Nursery say he's behind! Very worried :(

[Georgebooboo]

I've been to parents evening today for my right month old. The staff said that they think my little one is two months behind as he can't sit unaided and isn't crawling properly yet. They said I need to speak to my health visitor about it. As you can imagine I'm really worried. I assumed they all developed a different rates but now I'm scared there's something wrong . Anyone been in the same position? Please give advice xx

We're you worried before this?

Speaking to HV is a good idea to put your mind at rest.

By the way my DD (now 5) did not sit up till 9 months.

Eight months? DS wasn't sitting by then either, and I can't remember when he crawled. Some babies never reallly crawl and go straight to walking/cruising.

See your HV if you're worried, but I think its all fairly normal.

You have been to parents evening for your eight month old?

The crawling isn't an issue, but him not being able to sit unaided would be on the late side at eight months.

If they are concerned that there really is a problem, then I would skip the HV and go straight to your GP.

In all likelihood there is nothing wrong whatsoever - try and keep that in mind! :)

Was it just one member of staff that said this? To be honest I think they have overstepped the mark a bit - not sitting and crawling is fine in an 8 month old and they should never describe a child as "behind". Id bring this up with the manager.

I'd be more concerned that the nursery worker seemed to be a little clueless about the timing of such milestones. Not crawling at 8 months is completely normal - my DD didn't make any attempt to move until she was 14.5 months old and she was still within the timescales before any healthcare professional would start to look for any issues.

It was the manager and the girl that's looks after my little boy. No I wasn't worried before but they have made me panick. He was three weeks premature and had reflux so anything like this just worries me.. Thanks for the replies x

so age adjusted he's nearer 7 months then - all sound like within normal range to me

I'd not be worried, but you are, so HV or GP appointment if you think it'll put your mind at ease :)

I have an eight month old. He sat unaided probably 3 or so weeks ago. I wouldn't be too worried. Maybe encourage them to sit by playing propped with a pillow to begin with and then they very quickly get it.

Really don't worry, esp as his adjusted age is a little less. Its on the late side, but its the late side of normal :)

Speak to your HV if you're worried though

So they are saying that most 6 month olds can sit and crawl? That really isn't true!

If you are worried go and see your GP, but otherwise I would consider a different day care.

Loads of children don't walk at a year either, DS was 17mo and he just got up and walked one day. Again, on the late side, but within the normal range (just to pre-empt future worries :) )

He's eight months old. Don't worry. Babies develop at different rates. I know some people who had babies who are pulling themselves up to stand at 8 months. Then there are others like my friend's grandson was barely sitting at a year old and didn't walk til he was much older. She didn't worry as the boy's mum didn't walk til she was 15 months old. I'd be more concerned about the nursery manager and her staff.

I had a reflux dd, she didn't sit up until 10-11 months reliably quite simply because she spent the first 6 months of her life being held upright - no tummy time at all, and not much laying down time full stop. Hardly surprising she was so late in sitting IMHO.

My other 3 dds all sat reliably much earlier.

I wouldn't worry. Hard I know ,but I don't think your HV will be worried either

Please don't worry. My daughter was behind at your age. I was also told this was THE WORST THING but it wasn't. She has now caught up and then some.

Try not to worry, I'm sure he's fine. However I don't agree with the nursery bashing on this thread. They obviously spend time with him and are trying to highlight a potential issue. All they have done is ask you to check all is normal with your hv. See them as a support not an enemy.

My DSs nursery have parents evenings, it's useful to know where he is in comparison to other children, just as a rough guide. They don't profess to be experts and any issues they would point me in the direction of those that are.

The nursery staff should be experienced enough not to compare babies imo.

I may well be wrong and I'm perfectly happy to be corrected but I think that as part of Early Years care, nurseries etc are required to give parents info about meeting milestones etc.

When you say 'isn't crawling properly' what do you mean? Can he move a little/get around by rolling? As pps say, I wouldn't be concerned yet, but if he's not moving or sitting at all I might see the HV just to get some reassurance.

They do all develop at different rates. Your little boy is absolutely fine I am sure. A lot of nurseries don't have as much experience of younger babies, and it sounds like your nursery is one of these.
I bet in a few months time you will be chasing him around! Enjoy him whilst he is little and can't move!

Strawberry - as a nursery practitioner myself I think they have handled it very badly. You can tell parents about their child's development, but it's very poor practice to say a child is "behind". Not sure where the nursery is getting that from anyway as in the EYFS sitting unsupported and crawling are both expected between 8-20 months! So in terms of the EYFS his development is where it should be.

Thank you for all of your replies, they've put my mind at ease xx

Fair enough.

He rolls onto his tummy, pushes him self up on his arms and lifts his head up. He moves his legs like he is trying to get somewhere but he can't grasp it just yet x