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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

What age did you allow your kids to go out alone in daytime?

28 replies

Lmccrean · 08/06/2006 17:00

At dinner time yesterday, dd (3 1/2) put on her coat, helmet and slippers and started to cycle towards the local park, without me knowing - only reason i know where she was, was cause wee kids across the rd told me when I came out to find her.

Im sooo cross! Ive just got over the flu yesterday and still have a really bad cold.. was in making lemsip and her dinner when she escaped (through 2 heavy fire doors) Although my neighbout saw her and said "oh, I thought you knew she was out on her own"

Anyway, when I was dragging her back up the road, wee kids came over and asked me if dd could stay out and play. Am I too over protective or is 3 old enough to go out with mates? I see others from her nursery school out, but I cant bear the thought of something happenning to her, and I wouldnt be there.

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SparklyGothKat · 08/06/2006 17:09

I don;t let my 8 year old outside, I wouldn;t forgive myself if something happened to him or his younger sisters. We live in a street where the parking is bad and traffic is bad. Also some of the parents in this street have no control of their kids and I don;t want DS and the DDs getting into trouble. They have a garden so they can play out the back.

2shoes · 08/06/2006 17:12

my ds was 7. we live on an estate and the park is right behind our house so he was allowed there(i watched from behind the curtain) 3 is waaaaaaay too young

stoppinattwo · 08/06/2006 19:16

My DS is 7.5 and is only allowed to play in the close outside his Nans house. i also allow him to walk to the shop on his own, its about 400M down the road without crossing any roads on the way.
Dread the day he wants to go further

AllieBongo · 08/06/2006 19:18

ds is 6 and depserate to play out. I won't let him til he's 9 or 10.

apronstrings · 08/06/2006 19:21

No - I have just started to let ds (4 yesterday)play in front garden with dd 10 and ds 7 - but they have to stay there with him and I keep checking

mazzystar · 08/06/2006 19:24

I think 3 seems to young, especially without an older sibling. I guess it depend a lot on where you live as well. I remember playing out from about 7, but we lived on a housing estate with virtually no traffic and every house seemed to have at least one kid living in it.

foxinsocks · 08/06/2006 19:25

dd and ds (5 and 4) are allowed to play with the children in our street (it's a cul de sac) as long as they don't go beyond the end of the road. It's a strict rule and if at any point, I stick my head out and can't see them, they know I will make them come inside! Generally, if they are out, I'm either talking to other people on the street or right in the front room where I can hear them.

I certainly wouldn't let them cycle to the park!

AllieBongo · 08/06/2006 19:27

i live in a quite village cul de sac and still wouldn't let my ds go out. ever since holly and jessica went missing i'm even more paranoid.. (they lived 6 miles from me, and police dug up mounds round the corner that they thought were their bodies)

AdelaideS · 08/06/2006 20:52

This is the first summer I have let ds and dd play in our cul de sac, they are 5 and 6. Instinct played a huge part in the decision, and it's been a gradual thing. They've shown me that they are as traffic-wise as you can expect from that age group, and they know they they must not go beyond the corner. I always have the front door open, and I'm always looking and listening out for them whilst I try to relax and get on with the boring stuff. It hasn't been easy to let go even to this extent, but I feel strongly that it's good for kids to play alone without constant adult supervision and intervention. Traffic is my biggest worry really.

hex · 08/06/2006 20:57

Whooaaa! I'm sorry but 3 is definitely too young - if not because like you say, you would never forgive yourself if something happened. I can't believe this is even a matter for consideration. Even at 5 (which dd1 is) I still think that if someone said 'your mummy wants you. Come with me and I'll take you to her', she might well be persuaded. At 3 she definitely would have been, and I wouldn't have been able to trust other kids to be 'stranger' aware.

nothercules · 08/06/2006 21:05

If you do decide to let your kids out to play, please know what they are doing. I am sick of kids ringing my door bell etc. God knows where their parents are.

