Indicators of having a Highly Sensitive Child - your dd or ds?

[Panman]

1. startles easily

2.complains about itchy fabrics on skin 3.doesn't usually enjoy big surprises. 4.learns betterfrom gentle correction than strong punishment 5.seems to read my mind 6.uses big words for his/her age 7.notices the slightest unusual odour 8.has a clever sense of humour 9.seems very intuative 10.is hard to get to sleep after a long day 11.doesn't do well with big changes 12.wants to change clothes if wet or sandy 13.asks lots of questions 14.is a perfectionist 15.notices the distress of others 16. prefers quiet play 17. asks deep thought provoking questions 18.is very sensitive to pain 19.is bothered by noisy places 20.notices subtleties in changes(appearances, environment 21.considers if it is safe before climbing high. 22. performs better when strangers aren't present 23.feels things deeply.

13 or more hits indicates the likelihood of HSC, or much fewer but very strongly.

These characteristics are equal in incidence between boys and girls, and approx. 20% of children have such consistent characteristics.

This thread may trigger parents to reflect on their child whom in some way appears a little 'different'.....

Above is from a book on the subject, and also relates to other threads on the site on HSC.

Any observations??

morocco- ds2 - who scores 15 on the list isn't shy either. He is I suspect slightly "out of sync" which given his brothers condition (svere autism) is hardly surprising. A lot of the list are indicators of dyspraxia.

batoutofhell ds1 is often viewed as rude as well by people because he doesn;t reply to them (he;s 7 but can't talk). I tend to answer for him if I can't be arsed to get into a conversation with a member of the general public (which is normal tbh), or I jst say "he can't talk" Obviously SM is different, espeically because what you say will have an effect on your child- (sorry in your previous post I had missed the SM), probably I would just answer for him and explain to people who needed to know out of earshot.

I think SM is very different from HSC though. I agree with Tiglett's first post about HSC.

I don't think I'm bneing obtuse vvv. I have a child with a "real" label and one who woujld fit the HSC label (and one who is god knows what). I completely fail to see the point of HSC though.

JJ - one of the points of HSC observation is to avoid pejorative labels being attached to perfectly healthy children. They do process things more deeply than others, and it doesn't mean they are "quicker" or "slower" than others. It also provides cues in introducing change or other stimulations andnot being judgemental/concerned about their reactions, or allowing others to be so.

I find your dismissiveness and reference to a "real" label, objectionable, actually. HSC doesnt do it for you, thats cool, and clearly you have greater issues, we mostly all know this too.

morroco - it isn't a euphemism for shyness. Simply that HSC ones CAN be wrongly misunderstood as shy, when they are not.

Very interesting I find...that the concept has filtered down to the children. I read a book many years ago called Highly Sensitive People and recognised myself immediately. It taught me to be more sympathetic to myself and to give myself more time in new situations and it gave me ideas on how to lessen the stress I felt by taking things slowly and in small steps. For example, visiting a venue beforehand when giving a speach. In the end I would say that anything that increases your understanding for yourself and others in a non-judgemntal way is a good thing!

HS People - same author.

morocco, HSC's can be introverted or extroverted. So it can sometimes be difficult with the extroverted ones to figure out where they are coming from.

I have benefited greatly from recognizing this in my ds and subtly changing some of my responses to him.

Frankly, I am quite surprised that some of you have raised objections to this theory. For those of us who have HSC's learning about it has been a truly remarkable experience for us and our children and has only served to enhance our interactions as a family. Surely that can only be a good thing?

x-posts Babblan. Glad to see we're on the same wave-length

Jabberwocky, I suspect my posts from my sleep addled brain have probably hindered things along the way...im not quite sure I've got my point across properly in some (all?) of them

Panman is probably wanting to "kick me under the table" every time I post

VVV - can you not see the virtual bruises already??

DS1 fits most if not all of the list you've posted, Panman. Which book is it from?

VVV, I see no problems with any of your posts AS far as being sleep addled, I've been up since 4:30 (pregnancy insomnia?) so I may head back to bed for a little shut-eye - it's only 6:15 here.

hunker - The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them (Paperback)
by Elaine Aron

Well worth reading, ime.

I was thinking that Hunker, knowing him as I do........

Was going to mention it next week.....by which time Panman would have sent me my next installment

Thanks jabs (very jolly hockey sticks!).

Yes, thought you'd back up my feelings on that, VVV!

He's a really sweet comical little boy when he's with people he's very familiar with, but when he's with people he doesn't see that often - oh, the way this thread's gone, anyone who doesn't know him will just say "oh, they're all like that". Gah.

I'm going out now so will have a look for it in the library.

Er.

Obviously I meant to say thank you as well

I object to pseudo labels because they devalue real labels. That doesn't affect me, because ds1's problems are apparent to all, but they affect those with children with HFA/AS for example. As presented with a walking, talking academically able child people begin to think that they're similar to the HSC they read about. When they're worlds apart. If the book helps you to understand why your child behaves the way they do then of course its a good thing, but why label them? It covers a huge range of children anyway with all sports of different issues.

If your child is scoring highly on that list I would seriously look at some OT work. The out of synch child is a great resource, cheap resource for that, if their over-sensitivity is affecting them to a greater degree - say behaviourally- then I would highly recommend BIBIC who will provide a full developmental assessment and an excellent- easy to carry out at home- sensory programme. They don't diagnose, they don't need a dx, and they work with children who are very severely disabled through to very high achievers with sensory issues that they are trying to cope with.

Well, I'm up for stickability on the thread!

This isn't a panacea, just(again) an invitation to reflect differently, and to avoid others providing judgements.

and this thread was not intended to be a 'labels' war at all. Dislike labels myself, but, on occassion they serve as a short-cut, but need approaching in a sophisticated way to avoid the slavishness I referred to earlier.

He is a lovely boy Hunker. They both are.

I've got the book - lovely library!

Have started reading it. Fascinating stuff. Thanks for the recommendation.

am going to attempt some more of my variety copy right now, actually.....

Wow, hunker, that was fast!

May I label this post a bump?