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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

4 month old, HV says I need to socialise him

44 replies

Sparkeleigh · 04/03/2014 21:03

My 4 month old DS is usually happy and smiley and loves looking about him but he's recently started to cry when people he doesn't know or recognise get close to his face or hold him.

I mentioned this in passing to my health visitor and she immediately told me to get him out and socialising. I have to admit, I usually take what she says with a pinch of salt.

We do go out to the shops and for walks but I only occasionally go to baby groups. He loves looking at other babies and people when go anywhere, he only gets upset if strangers touch his face, or lean over him closely or hold him.

Is this just a phase? I'm not keen on passing him round like a parcel to get him used to it if it's not necessary and I'm not even sure this is actually a problem that needs resolved...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Fisharefriendsnotfood · 04/03/2014 21:05

Smile and nod. Then ignore. They have to say something

JiltedJohnsJulie · 04/03/2014 21:05

I'd take this one with a huge pinch of salt too

Cringechilli · 04/03/2014 21:06

Load of bullshit. He's a little baby, he needs love and milk.

ilovepowerhoop · 04/03/2014 21:08

sounds like stranger anxiety and is a phase. you have separation anxiety to look forward to as well!

curiousuze · 04/03/2014 21:10

Big fat hairy balls. Keep your lovely baby all to yourself!

GiveTwoSheets · 04/03/2014 21:10

Babies go through a few fazes of crying at strangers, think next one round about 8months. Dd burst into tears at old people DS was opposite just cry at ladies. Nothing to do with socialising IMO

VoyageDeVerity · 04/03/2014 21:11

What a load of nonsense

I'm totally with love and milk!!

Onesleeptillwembley · 04/03/2014 21:13

Anything a health visitor says, just take with a pinch of salt or tell her to fuck off.

HannahLaRouge · 04/03/2014 21:13

My 4 month old is going through this - cries at anyone who isn't me or his dad. Seems to be getting better now though,pretty sure it's just a phase

KatOD · 04/03/2014 21:13

Love, cuddles, milk, it's a phase. Socialising at 4 months? Good luck with that ?!?

NatashaBee · 04/03/2014 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

imip · 04/03/2014 21:17

Yes, bullshit.... He just needs you....

Original poster

Sparkeleigh · 04/03/2014 21:20

Thank you everyone! I'm relived at the unanimous verdict I though it sounded daft but I began to doubt myself!

NatashaBee - that would actually be hilarious, I'd be tempted

OP posts:

duchesse · 04/03/2014 21:20

Sounds like your HV is confusing 4 with 18.

If I were in a forgiving mood with your HV I might suppose that maybe she is trying to get you out of the house and socialising?

KinderBoris · 04/03/2014 21:21

Socialising at four months? Er, I'm sure he'll be fine!

I took my dc to softplay at about five months. He really erm,enjoyed lying on the mat looking at the balls from the ballpit. I even lay next to him for a while. My mother sat nearby looking at me oddly. I cringe.

He sounds like he's got a good sensible mum in you op. Just smile and nod.

Homelander · 04/03/2014 21:25

My DD was exactly the same when she turned 4 months, it happened almost over night around 16 weeks. It is a phase and will pass, it did take a few months though. To be honest, although she no longer cries at strangers getting too close, she still looks at them with really evil looks rather suspiciously and she is almost 2 now!

Firsttimmemummy · 04/03/2014 21:27

My 4 month old does this when she is tired, she even cries at her daddy and he is lovely! Only I am good enough at the moment. And I socialise her LOADS. Don't worry about it. xxx

NK2b1f2 · 04/03/2014 21:27

Socialise a baby? Now I've heard everything.... What utter nonsense. dd2 beamed at anyone and everyone and was a very friendly and smiley baby. dd1 scowled at everyone and didn't want to know. They are both gorgeous, quiet, confident, happy within themselves, and neither of them needed to be socialised at 4 months old. Where do health visitors learn this crap?

NatashaBee · 04/03/2014 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Sparkeleigh · 04/03/2014 21:30

Duchesse - you may be onto something, she was strangely obsessed with getting me to leave the house when he was a few weeks old. I felt like making a sign saying "no, bugger off, it's cold and I like it here" and sticking it to the door when she was supposed to arrive

KinderBoris - thanks it makes a great story though

OP posts:

ColdTeaAgain · 04/03/2014 21:31

Need to socialise a 4 month old! Dear god where do these HVs get their ideas from?

BertieBotts · 04/03/2014 21:32

Maybe she thinks he's a puppy. I wonder if it's the same HV who once looked askance at a mumsnetter who was doing baby led weaning and wrote suspiciously in the read book "Mum has given baby human food

missmargot · 04/03/2014 21:34

Is she getting babies confused with puppies?

Original poster

Sparkeleigh · 04/03/2014 21:34

Bertie - human food! What madness is that?

OP posts:

BertieBotts · 04/03/2014 21:36

I don't know but the thread was hilarious, made me laugh. It was years ago, the baby in question is probably at primary school eating wholly unhuman food by now!

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