Of course 3 is too young. I dont let my 10 year old out.

AllieBongo · 08/06/2006 21:09

do you live down my road N? have the same child knocking on my door 8am at weekends. he's 7, and he just wants to come in as he knows ds isn't allowed to play out. His mum is usually still asleep and doesn't even know he's left the house. she only picks him up from school cos they won't let him go alone.she's crap

compo · 08/06/2006 21:10

How old were the kids asking her to play out? I find the concept of a 3 year old even having 'mates' to play with quite amusing!!

CatherineG · 08/06/2006 22:00

u must be very near to me AllieBongo, we are about 6 miles away aswell (just outside Burwell)

AllieBongo · 08/06/2006 22:07

hellooo. I'm in Moulton, moving to exning at the end of the month. not seen you about before!

SparklyGothKat · 08/06/2006 22:16

yes, please know exactly what your children are doing. We have kids playing outside till 9-10pm, banging on front door, and running away, kicking footballs against cars. The parents don't care and even told the housing officer that 'the kids are allowed to play across all the front garden because they aren't fenced in!!!!!' (open plan front gardens) which is actually wrong.

Jasnem · 08/06/2006 22:21

I've just started to let mine play out with strict rules this year (they are 5&7) - no going in peoples houses, crossing roads, knocking on doors, etc. I pop in and out every 3 mins checking, and frequently take a chair into the street and sit out with a cup of tea. Although our road is a dead end, some people drive ridiculously fast down it and this worries me far more than strangers. No way would I let a 3 year old out.

Blossomhill · 08/06/2006 22:23

My 8.5 yr old will not be playing out for a few years yet. It's just not safe :(

CatherineG · 08/06/2006 22:29

AllieBongo - I have been reading for a couple of months and made the odd post, my true home is my birth board on BabyCentre though (do I get thrown off now). Live in Swaffham Prior with 3.8yo and 4mo boys.

AllieBongo · 08/06/2006 22:31

nah, you can stay :) i have ds 6 and dd 1. haven't heard of the other site

zoeuk1 · 08/06/2006 22:32

my two ds (12 and 7) play outside the front of my house. we live in a quiet cul-de-sac. my 12 yr old ds has just started to cycle to the football pitches about once a week. it takes about 5 minutes to get there and its mainly cycle paths. i only let him go if his friends will be there and hes allowed out for an hour and always takes his phone. theres no way i would let my 7yr old anywhere alone apart from the front of my house. i would never even let a three yr old out the front door on their own!

notanotter · 08/06/2006 22:34

gosh!!!!! my ds2 will be ten in october and LAST summer i would let him go to the local pool with his sister or brother - 2 and 4 years older!~

nothercules · 08/06/2006 22:35

My dd is only 2 and 3/4 and I wont let her walk down the street with me without holding my hand never mind go out on her own.

CatherineG · 08/06/2006 22:40

so that was off topic posts sorry.
re original thread - no my 3.8yo isn't playing out on the front by himself, but more cos there is no one for him to play with, i would be happy if there were similar aged kids on the street (a few doors up or down) and would soon be letting him walk round to play himself - but there isn't

we moved to another part of town when i was 9 and i used to be out and about all the time. also at the old house but don't know what age from (local playground, woods at the top of the road, walked to/from school approx 15 mins crossing several roads). when at the new house i walked to the old house (probably about 45 mins each way so was out for ages without parents worrying). I used to come home to an empty house aswell. cant imagine NOT letting my 7/8/9 yo out on their own - but then they arent yet so will wait and see!

nothercules · 08/06/2006 22:43

Big difference between a 9 year old and 3 year old.

I live on a cul de sac and often see toddlers on little trikes on their own or in small groups. No adult in site. We often have to ask them to move so we can reverse our car out safetly. My neighbour ended up arguing with a bunch of 4 year olds the other day who wouldnt move.

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