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Original poster

Potty training.

231 replies

callie · 06/02/2002 08:57

Iam going to try and potty train my dd who is 21mths.
Would love some advice or tips.
Did you put yours straight in pants and put them on the pot every hr or so??

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cherry · 22/05/2002 21:25

Brilliant susanmt, one day at a time! Hope she carries on this way

Demented · 23/05/2002 08:46

susanmt, sounds like a good start, hope it continues!

Eemie, obviously it's up to you but I would be a little wary of the suggestion to make your daughter clean up after herself. Certainly when it comes to night time wetting I have heard that it is very much the wrong thing to make them strip the bed and put it in the washing machine (not sure why but apparently has psychological effects). I may be completely wrong but I would imagine the same rule applies to day time wetting.

I did notice from your post that you say sometimes she doesn't ask for the toilet. Does she always have to ask or does she have access to a potty or toilet with a little step or something to help her get up on it so that she can go by herself? Certainly with my DS he has enjoyed the independence thing right from the start. In fact he now blows a gasket if I try to take him to the toilet, before his afternoon nap for example!

Maybe if she is just not interested anymore you could try putting her back in nappies and she may quickly change her mind when she sees that she is the only one at nursery still wearing nappies.

Not an easy situation, I do feel for you and hope it gets better soon!

eemie · 23/05/2002 09:57

Thank you all for your ideas.

Cherry, yes I tried pull-ups a while ago - she seemed to find them no different from a nappy and didn't mind how wet they were.

SueDonim, I've never asked her to clean up after herself but she sometimes volunteers, in fact she finds scrubbing the carpet an enjoyable game.

Demented, she does have access to potties downstairs and up and the upstairs loo at home. At nursery she can go by herself to the mini loos they have, and often does. I have wondered whether I should dispense with the potties at home, because she obviously can't really be needing them and it means she's not learning that she has to stop what she's doing (eg watching favourite video) if she needs the loo. At one point I tried keeping a potty in the loo only, so that she would always have to stop what she's doing and go upstairs, but I quickly gave up because it seemed I was setting her up for more accidents.

Azzie, I have put up a star chart for her and if she goes a whole day without an accident she will get a decorated star with a letter on it. The letters will spell out a treat every now and then. It may not help but it makes me feel as if I'm doing something positive.

SueDonim · 23/05/2002 12:03

Just to point out that I didn't and wouldn't suggest making a child strip its own bed at night or that one should come over as some sort of draconian parent towering over a bucket and wash-board! The idea is that the child takes responsibilty for his/her own actions and you use it in carefully assessed circumstances, i.e. you wouldn't do it when training a two y/o but might do with a four y/o who has shown that he/she is capable of being clean and dry.

Of course it can backfire if, like Emmie's dd, they decide they enjoy doing the washing, but then maybe you can harness that energy and get them to do the family laundry!! (Just Joking, in case anyone thinks I'm for real.)

Demented · 23/05/2002 16:44

SueDonim, sorry I might have put that across wrongly. I don't imagine you would do that at all, just wary if getting them to clean up after day time accidents might cause similar problems. Obviously if it works then great!

susanmt · 29/05/2002 11:56

DD is now dry at home all the time, as long as she doesn't have to pull pants up and down! Any tips??

Lizzer · 30/05/2002 12:03

Eemie- LOL "in fact she finds scrubbing the carpet an enjoyable game" My dd is exactly the same!
She is now 2 and a half and we've not had a nappy on during the day for nearly a week (minus one day over the weekend which would've just been a logistical nightmare!) Hurray, never thought I'd get out of the house without nappies, ever!

Susanmt RE: Pants, could you take her to the shops and let her pick a packet with a fave character or something pretty on to encourage her to wear them? Dd loves her tweenies knickers! Also, we call them 'big girl knickers' and talk a lot about babies wearing nappies...

I don't know if this has been suggested before but I'm using a pampers care mat in the car seat and the pushchair just in case of accidents, then don't need to wash the whole thing - not very enviromentally aware though I must add...

SueDonim · 30/05/2002 12:13

Lizzer, you can buy the yukkily named but washable 'Piddle Pad' from either GLTC or Blooming Marvellous to use in buggies/car seats.

batey · 30/05/2002 20:12

Can anyone help my little dd and I? She's 2 and a month and we're definitely "doing" potty training whether I want to or not! Due to big dd she's been aware of the goings on in the bottom region since about 18m's and did often say if she was pooing/weeing. Lately she's been wanting to wear knickers and would happily deliver a wee on the loo or potty whenever. But over the last 2 weeks both dds have had a bug that gave them stomach cramps, off food, mild vomitting and constipation. They're over the worst by far now but small dd seems terrified of pooing as it has hurt her lately. So much so that she seems to hold onto her wee to the point where it hurts and then can't take anymore and floods wherever she happens to be, she also does the same with pooing, but seems to "give in" in the bath.
I'm doing my best to reassure, comfort and stay cool but the thing is when she's uncomfortable all she wants to do is sit/ squirm around on me and I cant do a thing (dh off in Far east for a month!!), it is driving me slightly "potty"! Help!

