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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DH wants 2.8 DC to have a bedtime routine

101 replies

DuelingFanjo · 03/09/2013 21:16

I still breastfeed.
We co-sleep.
He no longer naps in the day.

DS feeds to sleep still. My husband as decided we need a routine. Some nights DS will have fallen asleep in the car on the way home from nursery, other nights he will fall asleep while feeing around seven to eight pm. Other nights he will be up gone nine pm.

I think my husband means we should do rapid return or something. There's no chance of DS Avignon his own room at the moment.

Occasionally I do get frustrated by the very late nights but mostly we go with the flow.

What would you do? How woud you achieve 'a routine'?

OP posts:

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SirChenjin · 03/09/2013 21:18

Everyone is different. We do bedtime routines, which consists of bath at around 7, followed by story and milk, followed by bed.

What do you think? Would a routine help you all?

Original poster

DuelingFanjo · 03/09/2013 21:25

To be perfectly honest I can't be arsed. I think it's fab if other people achieve it but I do wonder how. Like... After the milk do they just smile sweetly and stay in bed? How did you achieve this this?

OP posts:

WipsGlitter · 03/09/2013 21:26

Why does your DH want one?

Original poster

DuelingFanjo · 03/09/2013 21:27

Also, tonight for example I had to go straight from work to my allotment with ds. It was half seven by the time we got in and DH was cooking dinner. Half eight by the time ds was ready for bed. We just can't have a consistent evening routine because we both work and dinner time can vary. I am so much more inclined to go with the flow and feel like DH wants things to change but without providing any assistance to change things.

OP posts:

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 03/09/2013 21:28

Will he be starting nursery at 3? If so you might find a more consistent bedtime will be helpful.

If not there's less of a need to change things but you and your DH need to talk and come up with a resolution that you are both happy with.

hettienne · 03/09/2013 21:28

We've always had a routine so DS has just rolled over and gone to sleep since quite little. He's just three now and sometimes (if he has napped in the afternoon) he will play in his room for a while before going to bed.

Now he's generally not sleeping in the day he is tired by 7. We usually have dinner at 6.30pm, sometimes a bath, brush teeth, story, lights out.

LadyintheRadiator · 03/09/2013 21:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

DuelingFanjo · 03/09/2013 21:30

I don't know. He says that ds 'should have a routine because he is almost three' and that he shouldn't be staying up until he's knackered.

I have recently suggested that ds should be having less tv/screen time (iPad etc) because I think DH relies on them to keep him quiet between home time and bed time. This has meant that we have needed to entertain ds ourselves which s how I think it should be to be honest.

OP posts:

ChiefLibrarianOfRandallCounty · 03/09/2013 21:32

Do you think perhaps your husband is feeling the unpredictability of it all is too much? My dh is a bit like this and I am much more go with the flow- we did implement a loose routine which helped everyone know what was to be expected. DH felt much less bombarded by fatherhood as a result (not saying this is what's going on with your family though obv.)

Original poster

DuelingFanjo · 03/09/2013 21:32

We are keeping him in the private nursery for another year. He's been gong since he was 10 months.

I suppose I want to know what is normal, or if there is even a normal. Think DH thinks we are abnormal but n my experience many people do the same as us.

OP posts:

NickNacks · 03/09/2013 21:33

Don't you need to be out the house in the morning?

HairyPorter · 03/09/2013 21:33

I'd go mad without a routine- I want ds 2.5 in bed by 7 so I have an evening without him. Unfortunately dd (11m) has other ideas and is usually up till 10. With ds he has always shown signs of being tired by 6.30-7 and it just made sense to do beditime then. Dd doesn't have the same internal clock unfortunately so I think it is very much baby dependent.

mrsgboring · 03/09/2013 21:34

You can still have a routine with feed to sleep at the end of it. We always aimed for a fairly consistent bedtime and then did bath stories songs in the same order finishing up with feed to sleep. Eventually that turned into sleeping without feeding first and the routine made that easier to implement.

hettienne · 03/09/2013 21:34

Most people I know have a pretty set bedtime, especially if they have to be up and out to nursery or school in the morning.

Original poster

DuelingFanjo · 03/09/2013 21:36

To be honest I feel annoyed because I have done every blooming bedtime for months and survive on very little sleep while also working full time and doing alost every drop off and pick up (nursery is close to my work) so if DH has complaints about a little bit of annoyance in the evening it's a little bit irritating.

OP posts:

NickNacks · 03/09/2013 21:37

I think it's different priorities too. I would never go to the allotment if it meant not getting home until 7.30pm. Dd needs her sleep and she's not a happy camper if she doesn't get it.

bigbuttons · 03/09/2013 21:37

yes, I think he should been well into a bedtime routine by now. Mine were all into a routine well before 6 months.

Original poster

DuelingFanjo · 03/09/2013 21:38

I get up at half seven every weekday. DS may get up sound 8 but it's usually at the same times me. He gets around ten hours slep but does still feed in the night.

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SunnyIntervals · 03/09/2013 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WipsGlitter · 03/09/2013 21:39

I think most people make some sort of stab at a regular bedtime. Is your son knackered?

What's your general pattern between work and home?

LadyintheRadiator · 03/09/2013 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mintyy · 03/09/2013 21:40

I feel inclined to agree with your dh.

How much night time sleep does ds get? If he is not napping during the day then I would say 10/11 hours at night as a minimum.

Also agree that he shouldn't have more than 30 minutes screen time in a day.

ChiefLibrarianOfRandallCounty · 03/09/2013 21:40

(plus of course it's not just about your dh!)

Original poster

DuelingFanjo · 03/09/2013 21:41

Ok. So hw Dow do it? I mean how do you force a toddler to sleep/stay in bed. If it's rapid return then DH woud have to do it meaning I would have to stop the breastfeeding to sleep.

OP posts:

IwishIwasmoreorganised · 03/09/2013 21:41

Ours were both in a consistent routine (bed by 7pm) by about 9 months.

I was back at work when they were 1, and on those days we had to be out of the house by 7.30 am so it was important that they could get their sleep in.

I agree with your DH that your ds shouldn't be staying up until he's knackered.

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