact that she will only eat about 10 foods is seen as many to be a failure of my parenting and I should starve her until she eats 'normally'. I think that is wrong.

FOR EXAMPLE 2, I am a REALLY strict parent and this often seems to upset her because I SHOUT or get angry and this is too much for her to process/cope with and she sometimes 'closes down' when I do this. If I can understand more about why this happens, I can remember to change my behaviour in a way that enables the disciplinary experience to be more harmonic and less distressing, while maintaining behavioural boundaries are met.

EXAMPLE 3: People are always saying "god she's SOO clever!" and actually I'm not sure that she is - she just processes things very deeply (for what of a better, non-computerised expression).

Thanks mp

We've been through the 10 foods thing. a ONE YEAR food sensory program sorted it out- when I say sorted it is still very wobbly, but he will eat a far wider range (now will eat meat and grated veg for example - after 4 years without either- fruit we have yet to tackle). It took a long time but I never bvelieved we'd get to where we are today.

example 3 is a sign of a child with a hypersesnitve visual system. That can be good- providing it doesn't impinge on other things when it can be bad!

I love some of these, they say so much more about the parents:

5.seems to read my mind
6.uses big words for his/her age
8.has a clever sense of humour
9.seems very intuative
13.asks lots of questions
14.is a perfectionist
17. asks deep thought provoking questions
And you are....... a parent who is slightly obsessed with having a 'clever' 'intelligent' child

4.learns betterfrom gentle correction than strong punishment
15.notices the distress of others
16. prefers quiet play
19.is bothered by noisy places
20.notices subtleties in changes(appearances, environment
23.feels things deeply.
And you are.......... a parent who believes that their child is 'emotionally sensitive' (because this reflects on you as a person being emotionally sensitive yourself)

1. startles easily 3.doesn't usually enjoy big surprises. 10.is hard to get to sleep after a long day 11.doesn't do well with big changes
2. performs better when strangers aren't present And you are........... a parent who doens't want to make allowances/ changes to your life just because you have a child - and you think seperation anxiety is just 'playing up'

2.complains about itchy fabrics on skin
7.notices the slightest unusual odour
12.wants to change clothes if wet or sandy
18.is very sensitive to pain
And you are.......... the parent who is convinced your child has multiple allergies and spends a foturne (whether you can afford it or not) on speical allergy free, eco products! A total nostalgic for simpler times when maids washed your clothes in borax and soap flakes

Not v helpful post really riab

oh pmsl - you are going to be in such trouble riab!

Although I have to add there are children who generally do struggle with sensory integration (that's why OT's have jobs!- because there is something that can be done about oversensitive noses and ears and eyes and dodgy senses of balance and trouble integrating the lot)

I'm up for no more wobbling!!

I did commence the thread, on HSC, as I had noted in so many ways my dd appeared quite 'different' in some observable behavioural traits. Have learned alot on this thread about related issues, and have benefitted from this.

Jimjams I think the problem with food with dd is that she is hypersensitive to taste and texture. Having tried to hide stuff in food I am amazed that she will know EXACTLY what it is, even though it might be a food she has only tried once before (haha like a VEGETABLE!). She will gag if she eats something 'by mistake' and often throw up - lovely. Since having dd2 she HAS become more adventurous which is GREAT - she sees the baby eating well and wants to try stuff. She HAS eaten food which I have pureed for the baby, which she otherwise would not have eaten - maybe a texture thing? I haven't fought this, just fed it to her and made the baby another bowl. She has also added carrot sticks to her list of foods she will eat, as long as they are freshly pulled i.e. very sweet and in thin batons...

ANYWAY I read the previous thread on this and there seemed to be a lot of children there whose problems I would have thought extended well beyond being highly sensitive - e.g. "I can't leave the house because of his behaviour!" type posts and I totally agree that you wouldn't want to put a 'label' on such children without checking out that they might have another recognisable problem that needs dealing with in a different way.

DD1 does not have any behavioural 'problems' as such that we have not managed to work around - e.g. we have simple bottom underwear that she will wear under anything she deems to scratchy/wooly/etc; She is fine with new environments as long as she has a detailed 'briefing' beforehand - ALL the details - and lots of the things are positively beneficials - she notices all the housework I do and was toilet trained by 18 months - and makes good, funny conversation - and recognises plants in the garden by their smell which is a good party trick.

But if you are thinking "Argh my child's behaviour means I can't leave the house!" I would think you might want to look at other causes of this first.

Panman not really nice or grown up to tell someone to eff off, just take things on the chin if people don't agree with you and have a bit of a sense of humour!

simple bottom underwear

DOH that should be COTTON underwear

Food is a very big issue with us, too, mp. I have been amazed at what ds can detect in my attempts to hide veggies in sauces, etc. I can get away with it, but I have to be very careful as to how I do it. Textures are huge with him, particularly meat and crunchy things.

PM, we are of the same mind on many things, eh?

Twinkie....I am easy with disagreements. But not with 'tourists' who float in to amuse themselves for a short while, and as a consequence misunderstand the matter being discussed, and attepmt some mis-informed smart-arseyness.

No not very nice, but an occassion a very grown up thing to do.

food issues are veyr common. this time last year ds1 would eat buckwheat pancakes, ready salted crisps, gluten free cheese and tomato pizza, gluten free toast with butter and jam, and nothing else. But this is my point- these things can be treated. His was an extreme case-mainly due to an oversensitiviity to textures (although also smell) but he can now eat vaguely normally. But to get to that stage needed an input- and was helped by dealing with those oversnsitivities. Recongisiing the problem was the first stage, but then developiing a suitable sensory program provided the means to overcoming it (kind of).

I don;t think a childn needs a diagnosable condition to be helped.. The out of sync child is more than enough help for most children, or a few OT sessions to develop a programme.

Have reported my post 1.56pm and asked for it's removal.