pupuce · 30/05/2002 21:24

Will she sit on the potty or toilet ???? If so, you could try the "run the tap" trick, it should make her wee.... just a thought.

batey · 30/05/2002 21:31

When she's desperate to go she gets all worked up and dosn't want to sit on loo/potty, if I'm lucky i can place her there mid -flow and then she's fine. Once the need is dealt with she's happy to run off and tiddle, the problem comes,say if she's had a nap then a drink and gets "full" and then scared of a poo happening at the same time.

pupuce · 31/05/2002 09:20

Can you pre-empt her full bladder and make her sit with the tap on ?

batey · 31/05/2002 09:40

I can give it a go, it's more of a problem when the need for a poo is developing. I dont know how to stop the poo fear.

pupuce · 31/05/2002 10:18

Is her poo quite hard???? If so you can try to give her more water and fiber ??

batey · 01/06/2002 14:41

Poo is normal I'd say, now, and she does drink like a fish anyway. I think over the last day or so she's a little calmer, but I'm sure she's still resisting the poos.?!

Madie · 04/06/2002 23:15

Does anyone have any ideas on the best way to clean up the carpet after an accident ??

I haven't started potty training yet but I want to be prepared.

Also I am worried that dd may get upset if she sees me cleaning up afterwards ....

mollipops · 05/06/2002 02:46

Madie, best idea if possible is to try to keep your dd playing in hard-floor areas or outdoors as much as you can. And avoid too many trips out the first few days...if unavoidable take a plastic bag, spare knickers and a small towel with you! You could also buy some cheap mats for her room and play areas that you could eventually get rid of once toilet training is over! IME if you wait until she is really ready it shouldn't actually take all that long anyway, but of course there will still be the odd accident.

Treat it as matter-of-fact and keep cleaning up brief as you can, without making a big deal of it. Blot any wee up with an old towel/cloth nappy or paper towels. Flood with tepid water, then blot again until touch dry. If you have light coloured carpet you may also need to add vinegar and liquid laundry detergent to the water (just a tbspn of each), then rinse with clear water and blot dry. The latter is also good for poo stains, although hopefully they will be few (it's the pooey knickers that make me crazy)!

Good luck!

susanmt · 05/06/2002 09:09

I thought I would let you know that my dd is off to the childminder today wearing PANTS! We have really got the hang of the thing in the house and so this is her first expedition out on her own - I almost shed a little tear to see her slim bottom leaving the house this morning after over 2 yrs wrapped up in cloth!!

mears · 05/06/2002 10:54

Vanish mousse is fantastic for any accidental stains of most sorts

janh · 05/06/2002 11:54

Madie, Mollipops' blot-and-flood-and-blot-again is dead right, and the best thing for any remaining smell in carpets is good old bicarb.

I used to hate pooey knicks too - I developed a nifty technique of kind of rolling them inwards before removing them to keep legs a bit cleaner - but at least you can soak them in the loo to get the worst off and then give them a proper wash...can't do that with carpets!

mollipops · 06/06/2002 06:57

Too true janh!

Yay susanmt, excellent! Don't they look so "grown up" with underwear on, I love seeing their cute little bums - so different out of nappies. Streamlined!

Madie · 06/06/2002 23:34

Advance apologies if this is getting to graphic with the details here ...

I (well rather dd), attempted potty training this afternoon. A lot of her accidents seem to be lots of little dribbles here and there (although we did successfully manage 3 potty hits !).

Is the dribbles here and there to be expected? I must admit I was expected a couple of big wees.

Also, dd hasn't done the dreaded no 2 yet on the potty. But once she has, what is the best way to clean her up ? Do you lie them down afterwards ? I'm a bit mystified as dd tends to sit on her potty for a bit, then jump up without warning and play around again.

Thanks for the advice so far

susanmt · 06/06/2002 23:37

Today we were on the beach - glorious day here.
Dd is walking down the beach shouting (at the top of her voice) MEEEEEEEE PAAAAAANTSSSSSSS!!! when we met the minister's wife!
blush

mollipops · 07/06/2002 06:43

Lol susanmt - well she is a proud little girl obviously! It is something to crow about after all!

Madie, well done on 3 successes! The dribbles are actually a good sign as it shows she has some control and has an awareness of how to stop the flow once she realises she's "let go". (My dd on the other hand would happily stand and flood the floor in complete oblivion!) The success at number 2's is usually after the number 1's....ds has just triumphed at both about a month ago. It took him a couple of weeks to "let go" of his poo in the potty, so he "held on" for about a week and then when he did go it was an enormous success in every sense! But once he did it a couple of times, he was really good about it. (He likes being able to see it and let it plop into the loo!) Still they are all different and what works for one may not work for another, so I'm afraid it's trial and error til you hit on it! Good luck, sounds like she's doing really well.

mollipops · 07/06/2002 06:48

Madie, I almost forgot - you asked about cleaning them up afterwards. Best to keep the "big girl" thing going rather than laying her down - take her to the loo and use toilet paper and/or wet wipes. Just damp toilet paper is better as it isn't as cold as wet wipes. Ds clenches his butt cheeks together until I almost need a crowbar to get in there properly! I try to get him to squat slightly and bend forward, which seems to help. Fun isn't it?